General Chat

A..............handbag!!!

The Importance of Being Ernest

I may be drunk madam but you are ugly. When I awake I'll be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill

“I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.” Dean Martin

A Family Tree can wither if nobody tends it’s roots.

Forgive me for this Dermot, but........

The anal guardian of the apostrophe would like to point out that:

"The word it's is always short for it is (as in it's raining), or in informal speech, for it has (as in it's got six legs).

The word its means 'belonging to it' (as in hold its head still while I jump on its back). It is a possessive pronoun like his- and hence needs no apostrophe."

Sorry - but the apostrophe could whither like the family tree, if no-one guards its roots!

Lol Sue

Hello Sue..................I'm going to have to watch out that I don't put any apostrophes in the wrong place.....lol

Hope you've had a good week :)

Thanks Suzian.

That is as clear as a bag full of smoke. Well spotted though. Spoken words mislead as often as they guide. Back to school then for me.

Big sorry, Dermot

I can't help myself ............. and all my tins face front! Scary, or what?

Lol Sue

"If only you weren't a Hapsburg prince."

Catherine Deneuve to Omar Sharif in Mayerling. One of the worst 10 movies ever. But I will go to my grave wanting to use that line.

Hi Amanda

Yes, thanks, a decent week.

Perhaps I should suggest that folks read "Eats Shoots and Leaves"

It's an apologist for the anal punctuationalist (as they say!)

Lol Sue (who also loves shoes - that's shoes, not shoe's!!!)

Must do that one, Kathryn

"If only you were't a Hapsburg Prince" - what a wonderful put-down.

Perhaps I should also try "An Italian Principessa has to remember her duty - no matter where her heart may lead" That should knock 'em dead in the bars and curry houses of South Shields...


Thanks for that!


Sue

Was that Audrey?

Oh, and btw -- I suspect that thee and me are the only fans of Eats Shoots and Leaves hereabouts. ;)

We should share.


A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

'Well, I'm a panda', he says, at the door. 'Look it up.'

The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.'

" Two fingers of red eye ".......WC Fields.

On the subject of shoes you did float into my mind the other day whilst I was looking at shoes in the co-op sale............I didn't purchase though as my toe isn't quite threw the pair I'm currently wearing......lol

It wasn't - but it could've been, couldn't it?.

'twas just me!

Lol Sue

Hi Amanda

You've picked the king of the one liners. Another example:

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally"

Lol Sue

Is that one an Oscar Wilde ?

It's another WC Fields ....just googled..........lol

I remember hearing the Two Fingers of Red Eye in a film...........guess I liked the sound of it........lol

"Closed on Account of Molasses" also might have come from the same film but I'm blowed if I can remember what the film title was........he was a most excellent comedian.

American version of Oscar Wilde, Amanda ...... it's W C Fields

Two wonderful, caustic wits?

How goes things with you and yours?

I had Rachel over last night (it's over, mam - can I come to you?)

Me - one night, and one night only.

Rachel - oh, ok, but could you lend me £20?

Me - ok, how are you getting here?

Rachel - don't worry, mum, I'm in a taxi


Me - have you got money for this taxi?

Rachel - (silence)

Me (aka Muggins, aka Lloyds Bank Overdraft facilliy on wheels)..........


a.pays for taxi

b. produces a £20 note

c. mops up daughterly tears

d. watches as said daughter gets into husband's car which comes to pick her up less than half an hour later......

The joys of having a Rachel (which you know only too well)

Lol Sue

Sounds like an expensive evening in for you there Sue.........glad that your Rach is back with her hubby.I hope it wasn't anything serious that had up-set her.
I have a list on my peg board of the debt that my two eldest keep running up..........Becca paid me back £20 on Tuesday and then borrowed £10 again on Friday.......thank goodness the younder two don't try to get their " accounts" going yet.........lol

I haven't seen much of my Rach lately....she breezes in ......baths....eats............and is gone again..........lol