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peter hayhow

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Mumsy Report 27 Nov 2012 17:02

i have just heard from the agency peter was adopted from saying they do have his records , asking if i would like to meet but due to unforseen circumstances in my family i will have to put them on hold for a while


Reggie Report 27 Nov 2012 23:06

After all the kerfuffle on here.............I thought you wanted to contact this lad...........

If the agency have told him that you are asking about him, he's going to wonder why you suddenly changed your mind.

I know what my reaction would be in his place...........

Also.............please try to stop double-posting everything

And your rudeness is appalling (9th Nov)


Penny Report 28 Nov 2012 06:31

Gosh, thats a bit rough.
Contrary to common belief, adoption agencies do not keep tabs on adoptees. They will, of course, have his records if they aranged his adoption, but presumably what they have in his file is something from him indicating his desire to trace his origins. They wouldn't ask you if you wanted to meet him otherwise- They wouldnt approach an adoptee with out the adoptee aproaching them first.

How confusing for him, he wants to know where he came from and has started the ball caught the ball and flung it outside the playing area


Mumsy Report 28 Nov 2012 14:51

who does reg think he is as he doesnt know my family circumstances at the moment i will be quite willing to see the social worker when i think the time and my home circumstances have improved. :-P


Reggie Report 28 Nov 2012 15:00

I feel really sorry for this unfortunate man...............he will be feeling 'rejected' all over again

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 28 Nov 2012 15:20

Mumsy, without knowing how serious the family situation is, I think you should consider that delaying might well cause this young man to change his mind about meeting you, sometimes if you decide to 'wait for the right time' , that time never comes at all. I don't think I'd risk that myself, if I'd waited so long .


Mumsy Report 28 Nov 2012 15:34

i know what you mean i have been in contact with the social worker who does understand my situation and we are going to wait and see how my home circumstances are. ;-)


Michelle Report 13 May 2013 18:13

After reading what's been wrote I can confirm at the time this was wrote my family was going through an awful time with a family member that has only just recently been resolved but still a long healing process. This was unfortunate timing and couldn't be helped. I don't think the family could deal with what was going on and trying to find our long lost brother. I just hope he understands that, as when/if he finally wants to meet us he can appreciate what we was going through at the time and had to delay it my 6 months.

My mother didnt mean to come across rude, she is new to technology and doesn't quite understand the implications of putting in the wrong emote or how text can come across. I have to train her :-)

If anyone can help in anyway that would be great. Please be patient with my mum (mumsy) she is new to this and doesn't know how thugs have double posted.


Michelle Report 13 May 2013 18:15

Typing on an iPhone is disgraceful! My=by and thugs=things. Sorry.

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 13 May 2013 18:43

Hi Michelle I'm replying because I previously added to the thread. I'm glad that you have got through a difficult time.

I don't know that there is any more help that is needed? assuming that your mum has made contact with the agency that handled the adoption, they will still be in touch with Peter I assume, it will then be up to him as to whether he still wants contact.


Sheila Report 13 May 2013 19:09


Hopefully the agency has now details of Peter and his new address now. We do have a group on the in-net if you need an help or support with this search etc let me know and I can send you the link :)


Michelle Report 13 May 2013 20:39

Mum said that she will be contacting the SS about it.

Just wanted to say about my mums lack of technology experiance, bless her. She didnt mean to come across rude and at the time of posting she just got a new laptop so was all new to it,

Hopefully soon ill get to meet him, just hope he likes us as there is a major age gap between me and him but not so with the other 2 :(.

Thanks Shila, i might take you up on that offer :)



Sheila Report 13 May 2013 22:22


We have an expression 'baby steps', take your time to get to know each other and hopefully all will be well, and send me a message if you need the link, Good Luck ! :)


Michelle Report 13 May 2013 23:02

Thank you Sheila


Locator Report 14 May 2013 10:40

Good Luck Michelle