Find Living Relatives

I am trying to trace my mother Harpreet Kaur- if she has remarried then this may have changed obviously. My mother left when I was 3 months old and I am now 32 years old. I am told she may have moved to the Nottingham or Birmingham area from Chatham where she lived with my Dad. Nobody seems to know where she is but I think they just don't want to say.

This really is just a message to see if she find me and wants to get in touch.

Thanks

Neelam

Welcome to the boards Neelam.

Could you tell us if that is her birth or married name, where you have looked for her, if you know of any of her relatives, about how old she is?

Have you put her in your tree on here, and looked to see if she is in anyone's tree?

(Just looked - in your tree born 1957 - do you know where?)

Unfortunately Harpreeet Kaur is a very common name and more than 200 hits on 192.com.

Looking at the marriages that sems to be her maiden name .did she marry your dad in Leicestershire ?

If so should we be looking for her a surname Grewal ?

Hi All,

I am really not sure on her Maiden name, I am told it may have been Gill by a relative but her marriage record shows it to be Kaur. She married my Dad in Chatham in 1981 who use Singh as his surname instead of Grewal by the looks of things. She was born in India and arrived in the UK in 1981.

I can't find any divorce record online but my dad has remarried so there should be one somewhere.

Also I have guessed her age. Don't know this for sure.

Thanks for your messages

Neelam

Well her age will be on their marriage cert and her father's name too .

If she remarried as either Singh or Grewal or Kaur then it's all uphill search as there are very many of the same names I,m afraid

Don't forget that Singh (male) and Kaur (female) are used to denote followers of the Sikh faith. They are not the family surname. How is she recorded on your BC?

Having said that, as long as it isn't for illegal purposes, anyone can use what ever name they chose.

If you wanted to search for the decree Nisi for your parents, this will tell you how to go about it
http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/records/looking-for-person/divorce.htm

He is listed as Singh on the gro records

Do you know how to purchase a copy of their marriage cert Neelam?

She is recorded on my Birth Certificate as Harpreet Kaur.

I have looked at the link Detective but can only see records to a certain date. For 1981 I will need to send off the form which I will do. Just don't know how much help it will be.

No Shirley I have no idea? Is it possible?

Thanks

https://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/certificates/


This is the site to order birth and marriage certs from.

Yes You can get the cert you need the GRO ref to order it from the GRO

Will PM you with the ref you need


You have to register on the site. ,free, and then follow the order form . Don't forget to tick the box that asks if the GRO. Ref is known then fill it in in the apropriate boxes


You only need to quote one of your parents names on the order form

Just to add, when you get the cert, if you are lucky there will be an address for her. If so it might be worth checking out the electoral register for the address to see who else was living there.
The witnesses to the marriage might also give you some leads.
Good luck!
Jan

Hi Jan,

I can't really ask my Dad as he is remarried and I have 3 siblings from his new wife. I dint really want to tell them I'm looking for her as they wouldn't understand.

I know the address they lived at as they lived with my dads brother and his family at the time. As my dad found my mum in India and brought her over here I don't know who she knew in the UK. Just heard rumours she new people in Birmingham and Nottingham.

For all I know she may have returned to India.

I'm hoping the witness was someone my mum knew in the UK As that seems the only lead.

Thank you x

I see the problem. It's a pity you can't ask your father isn't it. Are you sure he wouldn't be sympathetic?
I wish you lots of luck, let us know how you get on won't you.
Jsn

No, sadly not- I'm going to try and find her on my own- I have asked another relative who remembers parts from that episode in life and she is going to try and help.

I may have to try and find my mothers relatives in India in order to find her. The man who introduced my mother to my father lives in Canada but is 94 years old now and is struggling to remember things.

Don't know why I left it so long.... i've been wanting to find her more recently after giving birth to my son.

Thanks again

Bearing in mind the culture of the time – might your mother have been from the same village/area as your Dad (or paternal grandparents) or be some sort of relation such as a cousin?
The older generation might be willing to shed light in that direction if it could be raised casually.

Things may be better of left as they are – as long as you get your mother and her father’s name on to the web, they or other relatives may one day stumble across this thread.

At least you know where she came from then, I imagine? Fingers crossed that gentleman will remember at least something about her family.
Armed with that and the marriage cert you might be in with a chance.
Jan

just another faint hope possibility - if they were married at a gurdwara or otherwise had a Sikh officiant, the congregation may have records and even someone with living memory of the couple and some knowledge of your mother.

the marriage certificate will tell you where the wedding took place and who the officiant was, as well as the witnesses as Jan mentioned

and you could try contacting the congregation to see whether any other records are available, for instance anything that would indicate where your mother came to England from or whether she had family in England, or there is anyone you could speak with there who might have any memory of her.

and on what DET said about divorce records, I'm not sure about decrees nisi, but you can obtain the decree absolute ... I don't know how much information that would have but it might have an address for service for your mother

http://hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/d440-eng.pdf

the names of both spouses are required ... I would expect, hope, that the divorce would have had to be in the same names as the marriage

the decree would, I think, tell you what court the divorce was obtained in, to apply for other records in the divorce action, although they may not still exist, I don't know


also, if your mother followed traditional Sikh practice, I believe her surname would not have changed with marriage (although in western countries that practice is sometimes abandoned)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaur

so it is quite possible that if she remarried it was as Kaur

what is slightly odd is that your birth registration shows her 'surname', in the index, as Harpreet Kaur ... I assume this was just some incomprehension on the part of registration officials

there are actually 19 records in the births index with that 'surname', a few with an additional surname at the end

but as I understand it, Harpreet is in fact a given name

hi
there are 190 Harpreet Kaur in uk

When you have done all the above research, if you get nowhere I suggest you check out all possible marriages for Harpreet K. Grewal. There are only 10. A long shot but if all else fails you might as well try, as looking for Harpreet Kaur marriages is an impossible task.
Jan