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oh nooooes

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


JaneyCanuck Report 14 Jul 2010 20:01

I been banned. From the discussion boards. Sigh and sob.


JaneyCanuck Report 14 Jul 2010 20:01

But -- how it be, that I be banned and yet I post??

I hear ye cry.

Not *these* discussion boards, you sillies!

Now, I have a new distinction.

I been banned from the discussion boards at



Uh ... what's eharmony? ... I hear some mutter.

Oh, surely not. Surely you aren't spared the neverending warm the cockles of your heart true romance free communication weekend cute couple eharmony television commercials??

Fishface the preening narcissist and her oh so handsome beau, opening her little booteek (where she sells feathery things named after biblical tales)? All the other satisfied customers, hugging and smiling for the camera?

It's kinda like GR in that way. Eharmony claims to be responsible for something like 3% of the marriages in 'merica, on any given day. Well, not if you listen to the people on the discussion boards. ;) ... It's much like GR that way ...

Anyhow, I'd signed on a couple of years ago because, of course, I wanted to do all the personality tests and, uh, stuff. And then lo and behold, about a year later, they sent me a match! Snork.

Then when I was at a loose end from work back in the winter, I went poking around and found they had discussion boards. Yay. I lasted about a day before I got a post deleted and told I must be respectful at all times. Yeah, of knuckle-dragging right-wing loonytarian cretins. I wandered off again. Then last week I thought I'd reply to the chiding moderator email from February. Didn't get an answer -- but next day I went to post something -- something perfectly *nice*!! -- and bingo, banned. Reason for ban: "banned from discussion boards". That struck me as reasonable.

Of course, since you don't have to pay to post on the discussion boards (just to try to find a date), well, we all know how this story ends. Or continues. ;)

So if yer looking for dating tips, c'mon over! I'll be happy to oblige.

Or what the heck, just ask me here. Want to know why you can't seem to get a date? I'll be happy to tell you!


Nyx Report 14 Jul 2010 20:05

LOL (and again LOL because the thought of you being banned from there has just tickled me ) ...we have the adverts for eharmony on telly here at the moment ... :))

Dear Janey...why can't I get a date... ?



Nyx Report 14 Jul 2010 20:06

This is not strictly true that I can't get a date , why only this week I have had 20 requests for the pleasure of speaking, emailing, or even meeting me... but then they've never met me, nor seen a picture, nor read my opinionated comments on here..... lol


JaneyCanuck Report 14 Jul 2010 20:11

Well RR, obviously you have not read all of the materials you are supposed to have read before even trying.

First, where is your photograph?? Guys do not date girls who do not post their photographs.

Now, here you may find yourself in a double bind.

Guys also do not date fat chicks. Note that I am not calling you a fat chick. It's just that since you have not posted a pic and have not expressly stated your height, weight and body mass index, I can only assume you are a fat chick.

When queried on this universal truth -- to refresh your memory, guys do not date fat chicks -- many of them squawk loudly and offer the riposte that girls do not date short geezers. Everyone knows the truth of that statement, of course.

What we have yet to figure out is whether short geezers date fat chicks. But we will assume they would, because the fault must lie with you somewhere somehow.

So what it comes down to is: you are obviously discriminating against the vertically challenged among us, any one of whom would leap at the chance to date a fat chick such as yourself.

Get over yourself.


JaneyCanuck Report 14 Jul 2010 20:14

I see that in the interim you have posted disclaimers.

RR, no guy wants to hear about the other guys in your life. Have you no concern for your man's delicate ego??

I might venture to hazard the surmise that you are attracting the wrong sort of man. Obviously, this is your doing.

All you need to do is post those pics, and the importuning pests will go away.

Get over yourself.


Nyx Report 14 Jul 2010 20:17

LOL Jeez Janey I didn't know you could see me through this screen... fat chick lol :)) I can take it...

it is true alas that I am not the slim sylph-like teenager I once was... my big mistake was begging the Gods that I should be granted a bigger bust.... I got what I wanted...but wasn't specific enough to say i wanted the rest of me slim lol.

I can now only be loved for my mind ...........


JaneyCanuck Report 14 Jul 2010 20:23

It is your plain lack of will power and responsibility that is your problem.

Do you not know that obesity is the number one killer of fat chicks such as yourself? And you would probably just feed fatty stuff to any guy you might get, so that he might also have a bigger bust and die young, preferably before you, so you can wallow in any of the cash he had left when he died that you hadn't already spent at the mall. All in all, you are obviously a gold-digging suicidal homicidal maniac. Oh, and I have no doubt that you demand equality in the workplace (and file unfounded complaints of harassment against menz) but claim your due as a woman on dates: to have your doors opened, your chair pushed in and out, and your tab paid.

Get yourself a backbone, a personal trainer, an 18-inch waist, and implants. And get over yourself.


Foggy Report 14 Jul 2010 20:29

Rose,....behave are NOT fat.


Nyx Report 14 Jul 2010 20:31

I never go for anyone with money even if any of them shuffled off this mortal coil before me ( obese or otherwise) there would be no money left to me....

and of course you are making the assumption there that I am capable of cooking fattening dishes... maybe this is my downfall ? that if 'the way to a mans heart is through his stomach' being a non-cook has me at a disadvantage before I start?

I fear you are right about my lack of will power though ( and possibly the homicidal, suicidal maniac bit if I'm honest).... and an inborn knack for falling in love with the men who fit none of the 'criteria' that make for my perfect match ( except in all cases so far a love of music) . I need a blind musician who likes to eat out, and doesn't mind fat chicks to


Nyx Report 14 Jul 2010 20:31

aww bless you Foggy , you are kind :))


Nyx Report 14 Jul 2010 20:32

PS my typings not too hot either...typo's corrected below lol


JaneyCanuck Report 14 Jul 2010 20:33

Ah. We have been joined by a short geezer, I see.

This should meet my marriage quota for the evening!

Sign the release here, and we'll send the cameras over to film the wedding. Make it soon, please. I don't get my commission until the deal is sealed.


Foggy Report 14 Jul 2010 20:36

A short


JaneyCanuck Report 14 Jul 2010 20:37

Oh RR, I see your latest, and I urge you: accept Foggy's petition for your hand. You are obviously a hopeless case, otherwise.

If you cook, you can try making the argument that you're being an "equal". He takes you out for fancy drinks and a classy dinner and to an expensive show, and you cook him meatloaf.

If you're not prepared to cook (and dish up, by the way) the meatloaf, you haven't a leg to stand on, and will be left going Dutch with losers forever.

If you want to take your chances, don't say you weren't warned.

If one of them does happen to ask you to dress in very short shorts and a halter to ride on the back of his motorbike to the nude beach he has arranged for your second date to take place at, accede to the demand, uh, flirtily. But ladylikely. It is your last best hope.

I'll bet you think I'm making this up ...


Nyx Report 14 Jul 2010 20:37

ah Janey, but Foggy is not short :)


Nyx Report 14 Jul 2010 20:38

lol I think it possible that in the cooking stakes at least Foggy and I are equals lol ;)


Foggy Report 14 Jul 2010 20:40

I think I just may be a lot worse than you young


JaneyCanuck Report 14 Jul 2010 20:41

Well, you are doubtless setting your sights too high if you aim for him, then!

You fat chicks and your refusal to accept reality.

Get over yourself!!!!


Nyx Report 14 Jul 2010 20:43

not possible Foggy... though my son did say the 'Eve pudding' I made last night was very nice... and I do baked beans on toast ok for him lol