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Please moderate the Find Living Relatives board

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


SylviaInCanada Report 28 May 2012 15:12

FIY, and warning .............

I have just received 2 emails from GR, each warning me that a post of mine has been reported for "breaching guidelines and terms and conditions." and "Continuing to create content of this nature may result in your eventual removal from the site.".

Both of my posts followed warnings given by myself and others to an OP who had posted information re looking for a father, but he clearly has no firm information and is working down a 'list of possibles' (as RRose put it, but I also can't think of a better phrase in this case), gleaned from gossip regarding men his mother might have known at the time.

At least 3 have been named so far. Some helpers have provided information on how to contact 2 of the men ............. and he has reported back that both have convinced him that they are not his father ........... one even having requested that he be contacted in private not through FB. He is now looking for the 3rd man.

He considered me arrogant and that I had demeaned him by posting a warning on the open board ....... and in fact posted a message to me that I considered so extremely personally objectionable that I reported it ..... and GR did indeed remove it.

He then launched another attack on me last night. It was my responses to that that resulted in my getting the 2 emails from GR.

The second post from me in fact was "lol! This is getting very funny' Good job I have a very good sense of humour." ................ he obviously objected to that!

He also has another thread where he has said the most awful things about his mother.

All his threads, and the information therein, can now be found on Google.

just be careful!



wisechild Report 28 May 2012 15:40

This seems to be happening more & more recently, not just on the living relatives board, but any time a poster doesn´t hear what they want to hear.
I was warned by another member via a pm only last week when I tried to help a poster. Luckily I had already sussed them out, but it´s getting to the stage where we daren´t answer queries for fear of being verbally attacked & then having our hands slapped by GR.


SylviaInCanada Report 28 May 2012 16:17

Thank heavens ......

the thread that names the possible fathers (not to mention the attacks on me) has gone ...... it went within the last 5 minutes. No idea whether the poster or GR are responsible.

Unfortunately, all of the information on that thread is still available on the web


Joy Kentish Maid

Joy Kentish Maid Report 29 May 2012 10:49

This matter has become even more urgent.

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 29 May 2012 11:11

Joy, having asked GR to remove a post yesterday ( request refused ) I have asked for a personal response to my concerns that random names are being posted as possible fathers without any proof, or discretion, or thought for the families who may be damaged by finding details broadcast on the internet, especially after it has already been established as far as possible that the person (or persons) named is NOT the father.

This applies not to just one case but several over the last month or so.

EDIT to add just recieved the standard response re 'report to abuse' , I have asked that someone either respond to my ACTUAL points or at very least read this thread and comment


Joy Kentish Maid

Joy Kentish Maid Report 30 May 2012 09:55

Thank you, Rose.
I hope that that someone will respond to your ACTUAL points.

Joy Kentish Maid

Joy Kentish Maid Report 30 May 2012 10:12

My post that has been requested for review was:

"Thank you, Rose.
I hope that that someone will respond to your ACTUAL points."

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 30 May 2012 10:26

:-( Joy,

well they haven't as yet, and I doubt I will.

J* Near M3.Jct4

J* Near M3.Jct4 Report 30 May 2012 10:53

Hello Rose - as you know I am a 'reader/watcher' - some of the recent posts on Living Relatives have been 'awful' - I am trying to be polite!

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 30 May 2012 11:05

Hello J* :-D

I have always liked to help where possible on the boards, but I'm pulling out from helping on FLR now.


wisechild Report 30 May 2012 13:11

I´ve steered clear of offering help on the living relatives board since it´s inception, mainly because I don´t have the expertise to offer advice.
Having watched it over the past few months I have been extremely worried about the amount of info being offered by OPs concerning people who may or may not be alive, particularly when seeking birth parents.
As all the info on here goes straight to Google. would it not be a good idea to suggest in the guidelines that people just ask for info about where to start looking for birth parents/adoption details without giving personal info and for Genes to monitor more closely the information given by the OPs.
I do understand that people want to know who their birth parents are, but I don´t think this site is the best place to make enquiries.


Eringobragh1916 Report 30 May 2012 14:12

GR do not supply the information to those seeking Living Relatives it is Members of GR who in their misguided thinking believe they are helping...neither they nor the team at GR have the knowledge or expertise to deal with the majority of queries posted or to "Moderate" ...(and that can be interpreted more ways than enough by GR)
The LRB would die a death through natural causes if Members stopped responding !

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 30 May 2012 14:35

In an ideal world Eringobragh, that would be the case but while GR is making money from it ( on the back of sponsoring Long Lost familes) the board will remain and if boycotted by the more 'experienced' helpers will still have plenty of members with less caution offering help.

My rationale, and perhaps others felt the same, was that in general I could help genuine and reasonable searchers whilst advising them to go slowly if making contact and through appropriate channels if possible.. rather than leave it to those who, for eg, give out phone numbers at the drop of a hat.


wisechild Report 30 May 2012 14:51

Quite agree with the 2 previous posters.
Before long, someone is going to find themselves being sued while inadvertently trying to help, to say nothing of the unpleasantness that some helpers have been subjected to because they don´t have a crystal ball.

Joy Kentish Maid

Joy Kentish Maid Report 30 May 2012 15:25

Thank you, GR, for reinstating my post of 30 May 2012 09:55.

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 30 May 2012 15:31

"Dear Rambling Rose

Thank you for your email,

I have taken a look at the thread you have supplied and I cannot see that there has been no breach of our guidelines, so we will not be removing this thread.

I am sorry for any disappointment caused.

Kind Regards,

Alex Brett"

which WAS NOT answering the query I made, never mind the double negative :-0 I give up.


wisechild Report 30 May 2012 15:48

What planet are they on if they can´t see the potential pitfalls which have been spelled out to them on several occasions.
Boycotting the boards will potentially only make matters worse as the queries will be answered by well meaning, but inexperienced helpers.


SylviaInCanada Report 30 May 2012 16:13

"and I cannot see that there has been no breach of our guidelines, ..."

That means that there HAS been a breach of the guidelines, and therefore the thread SHOULD have been removed


Joy Kentish Maid

Joy Kentish Maid Report 31 May 2012 08:06

Personal and verbally abusive posts about people have been put in the find living relatives board.

It is known that once something has been posted on the internet, it can be seen again, even if removed from a board.

I am appalled that Genes Reunited allow this board to continue without prior moderation of it.

Rambling Rose

Rambling Rose Report 31 May 2012 10:41

Final email rec from GR ....and the third NOT to give an answer to the points raised...

"Dear Rose
Thank you for your email,

I am sorry, as previously advised the thread does not breach our guidelines so we will not be removing it.

I am afraid we cannot be of any further help in this matter.

Kind Regards,

Genes Reunited Support Team

Nothing more to say..