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Bad childhood jokes

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Dermot Report 5 May 2019 08:54

If I want to hear the patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on the cat.


Allan Report 5 May 2019 00:20

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick


Dermot Report 25 Apr 2019 06:12

Why do polar bears have fur coats?

Because they would look silly in anoraks.


Allan Report 25 Apr 2019 03:12

How do you start a milk pudding race?



Allan Report 15 Apr 2019 21:50

My Doctor has just prescribed some gloating cream for me.

I can't wait to rub it in


Dermot Report 12 Apr 2019 14:05

Children brighten up the home They never turn the lights off.


Allan Report 12 Apr 2019 11:23

My best friend never married but he had a few near Mrs


Caroline Report 11 Apr 2019 18:51

:-D :-D


Dermot Report 11 Apr 2019 11:44

Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children.


Allan Report 10 Apr 2019 21:40

Two lorries carrying cheese have crashed on the motorway which has been close until further notice because de brie is everywhere


Dermot Report 10 Apr 2019 16:34

Q - "Why is the new baby just like Daddy?"

A - "It is bald, sleepy & uneducated".


David Report 10 Apr 2019 13:26

Adultery is a sin, You can't have your Kate and Edith too.


Dermot Report 8 Apr 2019 14:14

So near - yet sofa.


Bobtanian Report 1 Apr 2019 11:57

A lorry containing "Vick" has overturned on the M25 spilling its load all over...

police estimate that the road will be congestion free for several hours yet!!


Allan Report 31 Mar 2019 23:05

My new next door neighbour is a Russian Uber taxi driver, Pikup Andropov


Dermot Report 31 Mar 2019 16:40

"I was raised by just my mum. See, my dad died when I was eight years old.

At least, that's what he told us in the letter".


Allan Report 24 Mar 2019 09:47

Mummy, mummy, can I lick the bowl out?

No! You can flush, it just like everyone else.


Dermot Report 24 Mar 2019 06:47

"Mummy, mummy! What's a werewolf?"

"Be quiet & go comb your face".


Bobtanian Report 24 Mar 2019 01:46

Was accosted by a foreign gentleman that was a pound short of his airfare home......
gave him a tenner and suggested he take 9 others with him!....


Allan Report 23 Mar 2019 21:20

Perhaps not in the best of taste, but I did find this one funny. That says a lot about my sense of humour and also my mentality :-D :-D

I recently met a very attractive homeless woman and asked if I could take her home.

You should have seen her face light up as she said yes.

You should have seen how her expression changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.