General Chat

A preprinted card came through the post today saying 'thank you for the lovely wedding gift, it was very kind of you' and the new d.i.l. has written: thank you very much for the very generous amount you gave us. love (and their names)
They had said in a note attached to the invitations that they had all they need at home so no need for gifts but if people wished to do something," monetary contributions would be the best gift for us" but not to feel obliged to do so.

I would have thought a little letter would have been nicer especially for the parents and because it was quite a large cheque.

Oh well, back to reality! Have his white shirt (as requested by the couple to go with the tie they provided) in the wash, next time he wears that will be a funeral or something I expect, no more weddings in the pipeline! It isn't something he wears often and the suit will be hung away with the other one he only wore a few times.

Lizx

Sylvia, no he hadn't drunk that much but I think the long hours he had been doing along with his medical problems had probably caught up with him and not eating at the right time cos of the delays etc hadn't helped. He had a few drinks but nothing strong really and he had eaten a fairly good breakfast at around 9.30am.

Linda, I have told him he has to go back and talk with his doctor, but not sure he will. One thing he mentioned which I don't think I knew about was that when his doc told him to take three diabetes tablets a day he asked if he could just take one in the morning and one at night cos of his shiftwork and he is now thinking that he needs to take all three, so will have to remember a new routine of taking the pills.

He still doesn't think he did anything wrong by saying what he did to the d.i.l from NY whereas I think it would have been better left unsaid, let the son sort things out if he feels she is too clingy.



I met up with my son last evening, he picked up a nice tan while he was at Reading on his face and arms and legs so looks quite healthy and he had a good time with his mates.

He's a bit fed up that one of his best mates has gone on his first foreign holiday with some of their pals and my lad couldn't afford to go, but it's Ayia Napa (sp) so I am glad in a way he isn't there, he would only end up drinking too much to be like his mates. He showed me the pics from his friend's wedding in mid August and it looked lovely, much more well organised and son said when they walked from the church to the reception venue, after a few photos they were all given a strawberry tart and a drink to keep them going till the main meal was ready. A nice touch and a shame there weren't nibbles on the tables for us while we waited for the late buffet to be put out.

O.h's son had said there would be bacon rolls for all those left at the end of the reception, but apparently they cancelled the idea before the wedding!

Haven't decided on the holiday date or venue yet, but will talk about it this weekend, by the time o.h. gets home from work at 10.30ish he is too tired to concentrate.

take care, so glad it's all over. I took back things I hadn't needed yesterday, a new bra that was too uncomfy, it had something in the back fastening that kept prickling my skin so I couldn't wear it, and I bought two different control brief thingys and in the end wore neither so they went back for a refund, as well as a pair of mules I had bought before I got the black patent shoes - refund on those too


take care all
Lizxx

Hi Liz
I do hope OH is OK.
My Mum is diabetic as is my gret aunt too and both appear to have worse dementia when their diabetes is out of control or out of kilter as I say. Also if a person has a urinwe infection it can be a sign that their memory is poor at that time. So keep an eye on him if you can. Mainly so you won't have to care for him if he becomes really unwell, of course.

Take care and have you sorted your break away yet?

Linda :o) XxX

Hi Liz


hmmmmmmm

that is strange .... he wasn't drunk was he??


although not eating at the correct time could also affect his memory.



sylvia
xx

O.h. got in from work and went over lots of the event with me, he can't remember much about it, I am a bit concerned that he might have had another small bleed on the brain but being a man, he won't go to the doc. At least he seems to be thinking about taking more care of himself, let's hope he keeps it up and takes the right meds at the correct time, not the way he has been taking them.

No calls from anyone, not even his dad, which is strange.

Lizx

Hi Sylvia,

The son told the company he started working for a few weeks ago that he was already booked to come over to be best man so I assume it was ok'd

He is shelf stacking at night for a store, not sure if a supermarket, bit of a comedown but what he should have done a year ago, instead of holding out for his perfect job, electrician! That's why he left the UK, he wouldn't just take something to tide him over when he returned from his other trip to USA, sulked cos his previous boss hadn't held open the job, after a year lol, and so went off to stay with the woman he later married so he could stay on.

Have a good time in the cabin, we will miss you

love
Lizxx

Hi Liz


well, I think it went off fairly well .

..... at least there were no fisticuffs on the day!!


and you have a wonderful story to tell about it ...... especially the toilet seat!


One thing does puzzle me ..... and it might be worth watching out for.


Having lived over here for 43 years, including 1 year in the US ..........


it is most unusual for someone working a job such as the ny son to get a holiday so soon after starting work, even for a wedding.

You only get half-a-day off for a parent's funeral for heaven's sake!


so you might want to be prepared to hear that he is once again out of work.



good luck over the next few days with oh



I'm going away on Thursday for about 10 days, and will have no internet access (no electricity even!!!)


.......... so take care.


sylvia
xxx

Thought you would laugh at my misfortune with the loo seat lol I slipped up really, I should have told them I was badly shaken and needed a strong drink lol
The only free drinks were the bucks fizz, not the best I have tasted, the wine with the 'meal', one glass and a top up each, and the 'champagne' for the toasts, after that it was buy your own and I didn't get a chance as by then was having to nanny o.h.!
And as for no major falling out, the s*** hasn't hit the fan yet, with the newlyweds being away for a few days and the other son gone home to NY - the longer things go without either of the sons contacting o.h. the more angry he is getting, he is very hurt by the whole thing and is starting to realise they only want money for him and give nothing back. His Dad barely spoke to him yesterday when they were together and I am wondering if his ex will say anything if she has been told what happened.

I forgot to tell you about the layout of the tables I think!
The room was long and narrow so about half a dozen tables, 5 round ones seating 8 or 9 people and a square one for the 'top' table which was sort of in the middle but tucked back partly behind a piece of wall left from when the rooms were two and now knocked into one.

On that top table were the bride and groom, the bridesmaid and her partner, the bestman son and his NY wife, and the groom's grandparents, presumably because they were the only grandparents there. and the parents all had partners except bride's Mum. It wasn't easy to see them or hear the speech from the groom. The bride's Dad and the best man stood nearer the doorway so they were more visible.

When someone shouted out that the cake was about to be cut we couldn't even see the cake, it wasn't a big one so no height to it and it was on a small table at the other end of the room. Only those sitting nearby and the people taking 'official' photos got near enough to see anything and there was no time to move towards the table and cake before they cut it and it was whisked away to be divided up and brought round on a plate, no small plates or napkins so if you wanted to save it or eat it later you couldn't, it was pick it up with your fingers from the plate and stick it in your mouth!

Another thing that annoyed me during the day while we were having photos taken (and forgive me if I have already told you this) was the grandfather. It showed me again that altho he is the elder the groom always takes second place to the scrounger son from NY, always has been the favourite no matter how he treats people.
The bride's Dad, who I had met in June, came to our group of people and said 'Oh I think you must be grandfather, we haven't been introduced' Gfather says 'Yes I am S's granddad (S being the younger ny grandson)' I piped up, 'No today is W's day and you are W's grandfather!' Bride's father gave me a grin and nodded - I think he has cottoned on to the way things are but at least he and all the bride's family seem to like their new son in law and will be there for both of them.

There were so many people taking photos that I didn't bother, couldn't get near anyone really and I was amazed to see that o.h. hadn't bothered much either, only took a few so will have to wait and see what turns up. I know his sister's o.h. took a lot and so did the partner of o.h.'s ex so will see if they send any, I doubt it as they are very sidey people if you know what I mean, there is no love lost between them!

Not to worry, I hope the son and d.i.l. will show him the finished ones later on, maybe after peace has been restored. They had better stay wed, both of them as I couldn't cope with all the hassle again. Hope too the ny lot stay away for a while, the son was spouting forth about being there for the baby and wanting to come back and meet it asap but with the fact he has only just started working a couple of weeks ago and if they have to pay back her sister for the airfare loan, they might not be able to afford a visit for a while yet. Don't think the d.i.l. will be too keen on seeing her f.i.l. anyway lol He keeps saying, You were right all along, she came over and distracted son from his duties and he tried to steal the show as usual.
I have known the boys for 14 years and sussed out the younger one straight away.


p.s. Marilyn, the wedding wasn't in Norwich so couldn't have made it for coffee lol

All over .........just like a wedding!!

LOL Liz, you knew exactly what it was going to be like.

Bet you weren't expecting the toilet seat to break though........it could only happen to you...LOL

I burst out laughing at the same 2 things as Marilyn.......the loo seat and the chews.

I've never heard of anyone having chews instead of sugared almonds. Well, at least it was different.

Lets hope both the lads stay married - so you won't have to go through it again. Don't think your OH could go through it again either.

Hi Liz,

Oh dear loved the story....so much ....somehow knew it would go as you told it ..LOL

But two things creased me up ......the TOILET SEAT.. just spilled my coffee on lappy LOL

And Trebor chews on table .....ohhhh so funny . but different and cheaper !!

''Its how you tell em'' Liz ...

So now its all over , just think no more running around what are you going to do with yourself ?
Liz we could have squeezed that coffee in while they where fixing the toilet seat ,,,LOL

Hi there Liz. I am glad you enjoyed the wedding????!!!! I am sure in retrospect you will be laughing at it all, even if at the time you could have murdered a few people.

Huia.

It really wasn't the best weekend for you was it Liz? But at least there was no major falling out.
You really have painted a picture for us all to see what happened.

Glad the Red Arrows made the day for you yesterday, they are impressive aren't they.

Linda :o) XxX

So that was about it really, I went back and persuaded o.h. to go and lie down as he was reeling all over the place and I didn't want him tumbling over - there were wooden flights of steps out of all the doors of the hotel into the grounds and carpark so I thought it best to get him somewhere safe. Spent the rest of the evening in the room reading and watching tv while he snored and next day had breakfast, and came back home.

A round trip of about 100 miles and no chance to say goodbyes to any of the other side of the family or people we had spoken to, o.h.'s exwife stayed elsewhere as she had changed her booking to pay for the bestman and wife's room after the wedding and that was it! No chance to say goodbye or goodluck to the bride and groom who went back to their house and were travelling to a country house elsewhere on Monday for a short two day honeymoon, both of them back to work next week and then the bride is on maternity leave later on, baby is due November 4th!


Oh, and on Friday evening when the groom was talking to his dad and the ny son wasn't in earshot, he told his dad the ny wife is very clingy and very like their mum, she nags a lot and repeats things constantly. Seems she rang constantly while they were spending time together - dad and sons - and in the end ny son fibbed and said he was just about to go to bed so not to call again as she would wake him. Apparently she also calls him a lot at his new job, a graveyard shift stacking shelves in a store, not the electrician's job he had been hanging out for. Seems he has to do more exams to do electrical work as he didn't finish his qualifications here first and there are different levels of qualification over there.



Thanks again for the support, at least both his sons are married now so hopefully no more weddings to worry about.
When my lad gets round to settling down - he has to meet that special someone yet and I don't know if it happened at Reading lol - I will not be taking o.h. along to spoil anything!

Btw he got home safely from Reading, said the weather wasn't too bad all in all and he had a good time. He purposely left his tent behind as many people do and they are donated to charity, he has another one at home and couldn't be bothered to take his down and pack it up.

Will see him this week and tell him all the wedding goss lol

Lizxx

Oh and I had a flypast from the Red Arrows Monday afternoon, I heard them come down and then fly off to do the Eye show, later heard them again and they did a formation flypast over the field and peeled off one by one to come in lower and lower to land at our local airport. Made my day, they did!

The seating arrangement at the registry office was haphazard, the best man from NY had a plan scribbled out but don't know what went wrong. I was called up to sit near the front with o.h. and his ex on either side of best man, the bride's dad and his second wife on the opposite side with the bridesmaid who apparently should have sat next to me and the bride's Mum was the far side of me so photos of them exchanging rings will probably have me in the background but not the bride's Mum who is divorced from her Dad. The NY d.i.l. was next but one to me, and there was an empty chair between us which had been left for the bridesmaid and then behind us were the sisters and friends of the couple and o.h.'s father and stepmum at over 70 were left standing at the back along with o.h.'s sisters. The service was very basic and didn't have a lot of feeling or emotion really, o.h.'s ex burst out giggling when she spotted the bride and bridesmaid with their baby bumps out front trying to hide them with the flowers, and there was nothing remarkable about the service at all, disappointing I thought. It would have been nice if the couple had said some individual words of their own.
As I said there were so many people doing photos, no official photographer so it was very muddled and confusing, luckily the weather got out nice and bright and sunny and then off we went to the reception where there was the long wait for the food to be put out, it was in a conservatory area next to the room where the tables and chairs were in groups, we had sneaked in after breakfast to see where the labels were and find out where we were seating. Seems the groom's mother had said she hoped she was sitting with her brother and s.i.l and the groom had told his Dad 'if she starts making a fuss, I will tell her where to go' lol

There was none of the bride and groom standing to welcome people into the dining area and the bride's father started making a speech while the best man and several people were out of the room, o.h. had just gone to the loo and noticed on his way back in that J has started speaking so went and called his son(best man) back in from where he was smoking outside, he and his wife were in and out smoking all afternoon and he was high as a kite, he has always been a bit hyper but I have never seen him the way he was on Saturday! After a lovely speech by the bride's dad, the groom started his speech but he sort of stood back near an alcove so some people couldn't see him or hear him, then the best man started his speech but most of it was about how much he loved and missed his brother and how he had brought his own wife to be there with them, etc etc. He forgot to thank the bridesmaid, he forgot to open and read the cards and forgot to ask everyone to sign a guest book that was ready. There was no music except some background musak at the hotel, altho as we first got back to the reception the pub over the road had something going on and the first song we heard was D.I.V.O.R.C.E. lol
No dancing or even the couple having a first dance!
Then people started to move about a bit and the best man came over to our table to speak to the friends of his bro, who he had obviously known for years. Straight away the NY wife followed him and before I could stop him o.h. got up and went and said to her about not following him everywhere and to let him mingle, that was when she stormed off and things went awry.

Later on when o.h went outside, I had to go to our room and let the best man pick up some luggage that had been left there for him. That's when I realised how hyper he was. I tried to explain how his dad's health has been over the last three years since he has been away but I am not sure how much sunk in.
He took his stuff and said he didn't want to speak to his dad, he intended to enjoy the rest of the evening but to tell his Dad he loved him.

I went back into the room and went to the bathroom. Now when we first got the room I thought the loo seat was a bit wobbly and flimsy in quality for a place like that, and wouldn't you know it, I sat down quite carefully but the seat snapped in two lol
I had to go to reception and tell them, their maintenance chap was apparently away for the weekend himself, so they didn't know what to do. (Personally I would have undone a seat from a vacant room and swapped it over but oh no, they didn't think of that!) They were running around like headless chickens, oh dear oh dear what do we do? was I hurt etc etc so I asked if they had any strong tape, luckily they found some of that silver tape and they bound the seat so it was safe to use lol
Could only happen to me eh? pmsl wasn't the 'word' lol

Hi again, had a lazyish day while o.h. went out to see his Dad and family, they changed their minds about which part of the coast to go to but o.h. didn't wake me to tell me - I would have gone had I known as it is somewhere I like and there would have been coffee shops etc, not like the middle of nowhere the initial plan involved. Seems his Dad barely spoke to o.h. so probably a snotty phone call in the offing, well they can sort it out between them. No calls from either son, no thanks from the newly wed for the cheque in with the card which we last saw on a small table just inside the room where the reception was held along with others, none of which were opened or read out, another omission by the best?man from NY
Hopefully he and his wife are back there now or on the way, o.h. sent a text to say have a safe journey, love Dad and he is feeling sad, he knows it will be a while before they come back again to visit. Personally I couldn't care less if I never see them again, that son always causes trouble, always has and always will, he just wants to be the centre of attention all the time and if he isn't he sulks and goes off somewhere, last time it was to NY. Seems the reason the girl sent him the fare to visit her was because she knew him slightly from serving him in bars when he was on his jaunt round the States in late 2007 to late 2008, running away from county court debts owed to an ex girlfriend and her parents and helped out then by his Dad to the tune of nearly £1000. The girl in NY is supposed to be a teacher - she is 29 and supposedly teaches little ones up to 18 yr olds, but can't earn as much teaching as she can cleaning and working in a bar. The thing that she liked about the son was that he tipped well at the bar she worked in, they exchanged email details and when he was back here and didn't get the job he thought had been held for him, he complained he didn't feel welcomed back so she sent him the fare to go back for a holiday with her, that was in the late December and the next thing they are getting married in the June so he could stay in NY! She has two daughters from two fathers and the girls fight like cat and dog all the time, said the son, and he also said they hadn't seen much of the girls at all for the week previous to coming here because they were too busy shopping and getting stuff for the visit.
We had a meal when we arrived at the hotel on the Friday and then o.h. got a taxi to where the groom and best man were staying - they had been chasing about getting things the son from NY had forgotten, like smart shoes to go with his suit etc so had made the bride and her friend late to get to our hotel where they planned to decorate the tables, three cream roses in a vase on each table, purple fake gemstones sprinkled on the clothes and little boxes of sweets for each guest not things like sugared almonds but trebor type chews and odd stuff like that. All stuff o.h. couldn't/shouldn't eat. There was also a box with a card game in at o.h.'s place. ( I think it was called 52 up and o.h.'s b.i.l. told him he had to throw them up in the air so they went everywhere lol A couple of lads who were the grooms friends from school and who o.h. knew, and one girlfriend, picked them up and started playing the game, which was fun and I and o.h.'s nephew joined in, the rest of the family on the table just sat and looked miserable and o.h. had no idea what was going on - I should have realised he was a bit out of it then, but we had only had a glass of bucks fizz as we came in, so didn't suspect anything. With the meal - not impressive, just sandwiches, little quiches, some couscous, mushroom risotto from the vegan table, and a few chicken goujons, crisps and such, we had a glass of wine, o.h. had red which he doesn't often drink and we had one refill, and then a glass of champagne for the toasts at the end.)

Anyway when o.h. was with his sons on the Friday evening the groom had said he didn't want to be too late staying up, but o.h. didn't get in till almost midnight and I had been reading and relaxing in the room, hoping I could have an early night, but no luck. O.h. had drunk a couple of pints of guiness so woke me up at least three times getting up for the bathroom, I was not happy knowing I had to be up early on Saturday morning. It was a struggle to get out of bed and tidy enough to go down for breakfast, made sure we had a lot of food to last us through, and got ready in time to drive the 9 miles to the registry office. My dress was comfy, and the new patent shoes altho wearing such a high wedge became tiring on my back after standing around for more than an hour having the photos done. I got several compliments about the outfit and felt I didn't let the side down lol

Liz so glad you got through it without murder being committed !!!

Will hear more of the news later .

Caz
sorry I have not been on for a long time hope you are not so painful and thanks for your kind comments on J . I really hope he gets this part time job as he is never out which isn't right for a 21 yr old .


luv
kathy xxx

Hi Liz, well it is over now, so you can relax and (hopefully) sit back and rest a bit.

It all makes me fell relieved that I didn't marry again after my divorce. Just love getting my own way too much.

I have seen people who plead povety and then spend loads on drink, smokes and trying to impress other people, can only feel sorry for them (but not enough to hand them my hard earned cash).

maybe now that the wedding is over your OH can make a renewed effort to stay of the booze, not easy I know.

take care of yourself,

Tess

Hi Liz,

As the others have already said, it's nice to see you home again. We've really missed you over the last few days.

Let's hope that your OH, now realises exactly what his NY son is really like. I felt sorry sorry for him, when I was reading your post.

Glad it's all over, and that you survived it. Looking forward to hearing the rest of what happened.

Take care!


Love, Sallie.xx

So pleased you are back home Liz and in one piece, although maybe I can't say that for your oh, I actually felt sorry for him for what he learnt about his family. I'll look forward to hearing from you, we have missed you on threads last few days.

Kathy I meant to say good news about J, I will keep fingers crossed for him.

Caz xx

Hi, Liz, so pleased you got home safely, will look forward to the next episode.
take care,

love Jean xx