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find birth mother

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Sheila

Sheila Report 14 Apr 2013 00:53

I would like to say that we do now have a group on FB that tries to help and support people that are looking for family. If anyone needs help then feel free to pm.
Whilst I agree with an adoptee having the right to try and trace their family, I do think they need some guidance and support, whilst doing this, We try to help guide them through contact etc. and part of the reason we do this is the vast cost some organizations where charging people.
Now more than ever since the demise of Norcap people will be looking, but you should also be wary about giving out addresses etc without know the state of mind of the person looking.
Good Luck to all of those searching and if you need help feel free to pm me .

Kay????

Kay???? Report 13 Apr 2013 21:47


Joy that isn totally true,,,,no birth mother from 1927 was then or now given any promise of privacy.

Sanny,then refrain from jumping in to freely send address in certain circumstances, please ,,,,,,you may send an address to someone whos barred from any family contact.!

sanny

sanny Report 13 Apr 2013 21:39

Angela hope it all works out for you :-)

jax

jax Report 13 Apr 2013 21:37

Well GR should have removed the whole thread when it was reported...it was'nt needed anymore the info had already been sent by pm at least twice

Flip

Flip Report 13 Apr 2013 21:33

Can we all stop this please, this is Angela's thread and she is a new member. Whatever we have done to help her is being totally destroyed by all this disagreement/debate which isn't relevant to her quest.

Adoption is a highly charged subject, but do we really need to degenerate into a debate on a new members thread? And yes, I answered some critism earlier, but so far have refrained from getting into this. Please let it rest.

Have a debate on Genealogy chat, not on someones thread.

jax

jax Report 13 Apr 2013 21:21

You posted the ladies name...I saw it, but it was'nt me who reported it

There was no need for you to post it after GR had edited out her first name for the same reason and the address and everything else had already been sent, had you read the posts before yours.

jax

jax Report 13 Apr 2013 20:54

You would not have got a warning for giving an address in a private message...you must have said something on the thread which got reported??

Penny

Penny Report 13 Apr 2013 20:53

how are adoptees supposed to find family without going to these firms that chage hundreds ??

By going through the post adoption service in their local county council

Doesn't cost a bean!

Joy

Joy Report 13 Apr 2013 13:11

Everyone has a right to have an opinion. Mine is:

I think it is helpful to read:-

http://www.genesreunited.co.za/boards/board/living_relatives

and

http://www.genesreunited.co.za/contents/gettingintouchwithlivingrelatives

and

http://www.genesreunited.co.za/boards/board/living_relatives/thread/1287449;

also, before the mid 1970s (I can't remember the exact year), a birth mother was not only told that she would never see her baby again, she was also promised total privacy; it is, I understand, recommended that there is mediation between an adoptee and a birth parent, particularly in the situations of people born before that year in the 1970s. Many years after someone is born, the circumstances of the parent can be completely different.

I do sympathise with a seeker and a person being sought. It is possible that in the situation of this thread's original poster, the person being sought, or someone known to the person being sought, requested the name to be removed, that we shall never know. I wish all parties well.

Kay????

Kay???? Report 13 Apr 2013 12:31

Quite right Ken,people should stop enforcing what others should do. :-).

Kenneth

Kenneth Report 13 Apr 2013 10:58

Kay has a right to do it the way she wishes,Patchem, and Pickly/Holly
have a right to their, opinion, as have I, and I am in 100% agreement
with Flip`s opinion, my successful search results with positive outcomes in so many request, makes me believe I could be getting it right sometimes,
I enjoy searching, I have wipe tears from my eyes when told of reunions
I have helped happen, there is no greater reward than the happiness and
joy that their words reveal, and so to the few chill out, and have a nice day.
Ken H or RED KEN


Kay????

Kay???? Report 12 Apr 2013 23:32

patch,

Its not for me to comment on him,only that its kept private.

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 12 Apr 2013 23:02

My point exactly Kay.

patchem

patchem Report 12 Apr 2013 22:42

So what is your opinion of Kenneth's behaviour?

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards/board/living_relatives/thread/1322807

Kay????

Kay???? Report 12 Apr 2013 22:28

Yes Prickly I am.
But policy is,,,,only if its requested. :-)

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 12 Apr 2013 21:16

Is anyone on here actually qualified to give Angela professional guidance and advice?


Maybe you are Reggie..........but having said that, Angela was not asking for it anyway.

Flip

Flip Report 12 Apr 2013 16:34

I do agree with you, the mother has the right to privacy. But on the other hand the adopted child has a legal right to access their birth information and try to find their parent(s). Although in this case with so rare a name it is difficult - hence all contact via PM

Lets face it, this one was not difficult to find, so although the OP did not have the expertise to find her anyone with more experience could. And I believe Angela would have found her on her own once she developed her research skills.

Try putting yourself in the position of an adopted person, then think about what you would want to know. Regardless of whether the mother wants contact or not, the child has the legal right to try, and the mother has the right to reject the approach. However, under the law her anominity was removed when they opened up adoption files to adoptees.

I also wonder if her name had been Jane Smith would it have been reported - I doubt it. I found my mother through this site (Smith, but not Jane) and there were no RRs on my requests.

The other poster quoting the christian name has also been reported, so I guess someone is trying to block this.

Sorry but as an adoptee, I think Angela has every right to try to find her mother.

jax

jax Report 12 Apr 2013 16:11

I agree with Reggie

This lady was very easy to find because of her unusual first name, does her husband or children know of this birth?? maybe not

She may be very happy to have contact with a child she possably had to give up over 50 years ago...then again she may not welcome it

Lets hope it all works out well for all concerned

ErikaH

ErikaH Report 12 Apr 2013 15:40

I sincerely hope that Angela doesn't try to make contact without first seeking professional guidance........

The mother's family may have no knowledge of her existence, and her approach could cause untold distress.

The post was probably reinstated without the forename for reason of TACT and DISCRETION

I do feel that people on here should give guidance and advice...........not up-to-date address info........... in circumstances such as these

Flip

Flip Report 12 Apr 2013 14:08

Wonder why OP was reported and re-instated minus the christian name??