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Trying to find mum

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Penny

Penny Report 9 Apr 2013 06:10

That's good, Kenneth is allowed to be rude to me, I get reported for rude reply back!

Choccy

Choccy Report 9 Apr 2013 07:39



A 'third party' approach is not the route I would have taken, but as Robin has made that decision I hope it all works out well for him.

I hope that Kenneth's approach to the relatives is more polite than his response to Penny's posting.



Kenneth

Kenneth Report 9 Apr 2013 09:28

I have in the past helped many people find birth fathers or mothers,
or other relatives, and have never been accused of insensitivity, I
have always tried to make contact via younger members of the
families, I have a strong possible contact for a sister and cousin,
if because of so called advice from those that believe they are more worldly
wise, Robin decides to do the contacting himself, so be it.
I wonder if the person who reported Penny, was one of those who
PM me with kind remarks in relationship to my offer of direct help.
REDKEN

Penny

Penny Report 9 Apr 2013 10:39

Cant see its right myself to EVER approach ANYONE except the person that categorically knows the fats - that is, and can only ever be The birth mother.

Kenneth

Kenneth Report 9 Apr 2013 11:06

Penny I can only try to help in a honest and sensitive way, if it
does not meet with you approval, I really am not bothered.

Penny

Penny Report 9 Apr 2013 12:48

OK, so what right does my cousin have to know my business- or for you to tell them?

What right do my chidren have to know of what they might percieve as unnacepable behaviour on my part?

Shoouldn't i be the one to ask, if i was in the situation you describe?

Feedom

Feedom Report 9 Apr 2013 22:47

Hi guys

I am very pleased that you all are helping me out to find my family. It has been good to put the tree together and receive all the address and contact details. Since I am in Australia it is harder for me to obtain information. In the past few days I have received so much information which I have to thank all you wonderful people that are taking the time and effort to seek out the information for me.

I will make contact however I too am going very cautiously. I need to approach the right person. So I am taking all of your advise. Many cousellors make for good decisions.

So as the infomation comes to hand I am putting the peices together.

Feedom

Feedom Report 9 Apr 2013 22:51

Just to let you know that I was adopt out to another english family two months after my birh. They migrated out to Australia shortly after I was placed in their care. So no I have never met my birth mother or family.

Penny

Penny Report 10 Apr 2013 06:08

Sounds like you have the right approach Robin .take it slowly and carefully.
Thing is, you will only get one chance to make the 'first contact' If someone does it for you , you have lost that chance to say what it was you really wanted to .
Its all very well to think 'If soeone makes the contact , then I'll write'' But if that initial contact meets with rejection you are stuffed.
When A post adoption Social worker write they do so in a certain way,- they write and introduce the idea, not the person.

I wish you luck. I have done it, with limited success, bith mother is now dead, so there is no more to be had

Kenneth

Kenneth Report 11 Apr 2013 11:19

Have had a pleasant chat with Robin`s cousin, her brother and mother
were with her when I rang, she sounded a strong but very likable person, with her guidance I hope there is positive result to Robin`s quest, have PM her email address to Robin.