General Chat

Hi Wendy, hope you are managing to get some sleep.
You said you wrote him a letter saying you hoped he got love and respect, he deserved it, but you also said he doesn't respect you. Now I am in a difficult situation of my own making but not in my own home, you have the advantage, so stay strong and do not take him back unless he comes back with his tail between his legs and not like he is doing you a favour, and if he comes back and you take him back, arrange to go to relate or whatever it is called now, to work through this so he respects you in future. In fact, try and get an appointment now, as they will see people who are not together at the time, and it could help you deal with things better. Sometimes tho you have to wait a long time for an apptmt, don't know what it is like where you are.
You could give yourself a sort of time frame, in that if he has not made efforts to sort things out and make up to you for what he has done, then you pack his stuff and send it to him at work or ask him to fetch it from the garden on a certain day at a certain time. The end of June might be a good date, 12 days is long enough for him to decide what he wants to do. Just don't be a door mat, and set out ground rules if he comes back, i.e. that if things aren't right in six months then you will reconsider. You deserve better than the arguments and hassle so chin up, you haven't done a thing wrong only love him and if he can't see that and be happy, then you are best off without him. You picked yourself up once, you can do it again and you don't need a man living with you to make you happy, you can be happy on your own with your family around you.
Good luck, am usually about at night if you can't sleep and want to 'talk'

Lizx

I don't know what to say really - never ever been in that position but reading what Tania has posted, I think it's true and excellent advice - think she's read the situation perfectly, and everyone else who has posted on this thread has had something really valuable to contribute. All I can do is offer you my utter sympathy and hope you are able to find the strength to rise above it - as has been said, no faults seem to lie with you, you've done everything right and he's done everything wrong - your problems are now hers if he's with her - you may end up thanking her!!! Keep posting on here sweetheart, everyone is wishing you well

Ann XXXXX

Hi Wendy
I can see how hurt you are my advice is simple.
1 no one can love you if you dont love yourself
The most important thing you need to get out of this is that you are a valuable person who deserves love and respect,even if it means seeing a counsellor or a life coach for yourself you MUST do this,

you are not a bad person you have simply made a poor choice,its not about YOUR character it is about HIS.
he moved from a crummy bedsit in with you to be provided for and now hes wandered off to pastures green for someone else to provide for him.(read provide as in SPONGE off)
I realise it dosent sound nice when it is written down but thats unfortunately what it looks like to me.
What the women has done isnt nice but actually she isnt relevant the flaws are all his.

Wether you take him back or not is solely up to you but the first advice still stands about you.
Good self esteem means you dont get taken for rides.
Take care
You will be ok
Regards Tania

Wendy, you're bound to be hurting love. You've done nothing wrong, and you know it.
Listen to all the advice here, especially Lindsey's second paragraph. :-))
Good luck.
(((BIG HUG)))
x

Maybe the last thing he wants to be is on his own?
And the argument over something trivial is him not knowing how to break up with you nicely.

Take control of the situation, pack his stuff in black bags and put them outside, demand your keys back , maybe he has a history of doing this, and put it down to experience !

You deserve someone better.

Oh bless you. It's every woman's worst nightmare. Please think to yourself, maybe your the lucky one. Would you want him back if this is what you get eh. You can do better.

ive done the same once and launched a orniment he brought me a staffordshire bull terrier.... it bounce by his foot.. and launched through the window and smashed it... so i screamed at him... you made me break the window now you fool...the orniment never had a mark on it... i do hope hid wheels fall of his supermarket trolly...what an idiot....

let me tell you girl i got a fairy ornament in front garden with arm held on by sticky plaster

cos she was handy to launch holding her legs at OH as he ws reversing of drive one night after row over an indescretion, our son came up behind me as i launched fairy and moved my arm over to she landed on grass and not car windscreen,
OH admitted he was scared for the first time ever

lmao
wendy that more like it girl
get mad
get even

dont appologise we not offended
like glenys says your mams right

Im so sorry... that is wicked of me to say that my apologys.... if i offened anyone with saying that...

god it still hurts glenys.... what hell did i do....i was alright just... went and had a long relaxing bath... to get rid of my panda eyes were ive been blarting on and off all day...then my girl told me that....do you know ive never been evil in all my life but... i feel sick with anger....if he is with her... and things are happening nooky wise... i hope to god it fiests up and drops off...

Good girl. Don't forget, it's HIS loss, not yours!

(Oh - and if he's done this to you, he'll do the same to her, mark my words .............)
x

Well he works at the local supermarket and its the corner of my street.... my daughter has just been there and saw him leave with another woman... i did find with this woman whenever we were together shopping... he would say hello and she would be estatic because he said hello... then when i said hello she would just curl her lip up at me and grunt at me.... it seemed she as problem with me and i dont know her.. she lives alone... but i dont know where he his staying as he has no family over here or male friends...well it looks like its truly over...maybe she has taken him in... as a friend would do...he told me once she is alright and he found her pretty.... so maybe i should count my losses... i feel anger now

Wendy, hi, I really feel for you at the moment. But listen to your Mum; she said what I feel.
It smacks of a hasty action, and that he needs to grow up a bit.
Don't give him anything that is yours, and keep your self-respect. You owe it to yourself.
Keep us posted, love.
x

Wendy, never think that you are not good enough for anyone. You may not be right together, but you are always good enough for anyone. No one in this world is better than you , just different. Jean

Be kind to yourself Wendy.

Sending you (((hugs))) xx

Whatever you do, do not blame yourself, do not go on a guilt trip. Last time you picked yourself up, dusted down and began again. Perhaps he just had a trantrum and already regrets it, but meantime - talk to yourself, ask yourself what you really want out of life and then take that step - whether it is to try again or go on by yourself. Take care - there are always lovely caring people here when one needs a helping hand or that shoulder.

wendy dont blame yourself
give him time, just make the most of time apart for now, go treat yourself if you can maybe something in expensive, or have hair done, you konw something to cheer you up,
show him you are tough, sometimes t his is what it takes for them to see,
dont put yourself down,

bin there got the tee shirt and my OH is trying to repair the broken heart he broke, he knows that and i try to keep my nightmares to myself most of the time i accept his efforts,

wot im trying to say is give it time wendy
be brave, be strong, dry those tears ,
well dont let him see them if you bump into him
hugs to you

))))))))hugs(((((((((
carol xxx

AWW thankyou cumbrian caz... such alovely lady....thankyou ladies all this means alot to me i dont feel alone now....