|
Well there's an excellent and easy idea.
Supposedly, posts to the Success Stories board used to be vetted before posting. (The number of looking-for posts that showed up there demonstrated that this didn't actually happen, but there ya go. I've PMed numerous people who posted their search help requests there to let them know they should post on TTF since no one could reply on Success Stories other than by PM and no one was likely to see their request.)
Posts to Living Relatives should be *pre*-moderated.
And the guidelines should be a whoooole lot more specific. That's the main thing.
I know people looking for birth parents, e.g., are anxious and eager. But they don't actually have to say the person they are looking for is their birth parent! let alone all the lurid details some feel compelled to post.
I've helped loads of people looking for, say, someone who was in the military in 1944 in a particular place. It's easy enough to read between the lines and understand the nature of the search, without all the details.
|
|
This is dreadful. I can't believe posts like that are allowed.
I've helped people in the past tracing living family, but only via PM - and posted onto the thread that I would PM details of whatever. I haven't been bothering with the living relatives board, as you can't see if anyone has already dug out the info - which as you say is so easy to find in many cases.
Don't get me wrong, I think everyone has the right to try to trace living relatives, but with some thought to their privacy. I've valued help from many people on this site and found my birth family after many years, but my mother would have been horrified to have all her details plastered all over the internet!
This board needs a serious re-think, and a moderator. Maybe posts should be checked prior to posting?
|
|
Is the site management paying any attention at all, or is the new board too much of a cash cow to care?
I just reported a post that read like this:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
subject line (full name of individual)
Hello,
I am looking for my biological Grandmother. She gave birth to my Father (name) in (year). All I know about her is that she lived in (place) for a while and maybe still does and married a (full name) in (year) - if anyone can help please do it get in touch!!
Thankyou,
(full name of poster)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, I just did two seconds searching and discovered that the biological grandmother had six children after marriage (all of whom, we will just say, are a good bit younger than me, as is the child named in the post).
And at least one of those children is A MEMBER OF THIS WEBSITE.
Now that's an interesting little problem.
The private lives of the family of a member of this website have just been put on display on the Living Relatives board.
I mean, I don't think the private lives of *anyone* should be displayed there, but I wonder how a member of this website would feel about it being their family's?
What if those children have never heard of their mother's child before marriage? Well let's just post it all on the internet where they may run across it some day.
Horrific.
The thing is that this search could have been posted simply by saying who was being searched for -- absolutely no reason to say why, or what the relationship is to the person.
THE LIVING RELATIVES BOARD NEEDS GUIDELINES AND MODERATION.
I know that none of us regular users are reporting posts gratuitously or frivolously. We are reporting posts that genuinely violate the privacy of people who have no idea their private lives are being put on display here.
But there are quite a few such reports being made all the same.
And that's because there is a real, serious problem.
footnote -- I did PM that poster to explain why I had reported her post, and why it was a terrible thing to do. I did not provide her with the information I found about the family, because I also looked up her birth and found that she is quite young, and because she is quite simply lacking in the discretion and consideration needed here. Since the person sought is her father's mother, I suggested he would be the person to proceed with it.
|
