General Chat

Have you ever had or known friends have one ..

did it end in tears or did as some do end in harmony.

Could you in love have and an affair with a married person

Could you as single in love have a relationship with a married person

A debate please not an arguement

ooh that's a brave one Uzzi :)

there is also the 'grey area' of having a relationship with someone who whilst not legally married is nevertheless in a 'relationship with someone.....

or . of course, being a relationship and having an affair with someone else who is also in a relationship....

Rose I always have tried to be brave :-)

I will be brave enough to add that I have been in that grey area and am now married to the guy I ran off with !

Good for you :))

The closest i have come was being in love with someone who was seperated but not divorced at that time.

EDIT to add that the "good for you", was response to your saying you try to be brave lol...you added before I did ;))

It is too unlikely that I am ever going to be in the position to worry about it now lol...

but i wouldn't now knowingly have an affair with a married man , nor one in a relationship that was still 'current' ...though that is not always easy to determine!

xx

I don't tend to make judgements about these things and would never rule anything out and have done lots of things that weren't very wise in the past:)

I've known several couples who have had long and happy relationships or marriages who met while one or both of them was in a marriage or relationship. Sometimes enduring true love can come from less savory beginnings.

But then you get serial adulterers who just want what they haven't got or more than have got. Just the same you get single people who prefer relationships with attached people for various reasons. The people who are in a relationship are the ones with the responsibility to their partner, not the third person but, having said that, it doesn't always make the third person look two special:)

I think each story is different and when you know all the facts of a story it can often be very easy to understand how things happen.

My partner in business was a lady's man and had quite a number of affairs. I flatly refused to give him an alibi, even though he said, "I thought we were mates".

Of course his wife found out in the end and divorced him and then he was
full of self-pity because he had to buy her out to keep the house for him and his girl friend to live in.

He blamed me for the break-up and the business arrangement ended. I still think I was right.

Yeah. My hubby did with my mate.

She was welcome to him lol!!

My best friend Died after her hubby had an affair with his single secretary.She just could not accept the fact that he had done that.I had 3 years of her going off the rails and when she died suddenly had to deal with her kids.It is too complicated to go into ....but it was hell.Am still picking up the pieces with her daughter 10 years down the road.

I can see things from a different angle than my friend.It happens sometimes .I can see that.But sadly for my friend it ended in her death.
People deal and cope in different ways.

I think the main thing for me, in any kind of relationship, is honesty...first and last.... if you have that, then you can reach a decision based on it, not on half truths, assumption or hope or wishful thinking....

ouch... time to go lol .....

Honesty is the better of things
one day I may relate my thoughts

Its not worth it, someone always gets hurt and its usually the partner of the married person.
My friends husband had an affair and everyone knew about it but my friend, and its such a dilemma weather to tell, but in the end she got a phone call from the partner of woman he was having an affair with, and the marriage was over for my friend and her husband, but the woman and her husband are still happily married today.

OMG..what a debate...I have known people who have had their lives shattered by an affair and I have known people who have had a better life once they have moved on from an adultress life whether they were the hurt party or the guilty party.
All I can say is that Uggers must be a very old man as he appears to have a very wise head on his shoulders.

i dont agree with affairs
i think once a cheater always a cheater
why get married if your not totally committed
to making that marriage work

and yes i have known friends of ours have affairs
and it always ends in tears

so dont ask me to lie for you of you do because i wont

lol at HB saying Uggers is old ;) but he is very wise :))

Is he not Rosie lol
I see someone like Dumbledore...am I wrong.

I would never contemplate an affair with a married man - even before my ex ran off with my 'mate' LOL
Leopards don't change their spots - once a filanderer.........
(Vods, you & I have a lot in common!!!)

What really peed me off, was finding out that, when he left her, (she was having an extra marital - but my ex had had a few whilst married to her - I met them all!) she bled him for thousands, leaving him with no money for his (now adult) children!

ROFL HB... :))) I know Uggers likes Harry Potter...but not entirely sure I would liken him to Dumbledore ;)

Behind every 'affair' is a story - usually with 2 sides - so I don't like to make sweeping judgements. Yes, I've had a relationship with a married man (separated) but it didn't last long because he basically wanted a shoulder to cry on.