General Chat

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people:
Was it to be Jenny or Jack?
It was an impossible decision because they were both decent workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Jenny came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said:
"Jenny, I've never done this before, but I either have to lay you or Jack off."
"Could you jack off?" she said. "I feel like sh*t this morning."

;-) :-S :-S

wonder how long this will last ;-)

Oooops... double meaning... :-0

For our American friends... "Jack off" English version means GO AWAY (or words to that affect).

You made me smile Mr Magoo :-D :-D :-D

Don't know if Lynne Truss would approve of that one Mr Magoo - though she'd award you top marks for the point you are making!!

Almost made my sides ache from laughing. Thanks :-D :-D :-D

Don't know AnnC but it's the way peoples mind goes.. ;-) :-S

Go away? No that is another off.

Ya got it one Sharron... :-D :-D :-D

The lovely Samantha in 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' according to the late Humphrey Littleton, selects all the recordings in the archive,which is candle-lit,The kindly old archivist sometimes has to hold the ladder while the lovely Samantha selects the records in her mini-skirt.

The kindly old archivist meanwhile,cleans the dust and wax off.

I recall my mum carrying things in her apron,

I'd love to see Samantha carrying things in her miniskirt......
Bob

Now,do I leave my sentence as it is and look silly or do I re-arrange it and make Bob look silly?

Answers on a postcard please.

Samantha was actually Ann Widdicombe. With radio, you often conjure images that are not the same in reality. ;-)

Please punctuate:

Tommy often helps his elderly Uncle Jack off his donkey.

Not quite in the same vein and I am not sure I can even remember it properly but I once saw on a pub menu something along the lines of :-

Profiteroles with cream and ice-cream and dripping with chocolate sauce.

Too many ingredients?

Woman without her man is nothing.

Where do you put the comma??

Andy

After Woman and her!!

Andy that is easy
Woman without her, man is nothing :-D

Woman, without her man, is nothing..........

Bob

and no, Sharron, your sentence was fine.......it was Humprey's way of telling em!!!

Fruit flies like a banana!!

Eats shoots and leaves

no ifs ands or buts

I notice the two men ignored my correct punctuaton!!

Here it is in full:

Woman, without her, man is nothing.

'Uncle Jack' is:

Tommy often helps his elderly Uncle, Jack, off his donkey. :-D