General Chat

if the scrubbers out i am willing to be a slut aswell.beggers can't be choosers.xx

Jean I'll join you before 8pm in time for the sailing and I'll be happy to be a slut. Never done it before, any tips - LOL! Lynne

good at gettin on my hands and knees!!!!!my interests areFILTH.being a scrubber and being one so wellxxxx

I can vouch for the elf. He was here all night. I kicked him out this morning before Mr Clooney's audition and he came back gibbering within an hour. Most annoying. He's still here now rambling on in elvish. What a shame! He was in perfectly usable condition when I let him out this morning. What can have happened to him to get him in this state? His bow's all crooked as well. Manda, thanks for the offer of Nigel for the audition. Make sure he has a shower first, please. Gwynne

Manda, my apologies and I take back my daft bat reference! LOL

dorothy would like to report in as chief scrubber as the poop decks need cleanng and to be kept clear!i need a underhand scrubber any offers?

Manda you daft bat, Melanie is the pole dancer, I'm Lady Anne the brothel madam! Great job on Jean by the way.

Ah Ah Christina thats why the ship was rolling about ABSENT HELMSPERSON, at this rate we won't get to Lisbon before were ship wrecked, i will drag myself away from the lucky young lady with who i am sharing a cabin, and do some spot checks on the helm, be afraid, David ( security )

OK David, it's a fair cop. Sorry about the drunken dogs. But please come and remove the Elf. He's singing and wailing and Mr Clooney and I want a quiet dinner in the cabin. I understand Nigel is on board - maybe he would like to audition for the panto - I have a window in my schedule on Friday. Send him along, Manda, there's a dear. Gwynne

Hi security here who was steering this ship last night it was rolling all over the place did'tn sleep a wink,( or was it activity in the brothel ) anyway finaly fell asleep and just woken up only to find someone spiked the dogs dinner with vodka, they are both grinning like cheshire cats and wobbling all over the place, was it Gwynne or that elf????. I'm not happy about sleeping in a hammock i need a cabin with a nice young lady and room for my dogs, all offers treated in strictest confidence, thank you. I'm off to find that cringing little Elf, hope he can swim!!! I have relinquished my title of Earl as i don't want to be seen as accepting favours YET!!! David ( security )

Hi, The entertaimments officer (Linda) decreed it was to be Snow White so I am auditioning possible Princes for this very exacting role. Gwynne

Mommylonglegs: I've got the passenger list, thanks (see email) just looking through it. I suggest we leave Lisbon at 8.00pm this evening headed for the Azores. Hopefully the Chief Engineer Len, will be around to speak to then. I suggest we serve Dinner just after we set sail, Is that OK with Madam Purser?

Hi Jenny, I have the list but you haven't mentioned that I am directing the panto. All these auditions are very hard work. Gwynne

I've just discovered my own fantasy hiding in my quarters Mr LL Cool J, Lynda Loves Cool J, so you can have your elves, your mels and crowes - yuk- Cool J is all I need to get by, someone, not you slutty or you Lazy bugger take care of my grandson for a couple of days and my loyal mutt, Frankie please. If my cabins arockin don't come aknockin.

If he hasn't bounced back by tomorrow I'll delay his audition by a day or so. Gwynne

Christina, The sluts are very sorry, we have had a grand time with Me Depp and unfortunately he is no longer the man he used to be, just a shadow of his former self. We will feed him up give him plenty of TLC and hopefully he will be back to as near as normal as he could be. We had the best time with him though. Slutty Jean looks years younger, even the lazy bugger Marion moved a few times

Thanks Manda I will join at Lisbon, (later this evening hopefully when I get home from work) and I'm happy to do any job as I'm good at everything! Bighead

Hi Christina, I only require Mr Depp for tomorrow. After that he'll be helping out in the laundry. You can collect him from there. The elf is singing to himself now which is an improvement on wailing but those of you who have heard elvish songs will know it is not a great improvement. Where is Mr Security when you need him? Anne (Linda) he's not hiding out in the brothel is he? Mr Clooney and I will take dinner in my cabin tonight. Just a little more auditioning before I let him loose. Gwynne

Can I board th ship please, I've just spent the last hour reading EVERY thread and LMAO in my office. Had to close the door so my colleagues wouldn't hear me. I don't mind being a slut as I seer you are short of them. Luverly Lynne

Jenny I dont mind what I do, can you find something for me to do? Maggie