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Tonights "safe" Joke.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 7 Jun 2013 20:51

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says,
"I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son.
The son says, Okay, Okay. I was at a friend's house watching
movies.
Dad asks, What movie did you watch
Son says, Toy Story." The robot slaps the son.
Son says, Okay, Okay, we were watching p*rn
Dad says, What? At your age I didn't even know what p*rn was
The robot slaps the father.

Mum laughs and says, Well, he certainly is your son. The robot
slaps the mother.



Robot for sale.

:-D :-D

Barbinsglos

Barbinsglos Report 7 Jun 2013 20:53

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Wend

Wend Report 7 Jun 2013 20:56

Good one, Mr. M. :-D :-D :-D

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 7 Jun 2013 22:08

Wotchoo loike Mr Magoo!!

:-D :-D :-D

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 7 Jun 2013 22:18

Another one for the dinner party PH ?........... ;-) :-D

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 7 Jun 2013 22:22

:-D :-D :-D :-D

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 7 Jun 2013 22:32

Rather than try to remember all these jokes............

I think i will just invite you along to the next dinner party Mr Magoo...... :-D :-D

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 7 Jun 2013 23:32

Well now there's an offer.......... :-D

What's the dress code ?

Wend

Wend Report 7 Jun 2013 23:47

She rather favours mankinis Mr. M.

If you're up to it ;-)

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 7 Jun 2013 23:54

Not sure about that Wend............would feel a right..............errrrrrrrrrrrrmmmm.......... ;-)

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 7 Jun 2013 23:58

I thought i looked rather gawgiss last week at my dinner party, dressed in me lime green mankini Wend.........

Until someone whispered in my ear..........."Pssst, Prickles.........you got it on back to bleddy front!!!"


. :-0 :-0 :-0

Wend

Wend Report 8 Jun 2013 00:13

Are you really a bloke then Prickles?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> off to bed, shaking me head, feeling bewildered :-0

All this time and I thought Prickles was a laydee :-S

BarneyKent

BarneyKent Report 8 Jun 2013 11:33

Reminds me of this one:

Two sailors die and as they approach the Pearly Gates, St Peter says, "Oh no! You two are sinners, you do not get in here."

The sailors say, "Oh please let us in, we fought for our country."

St Peter says, "OK, but you are on probation, here are your temporary wings, but one evil thought and the wings fall off and you go to the other place."

The sailors put the wings on and enter Heaven. As they walk around a pretty angel walks by, blond, blue eyes, figure to die for.

The wings fall of one of the sailors. He bends down to pick them up and the wings fall off the other sailor.

PricklyHolly

PricklyHolly Report 8 Jun 2013 11:39

Wend.........

I's a woooooman.........wubble u oh em ay en..........ah say it again!

:-D :-D

LadyScozz

LadyScozz Report 8 Jun 2013 11:56

hmmm

funny one Mr M, but why didn't you get told off, like I did? Shouldn't tell jokes about "domestic violence"!!

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 8 Jun 2013 12:29

I didn't know you got told off Scozz.......when was that ?...... :-(

LadyScozz

LadyScozz Report 8 Jun 2013 13:30

Was kinda funny...

The joke I posted about three men who married women of different nationalities.

It wasn't reported, but somebody didn't like it.

:-(

LadyScozz

LadyScozz Report 8 Jun 2013 13:33

I'll take the risk and post it again :-D

Three male friends married women from different parts of the world.

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Australia. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. His arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he goes for a pee.

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 8 Jun 2013 23:38

Like it Scozz......... :-D :-D

nothing untoward with that joke....... :-P

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 8 Jun 2013 23:51

All good jokes :-D :-D

Scozz - someone's had a humour by-pass