General Chat

I don't believe it ! ~ Victor Meldrew

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds up during the day. It is not guaranteed to help you lose weight or completely de-stress but it may make you feel better in the short-term:

BREAKFAST:
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

LUNCH:
small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
cup herbal tea
1 miniature Mars bar

AFTERNOON TEA:
the rest of the mini Mars bars in the bag
tub of Hagen Daas ice cream with chocolate-chip topping

DINNER:
4 bottles of wine (red or white)
1 family size supreme pizza
2 loaves garlic bread
3 snickers bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK:
Whole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer) because you have realised that STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS "DESSERTS"!

Thanks Bridget - wonderful quotes!

Have you checked for a Marriott-Wilde connection?

Lol Sue

" Life is just a bowl of All-bran....you wake up in the morning and it's there ".......Small Faces :)

Slight shift away there from good old Oscar......lol

More Oscar Wilde:

" 35 is a very attractive age: London society is full of women who have, of their own free choice, remained 35 for years"

Enjoy!

Sue

Ken Dodd’s Dad’s Dog's Dead.

May the force be with you :0)

Ah, Karen, I must admit to not owning one. And never mind that split infinitive.

I've taught the danged stuff, to trainees in what I do.

However, someone doing pro forma checking of my own work a couple of weeks ago caught me out.

"Comprised of". It is like "irregardless" to the pure of eye, and had hit a blind spot in mine own.

" made it Mar..........top of the world "......James Cagney......White Heat............that is another one that has always stuck in my mind.
James could do " tortured mad " even better than Jack Nicolson................lol

Sounds like an expensive evening in for you there Sue.........glad that your Rach is back with her hubby.I hope it wasn't anything serious that had up-set her.
I have a list on my peg board of the debt that my two eldest keep running up..........Becca paid me back £20 on Tuesday and then borrowed £10 again on Friday.......thank goodness the younder two don't try to get their " accounts" going yet.........lol

I haven't seen much of my Rach lately....she breezes in ......baths....eats............and is gone again..........lol

American version of Oscar Wilde, Amanda ...... it's W C Fields

Two wonderful, caustic wits?

How goes things with you and yours?

I had Rachel over last night (it's over, mam - can I come to you?)

Me - one night, and one night only.

Rachel - oh, ok, but could you lend me £20?

Me - ok, how are you getting here?

Rachel - don't worry, mum, I'm in a taxi


Me - have you got money for this taxi?

Rachel - (silence)

Me (aka Muggins, aka Lloyds Bank Overdraft facilliy on wheels)..........


a.pays for taxi

b. produces a £20 note

c. mops up daughterly tears

d. watches as said daughter gets into husband's car which comes to pick her up less than half an hour later......

The joys of having a Rachel (which you know only too well)

Lol Sue

It's another WC Fields ....just googled..........lol

I remember hearing the Two Fingers of Red Eye in a film...........guess I liked the sound of it........lol

"Closed on Account of Molasses" also might have come from the same film but I'm blowed if I can remember what the film title was........he was a most excellent comedian.

Is that one an Oscar Wilde ?

Hi Amanda

You've picked the king of the one liners. Another example:

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally"

Lol Sue

It wasn't - but it could've been, couldn't it?.

'twas just me!

Lol Sue

" Two fingers of red eye ".......WC Fields.

On the subject of shoes you did float into my mind the other day whilst I was looking at shoes in the co-op sale............I didn't purchase though as my toe isn't quite threw the pair I'm currently wearing......lol

Oh, and btw -- I suspect that thee and me are the only fans of Eats Shoots and Leaves hereabouts. ;)

We should share.


A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

'Well, I'm a panda', he says, at the door. 'Look it up.'

The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.'

Was that Audrey?

Must do that one, Kathryn

"If only you were't a Hapsburg Prince" - what a wonderful put-down.

Perhaps I should also try "An Italian Principessa has to remember her duty - no matter where her heart may lead" That should knock 'em dead in the bars and curry houses of South Shields...


Thanks for that!


Sue

Hi Amanda

Yes, thanks, a decent week.

Perhaps I should suggest that folks read "Eats Shoots and Leaves"

It's an apologist for the anal punctuationalist (as they say!)

Lol Sue (who also loves shoes - that's shoes, not shoe's!!!)