General Chat

Just to raise another option - I don't intend to have a funeral. My father in law went went for this option.

The undertaker delivered his ashes and we took them to a local bluebell wood he loved in the spring and scattered them. I thought was rather beautiful and very moving.

Flowers, sombre dress and mourning. I'm noit into all this celebration of life and bright colours. I think people should be encouraged to express their sorrow first.

Regards Vera

At our local crematorium the flowers are left out for several days and then removed. My Mum and I went back to look at my Dad's flowers the day after the service and brought hers and a few others ( sprays) back for her to enjoy at home as the weather was dire, it was late January. We took my flowers for him to my daughter's grave which is in the same cemetery as the crematorium. They lasted longer on there than where they were, which would have been cleared some days later.
My Dad hated wreaths and only liked sprays.

Lizx

Nerlin that was very thoughtful...When my nanna was cremated, the funeral director gave all the flowers to my mum to bring home after the service, they were not destroyed after the ceremony had finished, so there is always that option

Family tributes and/or donations. or what ever anyone wants to do.

Ive sent flowers when its been family flowers only and its been taken well,each to thier own I supose.

We too have sent flowers to the widow of a good friend after the funeral.

I would like family flowers but being a trustee of a charity and knowing how they are struggling just now to survive I would prefer donations from friends if they wish. If people prefer to give nothing I don't mind that either as long as they are at the funeral to support the family.

Merlin I bet she found that very moving.

Must say I'm all for donations too but I do think society has got very po-faced about things these days and who cares what anyone has for themselves or their loved ones - each to their own

Thats really thoughtful Merlin.

My Mum and Dad had family flowers only and donations to the local special care baby Unit and Poppy appeal (their wishes)

My Aunt sent some money for Flowers at Christmas so we decided that as Mum and Dad enjoyed the their garden we would plant lots of bulbs on their plot which would flower every spring and summer.
It looks really pretty at this time of year.

I would want a mixture, some flowers and the donations going to the NSPCC.


Teresa

She did like them especially at such a sad time.Its amazing how a few flowers can make people feel better for whatever reason.**M**.

Thats lovely Merlin

When my friend died there were lots of Flowers So Instead of putting some on his grave I sent his wife a Bunch of Roses ( His Favourite ones) with the message ,Toms got his and these are for you, I,m sure he would want you to have them(.He bought her Flowers every week).**M**.

Many years ago I worked as a nurse in a geriatric hospital & we always knew when there had been a local funeral by the beautiful flowers that appeared, donated by the families. Maybe a bit tactless considering, but better than seeing them rot away on a grave.
Give me flowers any day.
Marion

I have only ever taken one posy back and given to the family and that was because I had not bought my dear friend flowers for her funeral but for her birthday which happened to be that day and they appreciated that.

Rose,
Flowers at crems have to be taken away as there is limited space.
Of the crems I've been to (I hope that doesn't seem too Blanche Hunt lol) family have taken their flowers home to enjoy.

Is that right? Fewer flowers is considered more tasteful? Hmmm, very odd to me too Uggers.
The more flowers the better, in my estimation!

The funeral director pointed out that after the service any flowers would be thrown in the bin basically, as it was a cremation, that seemed awful to me , not because of the waste of money but because of the waste of beauty.

I like flowers up to a point, but DON'T like teddies, balloons, or any other non-degradable stuff. As for me, I really don't care as I won't be there to complain!

I like flowers at funerals. People seem to be quite snotty about flowers these days - there was a discussion on another website I use about this and I hadn't realised that some types of tributes are now considered tasteless or that fewer flowers is considered more tasteful. All very odd to me - I think each to their own - flowers are lovely and as someone said, it looks very bare without. Not to mention tight fisted:)

I think I would prefer to have flowers at my funeral. I feel I have given plenty to charities along the years.

For my Dad's funeral we suggested the choice, flowers, or donations to a specific local rescue association which Dad had donated to over the years. There were flowers, mostly from direct family, but seeing as the best part of £250 went to that charity in donations (acknowledged by the funeral directors) and we never got a thank you from them (the rescue association), in hindsight I think I'd have preferred to see Dad's grave covered in flowers.
Bitter? I get so angry when people do not say thank you.

K

Just sat here watching the birds help themselves to the contents of the bird-feeder I set up for them.

I wonder what their answer would be to this conundrum - flowers or no flowers?

One of my teachers left his body for science research.