General Chat

LOL got this in a email'
the picture that came withit is a black n white 5 or 6 year girls face looking a bit pensive........

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake,
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and
smacked him one

Like his mother used to do.
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I love a good poem, don't you?!?!




author unknown..

Bob

RR and contributors - you are all *stars*

Just catching up on threads as have been grand-daughter sitting oop north!

What happened to Harry
And the gal he hoped to marry?

His heart cloven
He turned his attentions
To the baker's oven

And, out of the dregs
Of his life, Wor Hal
Begot his own firm .....Greggs

brilliant, made me chuckle, thank you all

Enjoyed your ending Rose

...my cursor is doing same thing :O(.....so i'll say good night
xxx

Thanks to all that kept this moving along :))

sorry having trouble posting tonight, I can't always get my cursor to click in :( xx

I loved it, thank you!! Everyone

Love Daff xxxx

Brilliant RR I really enjoyed it all

Wendy x

The vicar opened up the book
and a swig of holy water took
( twas really the communion wine
but being white it looked just fine)
"Tom if i find owt I didn't oughta
you'll never wed my Dotty daughter"

The records show that Harry lied
twas Tim whose Mrs was inside
and Harry caught out with the proof
confessed, "Alright it is the truth,
I wanted Dot here for my wife
I've watched her now for half my life
and see she has a way with money
a way with bees and bottling honey
a comely lass, of pulchritude
and eyes that get one in the mood
But if my wife she cannot be
I'll take her honey for my tea".
So saying Harry did retreat
to spread some honey on his meat
a change from eating tins of spam
he honey glazed a joint of ham
and made his fortune selling same
in plastic packs which bore his name.

Dot and Tom were wed that day
and 8 months later they did play
with little Sal their lovely child
who like Tom was sweet and mild
and loved her daddy's fairy cakes
and other stuff that bakers bakes
whilst Dot and Tom made more iced buns
and soon had some more little ones
a Bakers dozen, girls and boys
a life of pleasure, cakes and toys
So ends our tale, just as it oughta,
of Tom, and Dot, the Vicars daughter.

n

'I know she's in the county jail
For smashing Tom with a wooden pail'
Harry's voice rings clear and true
'His kids are with his mother who
Now has six more mouths to feed
Who knows where all of this will lead.'
Dotty fainted on the spot
Had Tom a wife that he'd forgot?
Was this her Tom so meek and mild
And she feared she was 'with child'

"Be it Tom, or Tim or Harry
I must be sure before I marry"
the vicar said "I think it best we
check the records in the vestry"

Tom swears it wasn't 'im,
t'was his twin brother, Tim.

a deadly hush, the congregation
looks around in expectation
The vicar beckons Harry close
"just keep this brief don't get verbose.
Who and where's the bakers wife?
she must be found ! upon my life
I've never had a case like this,
hiatus to a life of bliss.
Look at the bride she is distraught
with thoughts of all the presents bought
that must be given back today
if there is truth in what you say"

The service went without a hitch
The choir sang out in perfect pitch
But the guests were all aghast
When came the part where the vicar asked
'Is there any reason they can't marry?'
And at the back up stood Harry
'Aye' he said, 'They can't be wed'
'He's got a wife and she ain't dead'

Invitations were sent out far and wide
For guests to toast the groom and bride
Then flowers ordered for bouquets
and for the gents' buttonhole sprays
Of course in the old wedding tradition
Dot's mum went on an expedition
to the shops to buy her outfit
with a fancy hat in navy and biscuit

whilst Tom began his plans to bake
the most fantastic wedding cake
Dotty made her bridal frock
and raided haberdashers stock
across the county far and wide
for 'dressing of the perfect bride'
Silk and lace and ribbons blue
glass beads,feathers, buttons too

Her dad said”Aye,he's quite a catch”
And mother agreed they were a good match
With his own store and bakers van
Their daughter couldn't want a better man
When Tom proposed and Dot said yes
She dreamt about her wedding dress
And starting planning straightaway
For the all important wedding day

Though Dotty knew she'd met her match
Would her father like her catch
She primed him well just to make sure
He'd not be thrown back out the door
She told him that - and taught him this
(Oh how she longed for his sweet kiss)
And when at last she thought him ready
(Her heart was pounding, she felt all heady)
She took him home to meet her dad
And hoped and prayed he'd like the lad.....

" Oh Tom" breathes Dot " they are the best
"I'll take a nibble , just to test"
" 'Tis only 'cause you are my cousin
I'll make it up, a baker's dozen"
So saying Tom he hands to Dot
an extra bun, but ooh it's hot.