General Chat

this is a cruel world we live in .. when i was a kid about 8 i think .. i would go out in the morning and not come home till hungry .. i had loads of friends and fun , kids of today use internet and computer games and dont really want to go out , so when the time comes for them to face the real world , us as parents are scared for them , its our own fault ,, pedos child snatchers rapists have always been here , we as parents have just never had to worry about them till now . xx

I know Joyous,,hell get there though .theres plenty of talk about parents never knowing hwere or what their kids are up to and they should act more responsible,well he is,,,,shes only 10 ,,,,,couple more years and she'll be going places like clothes shops with mates or cinema.

i dread him seeing the news kay.incase he sees bad stuff.then he says i.ll just ring and check shes ok ......

Ahhhhh,
at 10 its little steps till parents is comfortable with letting them have a little freedom,,,,just trust they tell you truth of where they are,know their limits of what is allowed.

Shes only ten yet, time will come when he'll fel he can stretch the elastic a bit,as long as he dont overbear and make her less confident that she cant function without him by her side,,,,,,

mine were on short laggy bands,,,,:}}}}}}}}}

WELL SAID JANEY.ITS LIKE AN EXTRA SENSE.XX

One of the big things a girl becoming a woman needs to learn and never forget is: trust your instincts.

If you are in a situation you don't like, leave. If someone suggests something you don't want to do, say no and don't do it. In either case, ask for help if you need it.

Don't worry about hurting someone's feelings, or about looking foolish.

Protecting yourself is the most important thing. Hurting someone's feelings, even if that does happen, is better than ending up hurt or worse. Looking foolish is temporary, even if that does happen, and it's better than finding yourself in a situation you can't get out of or doing something that is going to cause you real harm.

If you're uncomfortable, there is probably good reason. Something is happening, or someone is asking you to do something, that may not end well. Don't go along and wait to find out. Look out for yourself!

Bertett,
She doesn't have a problem with it - She knows my reasons. It's not her I don't trust thats the thing - It's other people :-)
I know she isn't allowed to do as much as some of her friends but I try to encourage friendships with those children who know have parents with the same kind of views as us.

Pat

Thing is Gypsy you have to put your trust in them. I should know I had 5 kids myself and as I said we are rearing our grandson and believe me that's not easy, but if you explain why you have made your decision I am sure she will be fine

I must be really hard on my kids i think :-)
My eldest is almost 13, She is allowed to walk home from school (about 20 mins walk), But only if she has friends to walk with - If not she is collected by me or her dad.
She is not allowed to go out and about on her own at all. If she wants to go shopping with friends, She is dropped at shopping centre and then picked up after. I wouldn't let her get on the bus alone - My husbands a bus driver and sees too much!

Pat

we have a 16yr old that lives with us started to give him independance when he went to senior school bought him mobile for emergencies laid down the rules of life and hoped for the best .Luckily he and us have done ok at moment he's practicing for music exam heplays the organ and is on grade 7.Must admit he's turning out ok.

Bertett

she walks to school already as its just round the corner.even now when its time for her bed he says nahhhhhhhh she can stay up ...i hate her being up there on her own.....groans......
ive shown him everything here now i left him to go chew on it.so fingers crossed.thanks for all the advice its helped [i hope]xxx

Havent things changed ......I walked to school alone from the first day!!! and took my little sisters with me as the time came round....we would spend alday of with our mates and jumping in ditches and riding our bikes!!!

Now days we have to worry about almost everything and everyone!!

The other thing I did was taught my kids to speak to people ONLY in shops who served people as I believe we cant trust police nowdays either its to easy to get hold of look alike uniforms!!!...same with any service like that now and how is a child to know which is real and which isnt

My son was allowed to go to the local park before he was 10 with friends, didn't realize I could see him from the back bedroom windows; he walked to his local Junior when I judged he was old enough to ... I'd watch him from my bedroom window and then he'd wave to me as he entered the path leading to the playground.

When he was 10 I felt I should let him go to the local shops and aged 11 I had to let him venture a little further afield.

He was in the Scouts, responsible and quite mature for his age. I'd phone his mobile or he would phone me.

xxx Shimms xxx

Just trying to think what I was doing (or allowed to do) when I was 11/12/13 . . .

I went shopping in my home town at the weekends sometimes, or I'd meet my friends from school in town and we'd go round the shops together. Every now and then we went to Blackburn on the train (which was about 20 minutes' journey) and look round the shops for a few hours. Maybe she could do something like that now and then, with friends of hers that her dad knows (or knows the parents of)?

I didn't have a mobile phone then, but this was 1995-1997 so not many people my age did have one.

Funny thing, but Rose's post reminded me how much more daring my friends got re. swearing in front of each other once we got to secondary school. They wouldn't have dared earlier in the year when we were still at primary school (where our parents knew all the teachers) but, come the autumn, a few miles from our home town with new teachers - out of the group of four that I was part of, all but one of us was an eldest child so our parents had no idea which teacher was which or even what they looked like . . . and did my friends change!

My girl is 11 & is going to big school in sept. A good half hour to 3/4 hour walk.

She is allowed to go down to the local shop & back on her own.(2 min walk)

We are lucky as we have a green outside our house with houses on three sides. If she plays out she can play out there, But I wont have her hanging round the streets with friends at this stage.

Shes a sensible girl & I trust her, but I dont trust other people not to bring harm to her. Shes still a child and still looks like one.

This summer I'll be giving her a bit of slack.

I'll be sending her to town (20 min walk away) to go on mini errands :o)) (she cant wait LOL )
Maybe her friends will go with her if her mum allows her that is.

As for starting secondary school. They all go in at the deep end at first.

Daughter is familier with the school as her brother will be in yr 11 next sept. She knows the route but still worries that she wont find her way round the school itself & she'll get detention.

Put things into perspective it will be the whole of yr 7 who wont know where they are going. & within 2 weeks she will know the school like the back of her hand. :o))

This is true, as her bro had the same fears when he started :o))

I would also advise that your grandaughter walk to the school with an adult at first (during the summer hols) to learn the route.(and roughly the time it takes to get there) then for her to go either alone or with a friend also going to the same school. Let her take a cheap mobile to ring you when she gets there before she heads back.(and you can keep in touch too)

when she starts big school, independance comes part of the parcel with the often long walk there. Everything will follow at its own pace.

Regarding community police speaking to the yr 6 kids. In our school, and indeed area. The kids go to an event called Crucial Crew. This involves police etc and they take the kids through various scenarios. This covers safety, strangers and drugs.

Its worth checking with your schools to see if they offer the same advice..

hi kemp.sone got her a phone but shes not always got it with her .but its a great idea and worth 12 pounds for her safety.will tell him .xx

OMG......if only they came with an instruction book!!

At 11 ......she should /could have a mobile phone which may set parents minds at rest some what ...
How does she get to school and home again ..as she could be given a time to get home by and if she doesnt she is collected again the next day ...each time allowning her to judge whats right and wrong ...

Now a little side line
There are companies that trace mobile phones google them

What you do is sign up and add your mobile numbers to that site and they keep tack of where the phone is !!!! now it does cost last time I looked was £12.00 a year and you do have to send a text from that site to the phone and accept that the phone will be traced....when mum /dad wants to know where child is they go to site and sign in and add number it is ment to trace the phone wothin 100meters

thanks for all this girls .dizzi i love your idea.
ann you are so right.hes a single dad and worrys .my eldest sons just the same.niether have smacked them as they say if you have to smack to get your point across your failing.[ouch...i failed bad then lol]
as did my mom and grandparents lol.
he sees bad stuff on tv then spends ages worrying about it.in saying this niether girls have had bad accidents in there care and you can take them anywhere.but they both need to lighten up a bit i think.xxx

Lots of good advice here Joy and I am sure she will eventually cope, but will Dad? It seems it is more him who has to come to terms with the fact that his baby girl is growing up and will become independent of him soon.

HOW ABOUT ASKING THEIR SCHOOL IF THEY COULD GET
THE COMMUNITY POLICE TO GIVE A INFORMAL AFTER
SCHOOL CHAT
MAY BE HELPFULL