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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Allan

Allan Report 8 Sep 2018 22:59

My wife recently bought one of those coffee- making machines. It's massive and takes up half the kitchen, not to mention costing the entire economy of a small country :-S

Well this thing whirls whistles and steams like a decrepit old passenger train. And the noise when you put the beans in :-|

I'm sure that these are grounds for divorce :-D :-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 1 Sep 2018 23:32

For Caroline


This is the tale of the skunk family.

There was Mummy skunk and two little skunks, called In and Out.

One evening the two little skunks asked their mummy if they could play out.

“Yes, “ she said, “But don’t go far as I will soon be putting your tea out,”

So In and Out went out

Thirty minutes later mummy skunk went to the door and shouted “In, Out, come in; your tea’s out”

Out came in, but naughty In stayed out

Again the mummy skunk called “In, come in! Your tea’s out.

Still no response. After a few more minutes mummy skunk was becoming very anxious. She said to Out “if In isn’t in soon, I’m going to call the police”

Out said the if he was allowed to go out he was sure that he could find In and bring him in.

Reluctantly mummy skunk agreed.

So Out went out and five minutes later came back in with In

A very relieved mummy skunk gave out a big hug and asked how he knew where to find his brother

“Easy” replied Out









“It was Instinct”


Allan

Allan Report 1 Sep 2018 23:30

Did you know that when people quote statistics in support of an argument, 86.534% of those statistics are made up?

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 1 Sep 2018 00:43

Used to know a Miss Fire.....boy! she WAS hot stuff..... but that fizzled out!

Barbra

Barbra Report 31 Aug 2018 23:43

:-D :-D ;-)

Allan

Allan Report 31 Aug 2018 23:36

I tell you what, Barbra, neither of us will give up our day jobs ;-) :-D :-D

I do plan on a career change though. I've decided to become a farmer.

I'll specialize in corn ;-)

Barbra

Barbra Report 31 Aug 2018 22:55

What do you call a Rabbit with fleas ( Bugs Bunny ) well come on I am trying my best ;-)

Allan

Allan Report 31 Aug 2018 22:28

Two mice chewing on a film roll, one says “ I liked the book better"

Boom Boom :-D

Allan

Allan Report 31 Aug 2018 22:25

My favourite film without a doubt was Mrs fire! :-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 23 Aug 2018 13:36

:-D :-D :-D

Barbra

Barbra Report 23 Aug 2018 13:13

Oh dear does your good lady know what you are up to .but be hard living with an introvert :-D :-D ;-)

Caroline

Caroline Report 23 Aug 2018 00:09

:-D

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 22 Aug 2018 23:56

:-S

Allan

Allan Report 22 Aug 2018 23:52

I frightened the post lady this morning by going to the door with no clothes on.

I don’t know what upset her the most; me being naked, or me knowing where she lived !!!




Caroline

Caroline Report 17 Aug 2018 14:28

:-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 17 Aug 2018 11:20

I met OH through a dating company.

Her profile said she had an “ infectious smile”

Turned out she had cold sores !!!

:-D :-D :-D





Barbra

Barbra Report 17 Aug 2018 10:41

:-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 15 Aug 2018 22:58

To the person who stole all my antidepressants, I hope you're happy now,!!!

:-D

Allan

Allan Report 15 Aug 2018 22:38

What doe has the size of my quip have to do with the quality of my jokes? :-| :-D :-D

Caroline, I'm not scraping the bottom of the barrel yet, but I am steadily working my way down :-P :-D :-D

Caroline

Caroline Report 15 Aug 2018 18:34

His little what nows??? :-D