General Chat

Im pmsl at Dumbledore :-) I think he should change his name now :-)

Budgie sittning both sides of the fence ?

Do tell

Joy I disagree with once a cheater always a cheater.

uzzi hun
Ive seen it time and time again
its just my opinion

and who gets the hurt every time
the kids it makes me wanna PUKE

I was never tempted, nor did I ever consider it. Each case has it's own merits, I suppose, but I could never see the point in messing up my own life or that of others, just to get what I want, and from what I have seen of others, there is always heartbreak somewhere - and the children always suffer.

Haven't read all posts...( slapped wrists but sometimes a good thing )

Ideally I would say no...tis all wrong etc etc...but who knows what one would do if the situation arises. Love, infatuation is a funny thing...a persons mind goes by what they feel at the moment...None of us is as strong as we think......( Cept me of course cos I think Love is a load of rubbish :-)))......I will discuss my reasons if anyone is really interested but not tonight Lol

Having said all this.....no-one can tell another that they are 'wrong'....you don't know until you are faced with the 'problem'...we all hope that we will do the 'right' thing....but will we in the end make excuses?....who knows. We like to think perfectly....but none of us are.

Edited after a bit of a read......Serial cheaters are a different subject......one offs is what I am on about.


Edited yet again :-))))

I have been tempted many a time...not seen anyone RICH! enough to tempt me away from what I already have.......Misery ( with ones partner, meaning boredom ) or Richness!?....now let me see lol, what would we all rather have? I know what my answer is :-))))))

( no I am not saying I am stinking Rich....just not stinking poor either :-)))

As it's been said - each story is different. I know one couple who were unhappy in their marriages, had an affair, were caught out and left their spouses. Now divorced and married to each other they are happier than they've ever been and still going strong after 10 years. However, I have a close family member who did the same. She left behind a broken-hearted man and 3 children who have never forgiven her. She is married to this man but her children - now adults - will have nothing to do with him and have little time for her and she has 3 beautiful grandchildren she rarely sees. It's a high price to pay and she now suffers from depression and other illnesses and is so unhappy it breaks my heart to see her.

Sue xx

Hmmm! Suemaid...I have to admit that I am talking about children who stay with the mother.

To be honest it is all a can of worms. What I am trying to say is that we don't know and shouldn't really judge other people. It is bad enough trying to sort out our own minds when we have relationship problems, because of the diversity and controversy. To judge others is one big mess. We 'think' we know what we would do, but really, we haven't a clue until it happens to us and there are so may permutations.

May I just say Uzzi.....This is a very interesting subject and I do so hope that you have many many posts. The subject has a depth that can have many answers, all being justifiably valid. I hope that readers are not put off by other answers.....In my opinion, we all have something to say on the subject, depending on our view of the moment....no-one is wrong unless deliberately evil.

It's a complex subject, Susanwithnumbers, and one where there is no right or wrong answer. The close relative I talked about may forever regret the course she took and she has an OH who is well aware that she is not happy. However she wasn't happy before with her first OH so did she do the right or wrong thing? I can't answer that - only to say that the repercussions spread far and wide.

Sue xx

I have to admit that I have known in my life a few people who are wonderfully happy and have had a long marriage, without any 'problems'. These people have my utmost respect and envy.

There are a few on these boards too. Funnily enough most of my friends over the years have been the type who have a wonderful relationship right from the beginning. I often wonder if it is perhaps me :-))) ( of course it is lol )

I am not unhappy, just cynical and accepting of my lot in life because of my own way of thinking, which at this stage in life cannot be changed.

I too have known in my life a few people who are wonderfully happy and have had a long marriage, without any 'problems'.
I have also seen many couples who act as a happily married couple whilst in public, but row constantly & are both very unhappy people. Their children, who witness this every day of their lives, are torn between the 2, or forced to take sides.
Who knows what goes on behind closed doors? Unless you are actually there you do not know the ‘true’ story.

I am one of the lucky ones with a happy marriage, but I think if a relationship is faltering and temptation comes along, it would be more honest to finish the relationship you are in before starting another.

Maybe serial cheaters enjoy the thrill of avoiding being caught out................once the secret is out, the affair usually ends abruptly

I can see two sides

Although I wasn't married I was in a relationship (unhappily ) when I had an affair with a customer. I did end the relationship before I was found out and am now married to the customer. Yes maybe I should have ended the relationship 1st but there was complications as I was holding the licence on the pub.

On the otherhand my mother had several affairs when I was a child which although didn't ruin my childhood didn't actually help it. I think apart from hurting my Dad she also hurt herself as Dad eventually ( when we were old enough ) slung her out and divorced her. No doubt there were other people hurt also in her thoughtlessness as I don't think she had any intention of leaving Dad at the time.

1) .....About eight years ago a friend of ours had an affair and left her husband for another man. We refused to take sides as we were good friends with both of them, as a result neither wanted anything to do with us. No skin off my nose! A couple of months ago P. called OH at work and asked him to meet her in the parking lot, lol..sounds sinister but it was not. Her family have launched a new wine and she wanted to give him a case without having to lug it into his office. Apparently, she is happier now, even though her children are in therapy, and has done something with her life.

Since then he has seen her a couple of times and he thinks she wants to resume our old friendship but does not know how. I am still the same person I was eight years ago and she knows where we live even if we have moved house since then.

Her previous OH has also done very well and is now the M.D. of a prestigious company, after fighting a custody battle to get their young son which he won, only to hand the boy back a few years down the line because his new partner did not want him.

2)....I don't have the temperament to have an affair as my conscious would weigh heavily on me and give me sleepless nights, nor would I want to hurt the one I love.

3...As a single person I would not knowingly have a relationship with a married man and would like to believe that I would break it off immediately, but I would have to be in that position to give an honest answer.

Lindy ;)))))))

Well ,a word of advice for any men 'playing away'...hide the superglue lol

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1204038/A-sticky-end-Scorned-women-exact-painful-revenge-cheating-husband-superglue.html

You can always look at the menu but you don,t have to eat.the trouble is some people look at and eat from too many menu,s and get indegestion,My ex being one of them.**M**.

They will get more than indegestion!!

I have never cheated but condone nobody who have, life's too short to be miserable with someone you don't want to be with

agrees with kitty
end the relation ship you are not happy with
then move on
affairs are soul destroying for all concerned
but mostly for the kids

but i think if people spent as much time
with there noses in there own beds
a lot of marriages would benefit