General Chat

I watched the TM programme and feel all this unpleasantness could have been avoided had Meghan taken Harry to meet her father. She was obviously close to her Dad and loved him a lot so it's sad to see the way things have added up.

Tawny, don't give up hope. I dearly wanted children especially after losing my daughter so when my boyfriend in Malta said he was concerned we had left it too late (I was 34 and he was 30) w decided to try for a baby. I fell pregnant during the first week of trying and my son arrived 2 weeks before my 35th birthday.

Just make sure you both eat healthily and take folic acid beforehand.

Lizxx

Fingers crossed then Tawney.

The genetic issue is microcephaly but I have spoken to a doctor about it and they believe the risks are low enough for me not to be tested. So we’re going to cross our fingers and see what happens on the baby front. Mr Owl admitted tonight that whilst he will find it hard he’s not totally against a child.

Sylvia, spot on! I agree with you.

It beggars belief that Harry did not meet his future father-in-law before marrying Meghan even if they may have not seen eye to eye on things. If it was awkward the visit could have been kept short.

If I'd been in Mr M's position I would have been miffed to say the least.

I can't believe that no senior member of the Royal Family advised Harry to meet his future f-in-law, but perhaps they did and the advice was ignored.

There's such a can of worms in there somewhere.

I can't say anything about the genetic issue you mention Tawny but on age I can say don't lose hope. My sister had her first child at 38 and her second at 46 - completely natural too.

to go back to Rambling's opening post.


I do think that T Markle was (and is) owed some civility and plain good manners.

He seemingly has never met Harry.

But then the Queen and other Senior Royals are also owed some civility and good manners.

I'm sure Harry was taught those in his formative years.

Perhaps that is all we should be owed by our children??

Many years ago when our daughter was about 20 she told me that she'd never put me in a home. :-D

I'm going to hold her to that. ;-) :-D

Not sure what her OH would say though. :-D

I should add we would never expect child to look after us in old age but my desire to be a mother now at 35 is painful.

Husband and I are currently at odds over wether to have children. I told Mr Owl on our third date that I wanted a child. Since then his relationship his four children has broken down entirely. I think us having one would help him realise the love of child. I have it with my dad and Mr Owl has it with his step dad. Mr Owl has now announced he doesn’t want one. I’m seriously considering an accident this year just one as that’s what we agreed on four years ago. I wonder if having another one would change his view but one is all we have due to age and a possible genetic issue. If I don’t carry the gene too though the chances are zero.

My children owe us nothing.

It was our decision to have them and therefore we can't complain about how much it has 'cost' over the years to raise them.

I did have one colleague back in the UK who was always going on about how much money he and his wife would have had 'by now' if it wasn't for their children.

Our two children do do things for us such as look after our computers, but they both work and have their own lives to live :-D

They both live within easily travelling distance of us and we see them frequently.

Dermot, sadly, I believe that is true. It's not the right order is it?

I feel for the grieving parents. <3

Our son has not communicated with us for a few years because he is ashamed of us living on a council estate ( we bought our house ) ashamed of us living as we do, wanted us to store his stuff in the attic, he was given numerous emails to come and collect it, he hasn’t so it will go to the tip and I know if he saw what was going he would come and get it, his loss not ours. He can’t have it both ways.
So goodness only knows how we will end up but he will get nothing from me after my death.

An alternative approach -

Parents who lose a child never recover.

Kay, I agree with you about TM!

I never had to look after my parents.
Dad developed a brain tumour, and his wife admitted him into a hospice, though he was at home with her when he died.
Mum was a widow in Portugal - though looking to move back to the UK - near my sister. Unfortunately, she died suddenly from a gout drug she was taking.

Me and my daughters joke about who would 'take me in', in my dotage.
Truth is, I prefer living alone.
Their dad is older than me, but none of us think his current wife could cope with him - having said that, he's just turned 70, and is still lecturing!

I suppose, as his siblings, my sister, brother and I should be thinking about our eldest brother (13 months older than the next brother), is 70 and a half - and still renovating, by himself, an old 'Smithy' in Somerset, as well as creating commissioned Bonsai pots, and other pots (no point in having the kiln half empty) that he then sells at Bonsai shows in the UK and Europe!
He (like me and my sister) lives alone, but, unlike us, has no children.
Which of his nephews/nieces could look after him?

Caroline ............

yep, much balmy here!!

I certainly don't want to be pushed in a wheelchair down an incline ........... and there are lots more of those in Halifax and area!

She really wants us to scope out places that we would like to move to, both here and over there, so that we can tell her where we would like to go. This involves checking out the large variety of retirement places ranging from the government-run to luxury.

I don't know about you, but the government-run ones can be pretty bleak!

But she is our only child, and our Executor (with a niece in northern BC as alternate), so in some respects it would be easier to be all in one place ......... when and if it comes to it.

I certainly have never ever thought that she should have either or both of us living with her family.

We didn't do that in my family, although OH's parents had his maternal grandmother living with them for many years, including when she was suffering from dementia. His mother and her sister would take it in turns to have grandma for 3 weeks at a time after she developed the dementia, as that was all their families could take. Their husbands would then drive her from Chester to Manchester or reverse. She was an active healthy dementia sufferer, who could walk miles if she got out of the house.

His mother wanted to emigrate here around 1988, after her husband died ............... we were in Vancouver, her daughter in northern BC, and she really wanted to be close to her daughter (her favourite child). Her intent was to live with her daughter, or at least in the same town. We would be back-up for when she wanted to get out of the winter conditions up there (can get as low as -30C, with lots of snow).

Unfortunately, my sis-i-law was already a widow with 3 children under the age of 12, had no spare room in her house. Plus their town did not have a decent seniors housing at that time. We would have had to sell our small house and buy a larger one.

But the big reason why she couldn't come was that she was over 70, and had serious heart problems ............... it would have cost us well over $30,000 a year in medical costs to support her, and her British pension would have been frozen at whatever it was at when she left the UK. So we would also probably had to have supported her financially.

That's if she could even have been accepted into Canada.

Sis-i-law had the difficult job of telling her mother that it was out of the question.

Luckily, OH had a cousin living not too far from his mother, and she was willing to visit m-i-l regularly and help with finances., and OH and his sister made regular trips to the UK, even if it was only for 3 days. His sister made special trips when a new place had to be found for mother to live.

Sylvia the main issue there would surely be the weather!!

As much as we joke about one of the kids being able to look after us in our old age I know they're more likely to put a label on us and leave us on the doorstep of a retirement home....which beats putting us in a wheelchair and pushing us down a very steep slope. :-)

Children don't owe a parent nothing more than to be a good person.


TM is trying to free load off the couple because of who they are,,,,,,,he/they thought they would be sailing into the sunset being handed a endless pot,,I bet their eyes rolled like a slot machine...…what a yike,,,,,,,,it wa his only golden chance to appeal to the press to leave H&M alone and shown protection toward her,,,,,but all he wants is money,...I saw and spat feathers.horrible ,horrible man,

I did not have children to look after me in my old age I have a disability but I am very independent and hope to be for a long time to come and that’s thanks to my parents treating normal while growing up. I looked after my mum and she lived about two hours away from me and I’m not allowed to drive so very weekend and sometimes in the week down on the train it was not easy but at the did not notice it but so glad I did it because I can never say what if I have a lovely brother and sister who helped also so I was not on my own but I’m just glad we were able to do it and ask for nothing back

I did not have children to look after me in my old age I have a disability but I am very independent and hope to be for a long time to come and that’s thanks to my parents treating normal while growing up. I looked after my mum and she lived about two hours away from me and I’m not allowed to drive so very weekend and sometimes in the week down on the train it was not easy but at the did not notice it but so glad I did it because I can never say what if I have a lovely brother and sister who helped also so I was not on my own but I’m just glad we were able to do it and ask for nothing back

Adam & Eve ran into a spot of bother for nicking an apple from the Garden of Eden.

Let's try to avoid a repetition of that awful event.