General Chat

Anyone else had the problem? Especially frustrating when you get an initial "yes we have a connection" post......then zilch!

I think it is a problem a lot of people have had. Maybe give it a couple of weeks in case the person is off on a long winter holiday then send a 'catch up' e mail. As you have already had contact it is hard to know why they shouldn't come back to you unless, as I said, they are on holiday, or they may be ill, have a family crisis etc etc.

I got one the other week,it was a reply to one I sent 3 yr ago lol

In a few cases, I can only assume;
1. The GR member in question has "shuffled off this mortal coil"
2. Is terminally rude
3. I'm using the wrong soap?

I ALWAYS respond within 24 hrs!!

Patrick,

lapsed members details are still on here though they are not

people change email addresses after having left the site so Gr can't inform them they have a message

some are not as keen to finish their trees as others

some don't want info from others or to share it, they want to do it all themself for their own amusement only

some are ill. some have died

some just do have other things to do

any or all of the above may apply :)

Patrick, I didn't respond to people for months because I was seriously ill.

My cousin didn't respond because she couldn't.... at 37 years old she had died of breast cancer. It took ages to delete her main account, although if I search her name she has two other accounts on here with just a handfull of people on her tree.

And Rose has just highlighted other reasons.

I find your tone rude and accusatory, but would never have dreamed of saying so had you not put this thread up.

I can, like you, only assume a lot of things...... that you are fit and well, and are ABLE to respond within 24 hours.

How very fortunate you are.

Daff

Oh Daff, how sad. I am so sorry.X

Patrick, there are so many reasons why they may not answer.
Not last year but the year before, I landed up in hospital for 7 weeks....
That is just me, how many others have a very good reason for being late answering?
Deanna X

Patrick, like Daff, I have had bad health, and for the last two years have spent as much time in hospital as I have at home. I go at the drop of a hat, with no pre-warning.
At the time of leaving home, I may be on a thread, or have made an enquiry, but have to leave them as they are.
When I do get back home, usually after about 6/7 days, I look at both, and if a reply is needed, I give one.
Please do not generalise. All peoples circumstances are different.
Julia in Derbyshire

Sorry to inform you Patrick, but definitely the wrong soap. Maybe a little Listerine may help as well.

Possibly a teaspoon of honey may do the trick, you know the old saying, more flies with honey than vinegar?

You judge too harshly, most people on her are lovely and helpful, have not yet come across anyone terminally rude, until now.

If people do not answer, they either cannot or do not want to, that is their privilege, they pay their money like everyone else does.

Far too, too many of these threads lately. You want help, ask on one of the boards, great people able to help as well.

Gail

Apologies to those I have offended. I must agree that the vast majority of folk on GR are extremely courteous & helpful. I'm certainly not rude by nature ........... just impatient I guess!!

I understand it can be frustrating, someone may just have that bit of illusive information that you need for your research.

I also have had unanswered mail I have sent, it is not a problem as I had information to give. Some I have not bothered to answer due to the shear rudeness of the email. If someone just wants to look at my tree, I want to know why first, usually do not get a reply.

Have made some great connections on here and other sites, swap certificates and photos. It is much more fun working with another distant family member doing research and sharing certificates. Today I ordered a marriage cert, distant cousin ordered a birth cert for the same person, so also cuts the costs.

It has taken many connections and disconnections to get to the point I am now. Plus loads of help on GR.

Be patient and keep trying, or ask for help, plenty of willing people to help you search.

Gail

Hi Gail,

Thanks for this. Despite my little rant above, I have always been very courteous when E-mailing other GR members.
(as they have with me!). Sadly though, in one particular case, where I clearly have a 100% match with 1 other member - after 6mths of E-mailing him, I think it's time to admit defeat!!

Patrick

Yes i have had the same problem.There have been at least 4 people i have contacted with no response at all, which is really annoying.
Sylvia

From my point of view, I find that a lot depends on what I am researching at the time. If I get a message from someone whose connection is 'topical' as if to say, I respond straight away. Second priority if the response requires little research on my part, then again a fairly quick reply.

On the other hand, if the query requires some research on my part, then it may take a bit longer. In these cases I usually try to get back within a month.

You also need to recognise that some members are not as keen as you might be regarding their family tree and have other more important things in their life to worry about.

And to add to that, just done a quick check on my Sent Messages list

Approx 40 messages sent to members over a month ago, and back to 6 months ago have not been opened.

Well maybe I a sad nerd, who has only fairly recently left behind the standard practices of business life, but I personally check my E-mail every day. Whatever I have had from GR, as a minimum I would always give the other person at least a holding response within 24hrs?!

Ahh Patrick, an ex business life! Now I understand! One myself, and had to retire early due to health. So now you are doing your tree after working for decades and feel that it should run like your business. I also had a problem with this for a while.

At least I can still utilise all I learnt over the years working in an office and every piece of information I have is recorded and in folders and in alphabetical order.

It does take time to adjust and genealogy is such a great hobby and loads of fun. Just learn that it is a hobby and enjoy, savour every bit of information as you get it. I have been doing this now for a number of years and still get excited when a new certificate arrives, with that little bit of new information.

I made errors when I started due to trying to rush things, this can be costly with certificates. Can I suggest that you make lists of what you need, eg; certificates, folders and organisation of materials, family tree software and so on. How you are going to file everything and in what order.

Take your time, chill out and enjoy your new hobby.

Gail

Like you Patrick I check my e mails/messages every day & reply usually wtithin 24 hours.
To be fair, it´s not just Genes members who have this problem.
Over the past month I have sent messages to about 6 potential contacts on Ancestry & had no response.
At least with Ancestry you can check the person´s details to see how recently they logged in. If it´s over 6 months. I don´t bother to contact them.
Marion

Marion,

Ahhh.....now the Ancestry practice sounds like an EXCELLENT idea. Clearly if you can "see" that someone else's account has been "dormant" for say 6 mths, then it almost certainly isn't worth bothering. If there is a moderator watching this thread please note!!!!!

Regards

Patrick

That's possibly a bit short sited don't you think? I don't log onto ancestry that often but I get a notification when I am contacted and then I log in to see it?