General Chat

Reminds me,......


A lady was on a cruise ship, and as you do she met Joe,a hunky type guy and seeing as they got along quite well, as the holiday progressed, the relationship developed a bit further, into the bedroom in fact, and several times she asked him what his name was,Joe he smiled, no your other name, he said No, I wont tell you that, its a bit embarrassing. and as the cruise went from one island to another, several times she asked him his name, No he said, you will laugh at me........after about two months the cruise was coming to an end and finally he decided to tell...............its Snow, Joseph Snow,he said, and she did,she burst out laughing....See I told you you'd laugh, he said.......
and she replied,..........
No its your name that I'm laughing at. just cant wait till I tell my friends at home,that on a carribean cruise,
Ive had 10 inches of snow, each day...........

Bob

On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week or so later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.


A few days later they were again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?"


Then with the love and understanding that all long-married husbands possess, he replied.......





"Why don't you just leave the bloody car in the garage this time?"

:-D

The car is fantastic, especially as it is the basic model.

It even shows you what gear you should be in (it's a manual car not an automatic) eg if you revs are too low it shows that you should be in a lower gear and that if the revs are too high then you should be in a higher gear.

OH took it into town yesterday and not wanting to be at odds with the car went out looking quite smart in jeans and a blouse.

She came home in tears. The car kept on telling her to change gear: it said that she should be in shorts and a 'T' shirt

:-D :-D

lol PH :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

My friend always exits a car by climbing out of the sun roof.

She thinks it's because she was born by caesarean section.

:-D

Brilliant Allan - You have made my day.

I knew a circus clown who sent his new car back to the maufactureres because the doors wouln't fall off.

GP

Hope the new car is not a Mustang.........

it might get towed away, minced and eaten

I may just stick to waving my bank book..either of the others could blow away and be a great loss either collectively, or individually :-(

Not sure, Allan. The ones you you delicately wave through your open car window :-D

Would that be crown or family, John? ;-)

Allan. Everytime I look at your Avatar, I think "my, that Allan is a very attractive fella ;-)

You look a bit like the poet John Milton when he was at University. I can see you proudly waving your jewels through the window of your lovely new car. :-D :-D

lol...it's better than being responsible for putting a scowl on your face :-)

Well Allan I have to say you always put a smile on my face :-D :-D

Hi Ann...I have been known to bowl a maiden over :-D

oh Allan - surely you're not telling us you bat from the pavilion end are you :-)
- all my dreams are shattered :-(

:-D :-D :-D x

Well, Mr Daff, I think that any model would be more attracted to the size of my bank balance than by anything else that I could offer :-D

Sure PH and I'm the Queen of Sheba

*waves with a limp wrist and a with a slight lisp*

P.S.............I am a bloke........trust me....i knows about these fings!!

;-) ;-)