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"Sentence construction is so important!"

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 10 Nov 2012 11:23



The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people:
Was it to be Jenny or Jack?
It was an impossible decision because they were both decent workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Jenny came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said:
"Jenny, I've never done this before, but I either have to lay you or Jack off."
"Could you jack off?" she said. "I feel like sh*t this morning."

;-) :-S :-S

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 10 Nov 2012 11:42

wonder how long this will last ;-)

Budgie Rustler

Budgie Rustler Report 10 Nov 2012 11:45

Oooops... double meaning... :-0

For our American friends... "Jack off" English version means GO AWAY (or words to that affect).

You made me smile Mr Magoo :-D :-D :-D

Karen in the desert

Karen in the desert Report 10 Nov 2012 11:46


Don't know if Lynne Truss would approve of that one Mr Magoo - though she'd award you top marks for the point you are making!!

TessAkaBridgetTheFidget

TessAkaBridgetTheFidget Report 10 Nov 2012 12:44

Almost made my sides ache from laughing. Thanks :-D :-D :-D

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 10 Nov 2012 12:55

Don't know AnnC but it's the way peoples mind goes.. ;-) :-S

Sharron

Sharron Report 10 Nov 2012 13:30

Go away? No that is another off.

Budgie Rustler

Budgie Rustler Report 10 Nov 2012 13:54

Ya got it one Sharron... :-D :-D :-D

Sharron

Sharron Report 10 Nov 2012 15:03

The lovely Samantha in 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' according to the late Humphrey Littleton, selects all the recordings in the archive,which is candle-lit,The kindly old archivist sometimes has to hold the ladder while the lovely Samantha selects the records in her mini-skirt.

The kindly old archivist meanwhile,cleans the dust and wax off.

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 10 Nov 2012 15:37

I recall my mum carrying things in her apron,

I'd love to see Samantha carrying things in her miniskirt......
Bob

Sharron

Sharron Report 10 Nov 2012 15:43

Now,do I leave my sentence as it is and look silly or do I re-arrange it and make Bob look silly?

Answers on a postcard please.

JackBunion

JackBunion Report 10 Nov 2012 15:43

Samantha was actually Ann Widdicombe. With radio, you often conjure images that are not the same in reality. ;-)

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 10 Nov 2012 16:20

Please punctuate:

Tommy often helps his elderly Uncle Jack off his donkey.

Sharron

Sharron Report 10 Nov 2012 17:04

Not quite in the same vein and I am not sure I can even remember it properly but I once saw on a pub menu something along the lines of :-

Profiteroles with cream and ice-cream and dripping with chocolate sauce.

Too many ingredients?

Andrew

Andrew Report 10 Nov 2012 17:50

Woman without her man is nothing.

Where do you put the comma??

Andy

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 10 Nov 2012 18:22

After Woman and her!!

UzziInSunshine

UzziInSunshine Report 10 Nov 2012 19:52

Andy that is easy
Woman without her, man is nothing :-D

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 10 Nov 2012 21:21

Woman, without her man, is nothing..........

Bob

and no, Sharron, your sentence was fine.......it was Humprey's way of telling em!!!

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 10 Nov 2012 21:25

Fruit flies like a banana!!

Eats shoots and leaves

no ifs ands or buts

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 10 Nov 2012 23:10

I notice the two men ignored my correct punctuaton!!

Here it is in full:

Woman, without her, man is nothing.

'Uncle Jack' is:

Tommy often helps his elderly Uncle, Jack, off his donkey. :-D