General Chat

Whatever the rights and wrongs - there seems to be an increasing number of people looking for their "biological" parents on these Boards

I think it would be a good idea if every school child of say 14 / 15 was sent home for the summer holidays with one of those realistic dolls that has to be cared for 24/7 lol the crying ones... just give pause for thought that when you have a baby it curtails freedom.

You know, actually, Rose, I wouldn't mind having a go with one of those fake "babies" myself. I know one or two people with small children and one of my cousins has a small baby and another on the way but I don't really see them regularly so I'm always really conscious of the fact that I'm not as used to handling babies as I would like to be. (My sister's a nursery nurse and a lot of her friends have babies and toddlers so she's very hands-on but I feel a bit clueless!)

So I'd actually like to try one out, just to get used to handling a small child.

My daughter was married and divorced with no children when she met her present partner, they went on to have 3 children, the eldest is now 21. So all three children were illigitimate, her partner was also divorced when they started going together. they married in 2003, 15 years after they first started going together., they have always stayed together and are very happy in the relationship. None of the boys, to my knowledge has felt any stigma from being born out of wedlock. None of them are christened though.

Ann
glos

I recorded a programme the other day from bbc3 called My Big Decision, Pregnancy, about two girls who were determined to have babies young. One was 13 and the other 16, and it was very interesting seeing their journey as they met with other young girls who already had babies and so on. It made them rethink and decide to wait until they had established careers etc. Some of the girls they met tried to deter them from doing it, and I am sure one who is still living at home with her baby and mother, said the parents have to pay for them if they are under 16, and there is no benefit paid.
I think the £200 is a maternity grant to get the necessities and is payable to all pregnant women.

I remember when I was pregnant at 25 with my daughter, who I later lost, my Dad said I had sullied the family name, altho I was living with her father at the time and she was planned. Since doing the family tree, I found out that one of his father's sisters had become pregnant fairly young, 17 I think, and was cast out of the family, according to an elderly cousin who tells me about the family history. I understand she did return to the village to show her fiance later on where she was born but I can't find out anything about her, I feel so sad for her. She was working with an older sister at a big house and was under nursery maid or something, I often wonder if she was led astray by her boss or another servant, and then left high and dry, poor girl. Another cousin of mine, my Dad's favourite niece had got pregnat before getting married, and her partner was married when they met, yet my Dad had conveniently forgotten about that when he had a go at me lol
Oh well, when I went on to have my son, and had no husband, my father said nothing, he was over the moon with my son and they were very close, he even went as far as visiting us in the maternity wing of the hospital, and my Dad hated hospitals with a passion so it was a big thing for him to come and see us. He was so excited to see his grandson.

I do think a lot of parents should be more aware of what their children are up to and who they are with, and should instill in their daughters the need to use contraception at all times, even the first time. The fact you can't get pregnant the first time, is a myth!


Lizx

Unfortunately, we have crossed the line whereby the State moves from avoiding hardship to the point where it supports an alternative lifestyle.

A school-leaver with no qualifications has a choice between taking an unskilled job in a shop or factory (if they can get one in the present economic climate) for about £6 and hour, or receiving unemployment benefit or jobseekers allowance(what's that, about £50 a week?), or getting pregnant, no need to work, and being given her own flat, free this, that and everything else which would require a job paying £600 a week to give the same standard of living.

There's an awfully big incentive to go down the latter route.

BBC 3 Tonight...8.30pm... Monday 20th.

Under age and Pregnant

School girls tell how pregnancy has affected their lives.

My great grandmother had an illegitimate son in 1866, before she married my great grandad,six years later. Her parents brought the boy up, and when she did marry, they kept him, as they loved him so much.

One of the Pastors in our Church never turn these children away to dedicate them.

As was said in the old film 'Blossoms in the Dust' there are no illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents.

Mo