General Chat

We share a computer and I would never dream of checking to see what he has on his side which is all in Portuguese but I would have no problem reading. Also, I don't think I would like it if he read mine, there is nothing to hide and I never log out of my email addresses.

The reason I am asking is that a few months back a second cousin made contact through a message I left on a forum in 2002, since then I have discovered all the information I was after. My interest been my late Grandfather's direct line and none of his brothers and sisters. Naturally I was very happy to hear from this second cousin who needed information which I happily supplied, we have not finished with linking up the family and I have more to send to her but at the moment she is away on holiday visiting her children and Grandchildren. D....gave my email address to another second cousin, ( The three of us share the same Great Grandfather ) M....who emailed me. Not sure if she did so herself or someone did it for her as she is in her eighties and the only surviving member of her immediate family. She knew my late Grandfather, I never met him as he died before I was born. It took nearly two weeks to finish the email as I had a lot of information to pass on especially family names, I decided to send a copy of the email to D...as in my previous correspondence with her I had not given so much detail. Also, I attached a copy of our Great grandfather's Death Notice and sent it to M...but not to D..knowing that she was away I was waiting for her to return home sometime in June. I received an email with a couple of lines from D's..husband saying that the death notice was not attached to her copy of the email I had sent to M...and would I send a copy to keep in the family records. I really hope I am making sense. I know very well that I did not send a copy to D... as the whole idea was to share the information in the email some of which is of a sensitive nature but relevant to our family history.

The question is am I been petty in been peeved by the idea of D's.. husband opening email from me addressed to her.

I have to run and make my Daniel's dinner to take as he works the late shift today. be back later.



Lindy xx

We don't share a computer but no unless asked I would not read my OH's e mails and would not expect him to read mine, even though we both could as we both have access to each others PCs.

Neither do I open his ordinary mail. We have friends where the wife always opens her husbands letters. I would hate that and see it as an invasion of privacy, even though neither of us have anything to hide and usually pass letter to the other to read.

Ann
glos

Four of us live in our house and share the computer. None of would read anothers emails. We have pass words to log into hotmail but not to log into the computer.

Yes, we both read each others e-mails, and open each others post. We both know each others passwords for everything, although nobody else knows these. We also use each others bank accounts etc. Neither of us has anything to hide and we trust each other implicitly. An example is that the online supermarket is set up as his credit card and in his name, but it is me who does the online shopping while he is at work, using his card. It is all with each others permission of course.

Dianne xx

I have access to my OHs emails as I know his password!! He doesn't know my hotmail or gmail passwords, and if he did he would only forget them. lol
Most of my emails come into Outlook, which he could look at, but as this computer locks down after a few minutes and he doesn't know the password to get in again he can't see those either.
I have nothing to hide, just a secure computer. I do read his emails, but I don't open them until he has and never open his post.
I know quite a few people who share email addresses, but I prefer to have my own.

Rosalind

Only when invited to, or he calls asking me to check something in his email or forward it as he can't get to a computer. I get him to do the same niether of us have anything to hide, I think though this comes down to a lot of people of my generation being fully aware, email, chat rooms and facebook are anything but private.

Every relationships different, maybe she asked him to keep an eye on her email and respond to anything he thought was important. Now with contacts with shared ancestry some are fab, but other are so fleeting if you have to make the most of them while they are in contact with you.

Never, not unless he specifically asked me to, same with snail mail.... I have to when he was away a lot, but knew which ones to open (bills!!) and which ones to leave until he got home or I next spoke to him.

Recently, he has needed to access all the household accounts... I always did that, even if the bills are in his name, so all the internet bill paying/bank statements are passworded on my pc..... I also gave him permission to access my GR account so that he could leave updates whilst I was ill...... but all this is with permission.

If he opened mine, or I opened his, without permission, then we would be very upset!! And if he answered an e-mail addressed to me in that way, I'd be livid with him!! Unless I'd popped my clogs... but then he'd say so!!

Love

Daff xxxxx

I don't think it has anything to do with trust or not having anything to hide, we trust each other implicitly and neither have anything to hide, but we are all entitled to a little bit of privacy in our lives. I always get to open the letters addressed to both of us, but that is mainly because my OH never writes a letter and I write loads. He reads most of the answers but half the time can't be bothered.

Afternoon Ladies,

I have never opened my OH's "snail mail" and would never dream of doing so. We also do not have passwords to log on to the computer and I never log out of hotmail or yahoo as it is just the two of us that use this computer, the boys have their own. It is not a question of trust as my OH set up my email accounts and I have never changed the passwords so he can check if he wanted to but I don't believe he does. We do pass on mails to one another if we think it would be of interest to each other. Also, have access to each other's bank accounts and I use his credit card for online shopping. It's the invasion of one's privacy that gets me and yes I would show the email should he want to read it but do not open any of mine without my permission.

Not all relationships are the same and we don't all think alike, how boring life would be if we did.

Thank you all for your answers.

Lindy ;)))))))

Do you know Lindy, I hadn't ever thought about it until you said.......he has his laptop and I have mine, and no, I have never bothered........

sally

We've just never thought about NOT sharing everything: emails, post, bank account, credit card(s), investments, etc.

Sally,

I never even thought about it either until my email addressed to one person was opened by another. I just felt a bit peeved about it and it got me thinking.

Brian,

We share everything as well, including saliva but there is that little bit of space around me that is my space and I need it.

Lindy ;)))

Different strokes for different folks Island.

I am very nosey about what goes on outside but not interested in reading my OH's emails. My son is forever telling me not to peep out the window and I reply that I am not peeping but looking.

Lindy ;)))))))))))))))

Nowt to do with nosiness Island.

Everything to do with happy marriage, and being totally comfortable with each other.

Dianne xx

Only if I call him over to my computer, or he calls me over to his do we look at each others mail.

Same as snail mail, I never open his letters, and he never opens mine.

If it is addressed to both of us, whoever is there when postman comes opens them.

Mo

We both have different e-mails and dont usually look at each others
But,if he or I am away,then the other one does check
Just in case its important and needs an instant answer
We then can ask each other by phone what the answer is to be sent,or not ,as the case may be
Does that make sense ?

No Island, I didn't say you or others were uncomfortable with your partners, only that we are very comfortable and confident in each other.

However - My husband and I both feel that you are saying that we are nosy. Not a good move.

I have just asked his opinion on this and he said that if we wanted to keep anything private from each other then we shouldn't have got married. It's not a good basis for a marriage. Marriage is about friendship and trust, and when we read anything of each others we know for a fact that we are not going to be reading something we shouldn't as there's nothing going on that shouldn't be.

He said that he doesn't feel his privacy is invaded in any way and that he has nothing to hide from me, neither have I from him.

Your marriage is your business and I wouldn't presume to query how you run it and would not accuse you of being secretive because you don't share, so don't accuse us of being nosy because we do share.

Comprendez??

et tu Island.

Perhaps you are the one with the requirement of a good dictionary, if you don't understand the meaning of et tu.

Please understand the meaning of this:-

Goodbye.

My OH cant use a computer, and he wont open mail to himself or me so I have to do it all. I sort out the bank accounts and the bills but we do discuss what money we will spend and if we can afford what either of us wants. He can be over generous so its as well there is some control.