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Auntie Motie a Genteel Tale of Everyday Life.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


CherryCrumbles Report 29 Aug 2012 19:08

And another bloooberrie call from dear Petunia. I am surprised that the purser hasnt confiscated her phone and thrown it overboard, surely it must be interfering with the radio signals from the Wireless Room, I assume they have the Wireless facility on board that ship. I expect Petunia will soon be regaling us with tales of her trips to the Wireless Room and how she advised the operator on how to do his job. No doubt that would go down well ..... not. I warned her to watch out for floating ice, and I dont mean in the Perrier water or Gin and IT. There has been another calving off Greenland.

BTW does anyone know what IT is? Gin and IT, and I've heard of the IT girl. Personally I cannot understand why a gin or a girl would have internet technology attached but there ya go, there are many strange things in the universe.


Hello Lesley, yes we were on the car ferry going to the I of Wight, formerly known as Vectis (its Roman name), in the 1980s. It was a nice week; and OH and I ended up in the hotel's honeymoon suite although we had been married many years by then, but thats another story.

When my offspring were babies they were both screamers during the day, but they both slept well at night. The oldest slept a bit too well one night, which had me worried at first until I poked her and she woke up ..... and started screaming. Happy memories ! She still screams ..... when she goes to rock n metal gigs, LOL :-D

Today we found the Battlesbridge antique centre but its not the place I remember visiting a few years back, and it wasnt the Rettenden antique centre either because we checked that. The place we went to before had three levels, ground floor and first and second floors, but we couldnt find it today.

The last time, I just remember being on the Southend Road (A12, probably) and seeing a sign for Battlesbridge. Oh for a photographic memory ..... I can remember lots of incidents from my childhood going back to when I was a toddler, but in adult life mostly what I remember is just the trivia.

We had lunch at a lovely pub called the Windmill not far from Rettenden, I would recommend that pub to anyone. The service was excellent and the sandwiches were yummy and very well presented. The pub was busy, but thats always the sign of a good hostelry, its busy because everyone goes there which people wouldnt do if the place was no good. A pleasant day out all round and I didnt let the rain worry me.



MotownGal Report 29 Aug 2012 20:00

Good evening dears, how are we all tonight?

Lesley dear, that is not crying, that is exercising her lungs! I know of a young lady who screamed for one Sunday solid. Her Mama did not know she was hungry and she was crying out for milk. Her Mama sat in an armchair all day trying to feed her. Mama was fraught, baby was fraught. Sensible midwife said forget trying to feed her, get a bottle for baby, and everything was hunky dory again.

I bet you are bursting with pride each time you see your little one Lesley, little girls are soooooo pretty, you can dress them up.

Now Cherry dear, you still have not mentioned where you put the pebbles, do tell me they are safe dear. I have a whim to have a tiara made for Christmas.

We docked in Venice this morning. I have travelled extensively as you know, but never to Venice before.

St Marks Square was beautiful. We sat and had coffee and watched the world go by. We then ventured into St Marks itself, what a wonderful church it is. Then we decided to explore..................

We toured the glass shops, bought some goblets and necklaces, I have presents for you all.................

Then a strange thing happened...................we saw a little child in a red macintosh running along the bridges. Such a strange sight we had to follow her. All along the sides of the canals, and over the bridges again. She was such a tiny little thing, but she was very quick. There was a man following her, a tall man with curly hair. He looked very like that actor, that nice Mr Sunderland, who has a son who also acts. Mr Sunderland Snr disappeared into an alley and that was the last we saw of him.....................

We are changing for dinner as I speak, we are going a la carte tonight, or as I like to call it 'in a wheelbarrow'. Titters.

Have a good evening dears, I shall report further tomorrow.

Toodle Pip
Auntie Petunia


CherryCrumbles Report 29 Aug 2012 20:51

Oh dear, that Bloooooooberrie again. There was so much interference I dont think that dear Petunia heard me saying that the dirty pebbles that fell through the cyberhatch are now safely in the garden. The Walled Garden, superglued into the new stonery that the gardener has created under my instructions.

Dear Petunia said something about "Hat on", so I made sure to wear my hat while I stood beneath the oak tree where there is a crows nest. I could not risk having my coiffeur splattered.

She mentioned a child in a red mackintosh, and Mr Sunderland and his son. I know of Mr Sunderland, he's Canadian doncha know, and it breaks my heart to see him looking so old. It means that I have grown old. However I take comfort in the fact that I am growing old disgracefully. As for the child in the red mac ......... that would be my daughter in one of her evil moods ..... *cackles*.

Well I do not think that the food at the Captains table could have been any better than the dinner I cooked for myself this evening. I had a piece of steamed plaice with steamed carrots and green beans, and I made a white sauce (laced with apple juice and jazzed up with parsley flakes and black pepper) to put on the plaice, Its a very easy sauce to make, margarine and white flour and water, I've made it for so long I dont measure out the ingredients any more, I cook it "by feel". I used soya margarine tonite, instead of flora. My "pudding" was a very generous helping of 0% fat Total greek style yogurt, to hide the generous slice of carrot cake I hid beneath the yogurt. That Total is a lovely pudding yogurt. I also use Yeo Valley organic yogurt, 0% fat again, as a pouring yogurt, to pour over my porage in the morning.

I read on the news somewhere that a small glass of wine each day is very good for maintaining bone strength. Cheers m'dears !



Susan-nz Report 29 Aug 2012 20:53

Hello Ladies,

Petunia, so pleased to hear you are over the sea sickness :-). You should have been more than able to tuck in to 'in a wheelbarrow'... that term made me chuckle.
Please don't get too keen on a tiara .... err, there has been a slight misunderstanding...
Enjoy Venice, OH and I visited briefly some moons ago.. I loved it, didn't love the price of our coffee we purchased from a vendor in the square.. Greenhorns I think we were :-(.

CC, do you collect antiques or were you just out for a day trip? I watch Antiques Roadshow from time to time, cor, some of it looks like tat but is worth moonbeams :-D. Oh to be able to tell the difference eh? Glad you enjoyed your pub lunch. That is one thing OH and I reallllly enjoyed in May. Why is it whenever one has a sandwhich when 'out', it tastes divine, but when one makes ones own sandwhich, it is just like , not another sarnie? I am perplexed... I eat a sarnie everyday for my luncheon :-(.

Gawd help us from screaming babies, a certainty for driving a 'new' mum to the edge of sanity. Why don't babies come with a user friendly guide eh?
shudders at the memories... Of course when the little darlings are in slumber, there is nothing more beautiful :-).

CC, never heard of Gin and IT... G&T I like ;-) - but not when my Papa mixes one, the 'T'is nearly absent from the glass :-S. OH has a cupboard full of various liquors, they rarely see the light of day now, unless I need a wee tipple of something for a recipe.

Just heard on the radio, 'our' Valerie has won another shotput competition since the games.... GOLD, absolutely. There is a very funny but naughty email doing the rounds here about a certain other country and an athlete :-D... I know you are ladies so wont forward it on (requests taken - at your own peril) ;-).

Crikey, nearly September already, where has the year gone? Tis Fathers Day here on Sunday, makes mental note to buy Papa a card :-\.

Toodle pip



Susan-nz Report 29 Aug 2012 20:55


we crossed paths..

my bones must be very strong :-D


CherryCrumbles Report 29 Aug 2012 21:01

Susan dear you know you can always PM me ......... LOL. In Petunia's absence, do allow me to be your Censor and decide who should and should not see this email. Is it something I can annoy lots of people with????? :-D

No we dont collect antiques, we cant afford to. I just like to mooch around these places and see if they are selling anything I own. It was just a day trip.

Did you know, Fathers Day in Britain is in June. Mother's day follows nine months later.

oooh nearly time for WDYTYA, so TTFN - tata for now!



Diamonds-R-A-Girls-Best-Friend Report 29 Aug 2012 22:49

CC Could it have been The Old Windmill in South Hanningfield where you dined today that has always been a very popular hostelry and is only about a mile from Rettendon, I haven't been to Battlesbridge since the new Southend Road opened that must be over 8 years ago.

In the 30s/40s my dear late MIL was sent to boarding school on the Isle of Wight it was said the bracing winds in Ventnor were beneficial to asthma sufferers.

My middle fruit believes gin & it stands for gin and iced tea :-S

Dear Auntie Petunia please be careful with/of those hot blooded gondoliers ;-)

Oh Susan I'm not sure about the funny but naughty email :-0 go on then PM me I could do with a good laugh :-D

Teresa I hope you returned the lion safely to the zoo and that you enjoyed your day I aslo hope you didn't encounter any quicksand on the way :-)

B F N Lesley


CherryCrumbles Report 30 Aug 2012 09:01

Hello Lesley yes it was the Windmill in South Hanningfield, I checked the address on the 20% discount card I was given. When we paid the bill, we were given two foil wrapped choccies, which I promptly did not share with OH, but he doesnt eat those kind of chocs anyway . Turned out, I was biting into two very delicious Elizabeth Shaw mint crisps. I should not eat those chocs either .... sigh.

I think the hotel we stayed in on the I of W was in Ventnor, but cant remember for sure now as it was years ago. I dont think we experienced any bracing winds that week, except for the day we went to Alum Bay, and used the chair lift to reach the beach ........ never again, as it was a long way down. However there is no truth in the rumour I was terrified. I smiled happily for the photographs (OH avec camera was in the seat in front of me with youngest fruit, and I had oldest fruit with me), and my happy smile for the camera was not a petrified rictus grin :-D

Oh Suuuuuuusaaannnnnn ...... there are two ladies here waiting for you to share your newest communication!!! :-D



CherryCrumbles Report 30 Aug 2012 09:22

just a little thought of the day ....... I hear Prince Harry will be at the Paralympics. Well, I cannot help but wonder what he won't be wearing, and where his detective will hide the gun ..... :-D


Cooper Report 30 Aug 2012 14:11

How Naughty Cherry :0) of couse the detected will keep the gun in his holster or thereabouts.

I like the Isle of W. We stayed on several holidays there. The garlic farm is a place of wonder. Garlic ice cream, yuck. Its almost as horrid as the Marmite chocolate that FTE bought me. I shall send some down the cyber hatch along with the buns I am making. Those chickens are producing well. :0)

Lesley my dear FTE used to exercise her lungs and like Cherrys fruit. She found a great outlet for the noise when she was a little older by attending beet combo gigs. Many a morning after she has been to them rendered bereft of the power of loud speach. Only 15 years or so to go :0)
The zoo was very busy but we managed to be in the right place at the right time and saw some shows and fed the elephant. The quicksand is on the left hand side ofthe road as you drive down toward the zoo and also there is a quarry sign. I made the fruits look out for it :0)
The loin was sitting on the rock with his lady wives so all was well in that department.

Aunty, I do hope all is well on the high seas, how long are you gorn for dear? Tyr not to eat too many afternoon teas, Im sure Mrs Berry would not want to be folding swans and making chocolate fountains.

Susan dear FTE has been called. She will be visiting your neck of the woods in the new year.

orff now to get the next batch of buns out.



CherryCrumbles Report 30 Aug 2012 19:53

Congrats to your Dear Fruit, Teresa, and I wish her many happy hours on the High Seas. And lots of boodle in her pay packet too :-D

I'm glad you saw the quicksand sign, because I didnt know for sure where it was, only that MFH took a wrong turning and it looked like a quarry access road, or something to do with sand and gravel.

I shall pass on the marmite chocolate thank you very much, it sounds as dangerous as deep fried mars bars!!! :-S But the buns will be welcome unless you were planning to feed the elephants? I went to SainsCo today without my shopping list, so forgot to purchase MFH's sticky low fat buns.



CherryCrumbles Report 30 Aug 2012 19:56

oh yeah - there was a cartoon in today's Express, which I thought hilarious. HRH Papa was reading a newspaper while instructing his son to at least wear a pair of swimming trunks at the paralympics. This incident will not go away in a hurry. The general public are like elephants - we never forget. I still remember a telephone conversation which was made very public by a certain Red Top Rag .......



Susan-nz Report 30 Aug 2012 20:16

Hello Ladies,

My 'email' is a photographic one , so CC, I would need your permission to send it you as it from another source, Lesley, if you would like to see it, send me your email addy and I will forward it on.... I absolve myself from any comebacks though :-D.

OOh Teresa, how exciting for your fruit. Friends of ours have the ships sailing into Auckland , sail righ past their house... I hope NZ will turn on some lovely weather for the ship and her crew and passengers ;-).

Teresa, I saw a bar of Marmite chocolate in a sweet shop in Windermere.. The shop was shut, I intended to purchase the choccy for my marmite loving fruit. Perhaps I was saved from wasting my sterling?

Did you know , though there is absolutely no reason you should, that NZ Marmite has been off the shelves for months. The factory suffered earthquake damage and there have been further rebuilding delays. It is due back into supermarkets in November I think. I shall stand back from the rushing shoppers. The incident was almost a national catastrophe - if you like Marmite. I have a half full jar in my pantry that fruit spotted , I had to wrestle her out of the pantry ;-). We are rationing the remains :-D.

Tis Friday morning here and the sun is shining, just to tease us before the rain arrives I think...

OOOh. one of our para olympian swimmers has won a gold medal - hooray. Go Sophie. Our cyclist Fiona has won a bronze. Hooray again !! Girl power

Toodle pip
Susan :-)


MotownGal Report 30 Aug 2012 20:24

Good evening dears, I seem to send my daily reports just before dinner these days. That is because I have had such a packed itinery during the day. We stayed overnight on the Ship, and have taken a train up to Roma.

Ah the Eternal City. How wonderful it is. Even the policemen on point duty look like Franco Nero. I have been here before, as you would imagine, but to my surprise Beatrice had never been, so we decided to try and pack as much into the day as we could.

Firstly we climbed The Wedding Cake, the sun glinted onto the white marble, and we did indeed need to put on our sun glasses. Who would have thought at this time of year.

A short walk away, and we entered the Vatican. Beatrice and Otavia and Georgianna are all of the Catholic persuasion, so it was ideal for them. We wandered around for over and hour, looking at the icons and the statues, then the others went to light a candle for their loved ones. I lit one for Lavinia, it seems so strange that she is not here with us. We all bought a rosary to take away with us, it will remind us of our visit, and of course it reminds me of Lavinia.

A quick turn around and we are in the Forum, and they are surprised how many little darting lizards there are, but not as many as the cats that live there. A lady came to feed them, and it seems hundreds appeared from nowhere.

The Colusseum was a quick visit also, as we wanted to head to Piazza Navona to have our likeness sketched. So many artists, we decided on a characture, rather than a proper likeness. I know exactly what I look like, I do not want a young man to capture every line and crevice..............

Then to the Trevi Fountain, where we threw our pennies. We will be back again dears, I feel it in my water.

A light late luncheon, and we were back on the train. My goodness, thank Heaven we are at sea all tomorrow, I dont think I can keep up with all the gadding about.

Lesley, have you thought about Gin for your little one? Apparently it was the fix it about 100 years ago. No? Just a thought.

Dear Upsidedown Susan, yes please do send the email. As you know I am a woman of the world, I do not shock very easily. Go on dear, I dare you to send it.

Teresa, I look forward to travelling with your dear daughter, I am sure you will be wonderful in her new occupation. Good hard work reaps its own rewards. You dont work too hard either dear. Remember Jack became a dull boy.

Cherry dear, PLEASE dont say the pebbles are stuck in the wall dear....................Get a screwdriver or something and pick them out. I promise I will give you one if you do. There were twenty in total. I dare say I can get a tiara out of 19 emerald cut diamonds. Breaks into a cold sweat.

Dinner time dears. Do you think this pink organza is a little over the top? Maybe a little too Ms Cartland? No? I thought it looked the bees knees too.

Dont wait up dears, the night is young, and so am I in spirit!
Auntie Petunia


Susan-nz Report 31 Aug 2012 06:28

Dear Petunia,

I have done as requested and emailed you :-S,

:-D :-D :-D ;-)

Please advise if you think content is suitable for t'others


MotownGal Report 31 Aug 2012 08:35


Erm, I'm sure I dont know what to say! Really? My, my, the things you see when you do not have your gun!

Forgive me dear, but is she not wearing a tad too much make-up?

Sitting in the corner quivering
Auntie Petunia

Well dear Upsidedown Susan, I shall leave it to you think the others need their horizons broadened quite so far???????


Cooper Report 31 Aug 2012 16:27

Susan, where is this e mail? I am a little concerned and ned to see if it is suitable for Auntie.......... oh no I am too late.

Cherry Cherrrreeeeey, quick send a jar of marmite and the smelling salts to Aunty P. Goodness only knows what has happened!!!!

I would send my squeezy jar of marmite but I love it too much to part with it.

Yours wondering about a slice of toast and marmite.



CherryCrumbles Report 31 Aug 2012 18:46

hi Susan, ummmm I guess you mean its being circulated as a J-peg, thanks but no thanks, if its come from another source I would be hesitant to have it sent on to me because it could contain a tracker. Virus-scanning images doesnt always show up a tracker. What a shame it's something that cannot be typed into text. Thanks anyway :-D

Perhaps dear Petunia will print it off, and let me see it when she comes home from her voyage. We are bound to run into one another eventually, even though this is such a large house.

I didnt know you had a Marmite shortage. Can you not raid Australia for stocks of Vegemite, as a temporary alternative? I dont blame you for rationing out what is left in your pantry .... but I wouldnt mind betting you are having the biggest spoonfuls !!!!! :-D

My Manuka Honey treatment seems to be working ....... my little problem was a lot better this morning.



CherryCrumbles Report 31 Aug 2012 18:51

Oh that wretched Bloooberrie. Why cannot dear Petunia have a holiday, when she goes on holiday. These modern new fangled systems of communication means that no one need be out of sight and out of mind. There is something to be said for living with dinosaurs. Oh well we cannot say we do not know what Petunia and her cronies have been doing. I dread to think of them trailing round the Vatican. I hope the Pope didnt feel too harrassed. I can just envisage Georgianna (the racy wretch that she is) asking the Pope what is worn beneath his papal gown.

Tricki Woo would have had a field day, rounding up all those feral cats.

Yes I know Petunia will return to the Trevi Fountain - to fish out the coins she threw in there along with everyone else's coins. After dark, naturally.

Oh I do hope she was not too distressed about the fate of the dirty pebbles, I told her once again they were used in the New Walled Garden that I had the gardener create. Superglue works wonders, no one will ever prise the pebbles out now, they are stuck down fast. Just like the £1 coin glued to the floor of SainsCo in the middle of the Back Pain Remedies aisle, and it is so funny to see people bend down to try and pick it up. Perhaps I should not have said that, I would not wish to put ideas into anyone's mind ....... ;-)

Perhaps I should expand my sense of fun, by putting some fake £10 and £20 notes into an envelope, with the fake notes suitably revealed, and attaching a piece of cotton to the envelope, and placing the envelope in the street, so when anyone sees the envelope and bends down to pick up all this "money" ..... I pull the cotton and jerk the envelope back to the front door.



CherryCrumbles Report 31 Aug 2012 19:07

We were out again today Teresa, a small foray into Essex to visit the Harlow Garden Centre, which I only discovered the other day and never knew it was there before. We also visited the Nazing Glass Works, where they sell an assortment of ornaments and other such incidentals such as crystal glasses, plus they used to let visitors into the workshops to see glass being blown. Not sure if they still allow this, but it was fascinating to see the craftsmen at work. On the way home, we took a detour to visit a Toby Carvery where we had a nice meal, and I partook of a free ice cream.

MFH and Ai have a slight problem in that at our time of life .... what can we do for a day out. We've visited all the stately homes and Historical Places Of Interest that can be visited as "a day out". We've had mini breaks and visited other stately homes and Historical Places Of Interest further afield. We are not of an age (nor in good enough health) to go camping, or sleep in caravans at holiday campsites. We dont have grandchildren to drag around with us, so most Family Days Out would be wasted on us. We've visited various zoos, to the point where its "seen one zoo, seen them all". The garden is established, and I have no plans to change anything .... I cant do the work any more ..... so trailing round garden centre after garden centre is out, as well.

So. I thought we could visit museums or pottery shops or glassware shops or antique centres ..... (hence the trip to Battlesbridge) but there is nothing within reasonable driving distance of where we live, and we looked online as well. I may be drawing my old age pension, but I am still too young to go to the local council's Tea Dances for old folk. Oh what to do ... where to go. (It doesnt help that MFH has turned into a G.O.G, who I cannot take anywhere, not even a second time to apologise).

I am not sure if the cyber hatch is a two way street .... would my smelling salts land safely on the deck of the SS Canitti? or would some poor young deckhand be knocked out cold. Then again - if Pat rish aaaah has any more nervous debilities, she might need my smelling salts to restore her. Restore her to what, I cannot say. I do wish Petunia had taken Pat rish aaaah with her. Or even better, taken me along. I would have happily carried her money belt. :-D

The mention of Gin to soothe a fractious baby reminds me ..... my sister in law used to drink a glass of stout, or was it Guinness, shortly before the 10pm feed, and her baby slept through the night.