General Chat

Hi

My son (D) has been going out with his girlfriend (L) for the past 18 months. D was very upset yesterday evening and having had a chat the following has come out:

L is just about to take her AS Levels in a months time and will then go on to do her A2s. L has the potential to go to university (she is a straight A* student) and going to Uni is her dream. Her parents told her yesterday that they will not help her financially in anyway as she is "aiming above her station" and that they are not prepared to put off their holidays etc to support her through university. In addition they are making really unpleasant remarks about her weight (she is a little overweight but nothing to worry about at her age). My son has been present when these remarks have been said at the dinner table but has not intervened at present.

Can anyone advise where I can get help for L to realise her dream for going to uni if she is still living with her parents but there is no financial support coming from them? I am assuming that any grants etc are based around parental income to supporting the university applicant.

I've advised D to continue to provide support to L re the weight issue but D is worried that L is going to develop an eating disorder etc.

Any help on where to start with University issue would be very very welcomed as I have no idea where to start.

Esta

hi esta , some people dont deserve kids, im not to sure but i wonder if she can get a bank loan, my daughter did and they didnt take the repayments back till she started work, and re eating, she has probably had years of being got at about her weight, encourage your son to comment on how good she looks , sooner she is away from her parents the better how shallow of them xx

also contact the uni, the goverment are very supportive of further education, im sure there will be away around this xx

It would also be well worth talking to her 'favourite' teacher, I am sure they will be able to help with information .If her parents won't support her they would probably be asked to sign something to that effect and she would then get the grants that others with low income would get. (I am assuming here I don't know for sure).

this also might help

Connexions Direct - HomepageOffers advice on education, careers, housing, money, health and relationships for 13-19 year olds in the UK. Includes web chat, telephone and call-back ...
www.connexions-direct.com/

OMG............Whats wrong with these people ~surely to god they should helping her not putting her down............i was always told that education is most important and without that ~well who knows.............................

Are these peeps scraed of what she might be come..................

In my eyes they are SELFISH ~they had their lives so let her have hers and if it means going to uni allwell and good.

I DO HOPE AND PRAY THAT SHE GETS WHAT SHE WANTS.

X

Hi

Thank you all for your support. I'm trying Connexions Direct at the moment to see what they suggest.

Any other suggestions would be welcome though.

Esta

YOU ASKED FOR HELP AND NOT FOR ME TO GO.................................

SO SORRY.

XXX

Well tried Connexions - it appears that Ls parents income will be included in any grant application even though her parents wouldn't help out financially - apparently that's just the way the system is??

We live in Wales so I'm going to try the Welsh Assembly pages on student finance to see if there is any information available from them.

This is 'student finance for Wales'

http://www.studentfinancewales.co.uk/portal/page?_pageid=56,1274440&_dad=portal&_schema=PORTAL

Hi Esta,

I dont often post on these boards, and unfortunately I can't offer you any guidance on how to help to find funds for your sons girlfriend............

I just wanted to say........ what a terrific lady you are, her parents don't seem at all bothered about this young lady, but here you are looking to try and help her.

What a lucky young lady she is to have someone like you and your son emotionally supporting her..........

I take my hat off to you Esta and wish all the best success in your search.


Dee x

Is it possible that there is a local charitable organisation in Wales which would help out in a situation like this ?

She could try the Learning & Skills Council (LSC). They fund 16-19 places and they might have some ideas/help/contacts.

Good luck with it!

Jill

Just been hunting around for you and found this site - worth a look - it is ............family-action.org.uk Good luck.

My parents were the same 46 years ago. I passed my 9 '0' levels at age 15 but wasn't allowed to stay on and do 'A' levels or go to university, despite my headmistress writing a letter, because my father thought it was a waste of time educating girls. Both my parents thought it was time I was paying my keep and they took half my net wages for my board. I never ever forgave them for taking away my self confidence and my promising future.

You are a lovely lady for trying to help and I would say she should explore every avenue before giving up. Apparently many parents do not provide the financial help 'assessed'.

Sources of funding help suggested on other sites are a college welfare officer or an adviser in a student union. There is an Access to Learning hardship fund mentioned.

Also www.moneyfacts.co.uk give details of student accounts with interest free overdrafts.

Could she manage a part time job while she is doing her course?

I do hope that with your and your son's support and help she finds a way.

Best wishes and let us know.

Esta,

Try contacting local solicitors offices. Often there are bequests left as trust funds, for help in the education of young people of the town. I know of several of these in my town, some donating just a few hundred and others sometimes several thousand for buying a computer or costly text books.

Two of the local spinster teachers left bequests some years ago and a relative of mine left a large sum, and I am talking large, with the interest paid out in grants for the further education of young people of the town. (He had little education himself, but saw the value of it.)

Worth a try.

Elisabeth

Not sure about Wales, but my daughter went to university in England 5 years ago and, as there were no more grants, student loans were available that don't need to be paid back until you've gat a decent job when you graduate. (And the interest rate is really low.) My daughter has only just started paying hers back.

My daughter had a friend who came from a family with no money so her loan was the maximum £4000 a year, (probably increased by now) paid out termly. This covered her accommodation and almost all the tuition fees; a couple of part time jobs paid for food, drink and partying and she survived very nicely and got a good degree.

When your son's girlfriend applies for uni all the relevant forms will be sent to her so she needs to fill them in and loans should be arranged.

Good luck to her!

We are in Wales and all funding goes through www.studentfinancewales.co.uk.

As I understand it from when my daughter applied, grants are related to the parents income, but loans are available for tuition fees and living expenses, but they are repayable when the student startsearning.

Hope that helps and Good Luck

Janet

There are commercial companies that give bursaries to uni students - also some charities do it. Uni's have hardship Funds as well. L should approach her 6th Form tutor/Head of 6th Form for help and advice on these.

Thank you all for your replies - at least now I have some positives I can give her to raise her spirits.

Esta

Esta - OH has just got home (long time 6th form tutor) says L should check bursaries with the Uni itself as they have some and many don't get taken up as no one seems to know about them.
Hope she does well & good luck.