General Chat

I had one child who had to be checked and comforted whenever he cried due to long term illness. He turned out to be a spoiled horror when a toddler.

Other children in the family before him were left to cry if the necessaries had been checked ie nappy, wind, feeding. They turned out ok :-).

I agree with others who think That PS is being targeted for any indiscretion.

If babies don't naturally sleep well from birth or learn to drift off on there own in the 1st few months with the help of a good bedtime routine when they are sleepy there is always the need for a show down and crying it out works.
They yell loud and long the 1st night .
Considerably less the second night and a couple of minutes the 3rd then not at all after that.
Saves everyone's sanity.

My son would never settle to sleep in his room, my midwife or whoever she was (can't recall, but she was about 55 and single with no children) suggested I leave my son to crawl around on his bedroom floor playing and if he cried to leave him, and if he fell asleep on the floor, to put a blanket over him and leave him I can imagine how well that would have gone down with my neighbour who had to get up at 6am every day for work and had two older lads at school. I was a single parent and had no back up so was often at the end of my tether.

I wouldn't have rested myself anyway so the easiest thing was to get him into my bed which I did for a long time. He did sleep through the night when he was about 2 and a half thank heavens. Even now he is a night owl like me tho and has trouble getting off to sleep and he's 30.

A friend of mine used to give her daughter Phenergan which I suppose is something like Calpol, that was in the late 70s.

Lizx

I didn't hesitate with my youngest to leave her to cry it out a bit.....because in truth with the second you can't with all the will in the world give them the full on attention you can give the first.

Having said that..youngest though she went down excellently from very early on..woke regularly at 4am on the rampage ready to party lol...I couldn't leave her to cry it out at that time of the morning as it would've disturbed eldest so we spent many *happy* hours solely in each others company until the sun rose....she'd go back down after her night feed really easily though (about 1am) but it was shortlived.

she didn't EVER sleep during the day either not even the shortest nap even though the lack of rest made her tetchy and grumpy (too interested in what we were all doing and didn't want to miss anything I think lol) and she didn't go through to a reasonable hour of the morning until she started school....

Had I been in the position to leave her to it and *train* her to go back down at 4am then I'd bet my mortgage she'd have done it......it was just a question of working out priorities and eldest was at preschool and tired herself so Mummy took the bullet lol

Our gson was not only a very light sleeper but he had colic for about 4 months. It was hell! He had it day and night. After seeing dau. out on her feet, I checked with OH and son and said to her we would have him every weekend if they could cope the other 5 nights.

We all three walked the floor in turn, only time I have heard son singing hymns!!

I can understand a parent desperate for sleep who would have one crazy moment which they would regret for the rest of their life.

As I said a week ago I am very proud of him as he is now a Chartered Accountant at 23. Dau. has always said if he had been the first there would not have been a second.

I too had the crying baby, could have torn my hair out, lucky my husband had the patients of a saint, used to tell me to go away he would be the only one to calm him, or put up with the crying. I used to go in another room with cotton wool in my ears.

Two daughters no problem whatsoever.

Carol

Nothing wrong in what Philip Schofield did he was nearby and so what if he had a glass of wine with him , his daughter has grown into a lovely young woan who seems to be doing well at University and from all the comments she makes adores her mum dad and sister so obviously done her no harm at all and probably helped give her parents some sanity back as theres nothing worse than a crying baby that wont sleep.

d x

I have had one bad sleeper and two good sleepers. They are in their 30's now and they haven't changed except I don't think my daughter's husband leaves her to cry :-D

Thanks for all your interesting replies.

I would think it's more difficult to ignore with your first baby as you may fret that you are doing something wrong.

After we get confident that we can tell the 'attention' crying it's easier to know how to deal with it. Babies can be manipulative from a young age...lolol

There is definitely a difference between the very sad sob which means 'I need you' and the harsh cry which means 'I am testing you'.

I would never advocate leaving a screaming baby if you are in any doubt between the two.

Schofield did nothing wrong in my opinion.

Sue x

My mother often said she could understand how some mothers just lost it and hit their babies or just left them to cry and cry

Apparently I cried virtually non-stop for nearly 1 year - she said she came very close to doing nasty things to me!!!!

This was back in the 50's.

It is just so hard as more often than not you just do not know why they are crying.

I sometimes think that the reason they never cry in hospital is the heat.....

I never let mine cry long as very young babies as its part of a babies life its what they do. a cuddle and re-assurance soon sent them back to sleep,by 6 months they went straight to sleep ,,,,,,,,apart from the teething times,



My parents fostered and mum never let them cry themselves to sleep.

Never got stressed about bedtime so didnt get in a postition of pulling hair out,,,,,,but theres no right or wrong to it,,,,,,you react to the situation as it is,,,,,,better PS did that than something stupid....it worked for him.....

i tried controlled crying with babyS, as he didnt sleep well, hence his nickname,

but nothing seemed to work, unless i took him into my bed,

i think a lot of people have strong veiws on children crying, i myself couldnt go past 15 minutes, it just broke my heart, and altho its helps loads of people it didnt work for me, mind not much did lol,

Oh, eldest, a daughter, used to wake up through the night every two to three hours, she'd wake, I'd go in turn her over and she'd go back to sleep but we couldn't get her to sleep through, until she was 4 years old and had measles, never woke after that.

doctor said 'you'll find she is intelligent when she's older, the intelligent ones don't seem to need so much sleep. And she is, but so is son and he just slept and woke for feeds and slept through quite quickly.

When we were foster parents we had a baby for 6 months. He came to us at 10 days old direct from the hospital where he was born. He slept right through the night from 10pm until 7 or 8am from the start. His Mum used to visit (she couldn't decide whether to keep him or have him adopted) and she said he was kept in the nursery from the beginning. I reckon they'd left him to cry at first and he then learnt to sleep through, I always thought it strange, having had two of my own, that he didn't wake for a feed, but he thrived, ate well at other times and didn't seem to need a night feed.

There is plenty advice about leaving a baby to cry after all its needs have been attended to, but it's damned hard to put into practice, unless you have a will of iron!

I've only had one child, and she cried solidly for the first three months, a colicky baby. I tried hard to leave her to settle, but my emotions got the better of me every time.
It's not easy to practise what's preached, just do as your feelings dictate.

I have done exactly the same as Phillip Schofield and no doubt millions of other parents.No harm done.I think just recently he has had a lot of criticism for various comments he has made .Just bashing Phillip Schofield time I think.It will soon be someone else.

Island, I went through online comments before I posted the thread.

There were comments from self declared posters without children who were quite happily saying that Schofield didn't deserve a child etc.,

That's the comments I find unecessary and unhelpful.

Nothing like being 100% responsible for a helpless child and you are denying your most basic instinct to comfort but know if you 'give in' you will suffer as a parent and your child will feel the effects of the inevitable irritability from tiredness.

Sue x

Hi all, I did the same with my daughter and after that she slept so well I used to forget about her until I realised she hadnt been fed!!!!.I must have been a terrible mum !!!! she has grown up be a beautiful person so it didnt do her any harm.everyone has their own remedies for getting babies and young children to sleep though. :-) :-)

:-D

Gins, its a bit lat for that, :-D he,s 49 now. :-D :-D ;-)