General Chat

I am glad that Joyce is out of pain and worry now, and reunited with her husband. I like to think of her with him and my parents and aunt and uncle, three cousins together with their spouses, and catching up with a good chat lol My Mum doing the catering as always!

It's me being selfish as I know there was so much more info and little tales to come about my relatives who I didn't know very well, most of them dead before I was born or because they lived a distance away, were not well known to me. Joyce's son is about the same age as me, I just wish there had been someone else to fight her corner for her and get the treatment she should have had. It wasn't my place to interfere without being able to see for myself or talk to her first and that didn't happen.

Thanks for the messages, all of you, on here and by pm.

Lizxx

Hello Liz

So sorry to hear of your sad news take care xx

So sorry to hear your sad news, x

So sad that you felt not all was being done that could be done for this lady. Dont blame yourself, you are not of an age where you should be expected to do anything. We are always filled with regrets that we could have made more effort, but circumstances have to be considered. Be glad for her that she is with her beloved husband at last.

Marilyn, what a kind thought. Thanks everyone for your messages. I feel so sad that I never got to visit her and also that I hadn't made more effort to make contact so we could have had a little chat. I know from what the d.i.l. said before Christmas that Joyce wasn't being cared for well and wonder if the son bothered to sort it out, or if the fact she was not bathed and not given her meals and medication properly for her diabetes etc helped contribute to her death, seems her kidneys started to shut down first when back in hospital and maybe if the diabetes hadn't been managed properly that contributed. I could shake the son and d.i.l.(and the grandsons in their 20's) - they could have done more for her in her last lonely months but I dare not say too much, I think they knew last time we spoke that I wasn't impressed with them.

Lizx

Morning Liz,

So very sorry to hear your sad news.
Please accept my Deepest Sympathies.

xxx

Hi ,... Liz just read your sad news.

If I could be nearer I would have taken you to Joyce's funeral , but I'm sure you will be with her in your thoughts, just as good Liz.

May she R.I.P.


Marilyn xx

So sorry to hear your sad news Liz - I did not see this thread in August - must have been up the mountain. Joyce is now at peace and reunited with her husband. RIP Joyce
(((((Hugs)))) for you Liz
Love Mary xx

Liz I'm so sorry for your loss. As you know I nearly lost my aunt before Christmas and so know how upset I was, you must be feeling worse than I was then. It leaves a big gap doesn't it. Bless Joyce xx

Liz I am so sorry to hear the sad news, she will be reunited with her husband and family now. R.I.P. Joyce.

Caz xx

Liz so sorry to hear of your sad news, may she RIP with her husband and family who have gone before.

Francesxx

n

Sorry about duplicate posting but I had a real problem altering the title of the thread and posting at all.

It was a funny feeling to see our Brian with an i posting on this thread as I am not sure what has happened to him, but he is no longer posting on the threads and when I added a 'where is he' thread, no one had heard from him either.

Lizx

Yesterday evening I received a call from the d.i.l. of my Dad's cousin, to hear that sadly Joyce has died in hospital, on Thursday morning. She was 89, would have been 90 in June.
She was taken ill at the nursing home with a chest infection and despite being given antibiotics (which apparently didn't agree with her) when they got her to hospital , her organs shut down and she passed away.
I am selfishly sad for myself, that I never got to visit her and since her trip to hospital last August and then being put in a temporary nursing home some weeks later, I wasn't able to chat with her at all. We used to have wonderful conversations about the family as she had so much information in her head and told so many little anecdotes that brought my Dad's family to life for me. It was Joyce who told me about Gt. Grandfather (her Grandfather) the Stone Mason working on Liverpool Cathedral etc and so much more, I would not have known how my Grandfather died, or how many daughters my Gt Uncle in Liverpool had etc etc and now all that knowledge has gone. The d.i.l. said Joyce had started to write some of the stories down after I suggested it but then she got weaker and hadn't done any more.
We exchanged Christmas cards but I didn't have a phone number to contact her at the home and didn't hear any more from the relatives since before Christmas and then with feeling unwell myself after my fall, hadn't contacted them or Joyce in any way. I don't think I will be well enough to get myself to the funeral altho I don't know when it will be yet, but o.h. won't want to take me I don't suppose and I am not sure I want him there anyway, he is such an embarrassment.

I know how much Joyce missed her husband Ernest who died in 2008 just a few months before their 66th wedding anniversary, after he had to go in a home because of Alzheimers. Joyce was no longer well enough to look after them both and that upset her.I hope she is now reunited with him and with my parents and aunt and uncle with whom they would spend time when Mum and Dad went to stay with my aunt and uncle.
Rest in Peace Joyce, a wonderful lady who will be sadly missed.

Lizxx

Brian, he is her only son, there are two grandsons who hardly seem to visit her even at home, just across town. I don't understand them either, bet they will be there with their hands out when the time comes to sell the house etc.

So what if she does moan a bit, she is 90 next year and lonely, lost her husband a year ago on the 17th of this month, after a few months in a home with Alzheimers and they hardly took her to see him even then, and when they heard he was in a bad way, they said they would take her the next day, by which time it was too late. I don't know them well, don't think I ever met them as we lived away from the 'home' area, my parents would be disgusted if they were alive and knew how casually the family treat her, as they were very close to Joyce and her hubby.

How lovely that you had such a great family to visit you often.

Lizx

My children visited every day whilst I was in hospital with a stroke and that meant a 35 mile journey each way. I can't understand Joyce's children.
Brian(i)

As you will see on the carers thread, it can be frustrating giving daily care, and people DO treat their nearest and dearest much more impatientely than they would strangers. By that , I mean your cousin may not be so pleasant to her som and d.i.l. She may also have had this infection for some time and that would have changed her attitude. Been ther with UTI frequently and was not nice to know! Best wishes to her.

I rang Joyce's son the other evening, he says she is still in hospital but he doesn't know much, there is never anyone there to speak to! Fgs, why doesn't he ask to see the consultant, it's two weeks now and he doesn't work so could easily pop in to see him and find out what's going on. More tests are on the cards apparently and also possibly injections to help her knee so that she can get about more. If they get her out to sit in the chair she can't get back in bed herself, which is the reason she has been sleeping in the recliner chair for months, at home!
Poor Joyce, I bet she is so fed up. If it was my Mum I would be wanting answers. I suppose they think while she is in hospital they don't have to worry about her so much. They only visit every other day or so yet are close by.

Lizx

Hello Liz,
glad to see that Joyce seems to be improving, especially as she is complaining about the food. Fingers crossed that she may be able to get back to her home, even if it is only for a short while.

My prayers and thoughts to you all.

Helen

I called Joyce's son yesteday evening, he said they had been to see her in the hospital and she was feeling a bit better, apparently she had been moaning about the food and the noise so he said that meant she was better than she had been. He and his wife went out to get something Joyce wanted and missed the doctor's visit so are none the wiser about her problems, I do feel they are very impatient with her and have the selfish streak that I have seen in some of our family members. I know they have been busy preparing the room for the decorator to go in today and Monday - apparently poor old Ernest had painted and repainted over wallpaper so it took a while to strip. Her son said he didn't have a steamer, why on earth didn't he hire one, too mean perhaps? I get the feeling he is a bit careful with money, he said he didn't know whether to recarpet or not, or just put down some temporary foam back carpet tiles he had in case Joyce doesn't come home again, seems she has mentioned going to live permanently in a home and the doctors have said they aren't sure of her regaining much mobility. I do hope she can at least go back for a little while to see her room and sort out some of her things. A lot was packed away when the heating was done in May, so it will be a big job to sort things out and move her out for ever and put the house up for sale.
C. said it was his Dad's birthday yesterday and Joyce forgot, or didn't mention it, so they didn't so as not to upset her. I am sure when she realises the date (she has obviously lost track of the date in hospital) she will get upset that she hadn't remembered. Bless her.

Lizx