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old age
Profile | Posted by | Options | Post Date |
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Jean | Report | 24 Dec 2012 02:47 |
m.i.l. 85yrs old, living alone. refused all help that has been offered. she told the gp to sod off...im not going into a home.... she cant cope even with the help she gets from family members..we all take her a cooked meal, do the shopping. she bins the lot. we are at a loss as to what we can do...what would you do. cant blame her for not wanting to go into a home, as i would not like to go in one. over to you folks.... |
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Sharron | Report | 24 Dec 2012 03:18 |
No point making it a battle of wills.If she doesn't want it don't make her have it. Then, when she is miserable and uncomfortable,she might realize that she does need what you are all doing. |
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wisechild | Report | 24 Dec 2012 08:35 |
My mother was exactly the same. Everything we organised to make life easier for her, she cancelled. The only person she would accept was a carer who came in a couple of times per week & was employed privately.She even cancelled visits from the GP when she got ill. |
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~Lynda~ | Report | 24 Dec 2012 08:48 |
Perhaps yourr MIL, would like to shack up with my FIL Jean, as they seem to have the same attitude, he says he can cope, but can't, we live 40 miles away, he's unwell, he doesn't realise what a worry he is to us, but what can you do? |
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GinN | Report | 24 Dec 2012 14:28 |
My Dad has refused to go into care since my Mam died 4 years ago, even though he's registered blind and only just mobile, in fact can literally do nothing for himself. Carers come in 3 times a day, and the rest is down to Hubby and myself. |
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UzziAndHerDogs | Report | 24 Dec 2012 14:40 |
Ditto Sharron. |
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Merlin | Report | 24 Dec 2012 14:42 |
If you try the Toffees :-D Remember to look for Teethmarks first. :-D Happy Christmas.xx |
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UzziAndHerDogs | Report | 24 Dec 2012 15:20 |
lol @ Merlin at 85 if it´s anything like my mother it´s the suck marks that you have to check for. |
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Bobtanian | Report | 24 Dec 2012 16:23 |
Dont eat the peanuts.........! |
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Mayfield | Report | 24 Dec 2012 17:19 |
My mum and dad should have gone into sheltered housing, dad wore mum out. |
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Sharron | Report | 24 Dec 2012 17:46 |
Can you remember how you feltwhen you were growing up and getting your various bits of independence? It is a feeling you don't want to lose isn't it. |
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Carol 430181 | Report | 24 Dec 2012 18:02 |
Same here, MIL was in sheltered housing wanted her independence, but was losing the plot. Husband used to visit every two days with meals, and bits of shopping. |
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♥†۩ Carol Paine ۩†♥ | Report | 24 Dec 2012 18:15 |
Several years ago one of our Aunts was not coping by herself, she had cared for Gran till she died in her sleep, in her own bed aged 96. Aunt O coped well alone for several years & was well known around the small town. (The old lady in the pink trainers :-D) |
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Jean | Report | 24 Dec 2012 23:56 |
after reading all the great replies, i think we will just let her do as she wants.she has the power to say yes or no, its her choice now. she has a walking frame and a commode, she refuses to use them.. we have all had a chat with her regarding care, she will have non of it. she has had a couple of falls over the past few days, shes ok just badly bruised gp called to see her and he suggested having a carer to go in, as he has many times, she went mad...told him to sling his hook and get out.... i have 5 children who care for me not having a stranger in my house. its sad to see her going downhill. she has made her mind up that she will stay where she is, dont think anything will change her mind now. will see what happens, the worry before a visit is the worst bit...all the best wishes for christmas. nite nite. |