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I feel numb, no feeling at all

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


ChrisofWessex Report 27 Jan 2013 13:44

yesterday my closest friend whom I have known for 59 years rang and said 'I have cancer'. They had diagnosed it as diverticulitis and since October in very bad pain each time she ate. Beg. Jan she saw consultant, Thursday she had an x-ray after drinking something on Wednesday which made her vomit all day/night. Turns out she has a polyp.

Whilst she was telling me all on Friday hospital rang for her to come back in Saturday, did a camera and biopsy and told her result. She has to go back tomorrow for some more tests.

She is the friend whose daughter had breast cancer 4 yrs ago and 3 yrs ago (both breasts removed) and 2 yrs ago and last year had to have more treatment as cancer returned.

We chat most days and when I went into ICU nearly 4 years ago she flew here. We talked again this morning for an hour.

Strange thing is I ordered flowers for her on Thursday but asked for delivery Saturday afternoon, they arrived just 30 minutes after she had returned home from getting this diagnosis. She said my timing was good and when I said I had ordered Thursday her remark was 'your vibes working again'.

As OH said if you were mobile you would have been on the first plane you could get.


JoyBoroAngel Report 27 Jan 2013 13:47

best thing you can do is try to stay strong and be there for her
my heart goes out to you both

Good luck to your friend xx


ChrisofWessex Report 27 Jan 2013 13:52

Joy that is it - after all those years we are more than sisters - in fact her mother adopted me when I was 38!!

I did tell her off today - she said she had to stay strong for her 4 children - youngest is 50 and one daughter lives with her. I told her that they needed to be strong - for her, that now is your time to lean, be supported and cared for, and let them.


JoyBoroAngel Report 27 Jan 2013 13:59

with luck the cancer will be confind to a small area
and be able to be removed
lets keep our fingers crossed for a good result

in the mean time laugh together cry together and kick a few doors :-( :-(


Linda Report 27 Jan 2013 14:12

My Heart goes out to you Chris, same thing happened to me last year, my friend and me had knoewn each other for 56 years but we had moved away when I was ten we kept in touch for years then lost touch for 30 years I found her on the internet in 2007 and went spent 5 wonderful days with her it was like we had never been apart. And we talked three or four times a week on the phone.

When she told me she had cancer I cried for her and me and for our friendship, but I was there for her, and Im there for her partner now when he needs to talk.

Take care Chris <3 <3


Diane Report 27 Jan 2013 15:10

Chris I'm so sorry to hear this about your friend, I'm sending positive thought's to you and your friend, you may not be able to be there with her but I'm sure she know's you would be if you could. Just knowing you are there on the other end of the phone will be a big help if she need's to talk, keep your chin up things may not be as bad as you think they are going to be :-)

Take care <3


AnninGlos Report 27 Jan 2013 15:19

I am sorry to hear this chris. I am sure that she knows you would be there to see her if you physically could. I hope they have caught the cancer in time to effect a cure so will keep her in my thoughts, and you too as you suffer with her. <3


Claddagh Report 27 Jan 2013 16:37

I am very sorry to read this Chris, as I have been there too.My closest friend here in Holland died in 2006(just months after my beloved aunty who lived with me)....leaves a big gaping hole, so I can understand how you must be feeling.I sincerely hope her cancer has been caught in time, bless her.
I don't believe in coincidences, but do believe in telepathy, so you unwittingly sent those flowers when she sorely needed them. That's what I really believe in.
I wish you all the strength and courage to get through the coming time, as i do for your friend too. !!!
Bless you all.

Eileen xx


ChrisofWessex Report 27 Jan 2013 22:22

Thank you allxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


DIZZI Report 27 Jan 2013 22:44

Chris sending what strength I have to you and her ,



Sylvia Report 27 Jan 2013 22:59

Sending positive thoughts to your friend Chris. xx

Dizzi I have not been on for a week. Hope you are getting better with each day.



ChrisofWessex Report 27 Jan 2013 22:59

Thank you Dizzi, you take care. How is the new bed going?


MrDaff Report 27 Jan 2013 23:07

Lost two this weekend.
One a good, long standing friend and the other a respected work associate.
But in my 'circle', they are/were as close to being family members as you can get without being related.
Both 'young' as well.
Both with cancer.

Chris, wish you both strength and courage.


ChrisofWessex Report 27 Jan 2013 23:13

Thank you MrDaff for your thoughts and mine go to you as well. It is a cruel disease.

My friend is a strong person and I just hope it has been caught early. Take care


DIZZI Report 27 Jan 2013 23:32

It's all a lot slower and harder than I expected

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 28 Jan 2013 06:41

Chris, so sorry to read this news and hope your friend can be helped to fight this horrible illness. I hope her family will realise she is trying to be strong for them and tell her it's ok to lean on them altho being strong might be the way she is and will help her to cope. So long as you are there at the end of the phone for her to let off steam with when she maybe can't talk to others, you will be doing almost as much good as being with her in person.

Take care of yourself - I wish you strength to help your friend at such a difficult time, best wishes to her



ChrisofWessex Report 28 Jan 2013 12:10

Liz, the bit about letting off steam made me smile, as over all the years, we each have called our offspring for everything under the sun! We have wept together, laughed hysterically at nothing at all.

She came on holiday abroad with us and we swore the other guests in the hotel did not know which one of us my OH was married to!

Thank you for your thoughts, they are much appreciated.

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond

Purple **^*Sparkly*^** Diamond Report 29 Jan 2013 05:37

What a lovely friendship you have Chris, I hope it can continue for a long time yet. I think if you try to behave as you usually do when talking with your friend and just go along with the way she leads you, you will know each other well enough to know when to chat and poke fun and when to be serious. I am sure your support will be worth lots to her.



ChrisofWessex Report 29 Jan 2013 15:53

Liz, we do and have just been talking to her, laughing and being positive!


GinN Report 29 Jan 2013 19:26

Chris, as a cancer survivor myself, I'm sending positive thoughts to you and your friend. Please keep upbeat, it's a shock to get that initial diagnosis, but treatment is so very effective these days. It's great that she has such a friend to share her feelings with.