General Chat

:-D :-D Marion.....kids speak the truth lololol ;-)

Very true Mersey lol

Too much of the truth sometimes.....my nephews were staying not so long ago..........their Mum came to pick them up and they said Mum do you know *Mersey* has 22 toilet rolls......!! I was mortified I had that many pmsl :-D

lol.No secrets with kids about.

Men fart.

Women do puffs of lavender.

That's the story I'm sticking to lolol

Laydeez breeeeeeathe :-D

My sister & I were in a gift shop once. There was only us, the lady on the counter and one other customer, another woman on the opposite side of the shop..
All of a sudden, the other customer 'let rip'. silence followed and she carried on as if nothing had happened.

Me, being the mature soul that I am, went into paroxysms of silent laughter. this set my sister off, and her shoulders started shaking as she tried to stifle her giggles.
I indicated the door (in other words - lets get out), but she wouldn't. By now we both had tears rolling down our cheeks - I glanced over to the lady on the counter - we set hr off, and she slowly slid down behind the counter - which set me off again.
I left my sister behind and shot out of the shop.
She followed a couple of minutes later - we shot off to the loo - well stumbled, trying to hold each other up, as, by now, we were both near to wetting our pants.
When we could eventually breathe amd speak, she said she was trying to behave normally as she didn't want to embarrass the lady! Normally? With her face screwed up, shoulders shaking, nose running and tears rolling down her face???

All the 'parper' had to do was say 'pardon', and we would have been okay

Lovely story Maggie :-D :-D

juvenile, but verrrrrrrry funny:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09abF7ZUNnk

My Father would some times say blow it out ya Rs

A joke from school.
It doesn't write well but you might get it if you say it out loud.

How does a scotsman sound his Rs?


(You have to blow a raspberry as an answer)

How does a policeman part his hair?

Answer is to do that knees bent 'Evening all' that Dixon of Dock Green used to do.

Billy Connolly once recounted how at one live show
he was as welcome as a fart in a space suit.

David my husband said that to a holiday rep when we were needing help and she did nothing for us let alone be in hotel when she was meant to be.
She wasnt very pleased lol

Not to mention sitting there like a fart in a trance or even rattling about like a fart in a colander.

There was an old man
name of Carter.
He was one hell
of a farter.
He could fart any thing
From God Save the King
To Mendalson's Moonlight Sonata

There was a young fellow of Ryde,
Who fell down the lavvy and died.
His unfortunate brother then fell down another.
And now they're interred side by side.

Thank you all for visiting my thread and your many hilarious contributions.

Whatever the cure one things for sure.We all fart.

Just seen this thread. Breaking wind is most embarrassing at times. I had a huge trump long ago, on the treatment table, at my Chiropractors Clinic whilst he was trying to ease my hip and had my leg up in the air. I cannot begin to tell you how I felt. The thread has been funny - thanks for the humour!!!!!

The first ship mate was Arter
By gad he was a farter!
when the wind didn't blow
so the ship wouldn't go
they'd fetch Arter the farter to start 'er

The answer my friend is blowing in the wind