General Chat

When you got married what words did you use in the ceremony?

My husband and I promised to share. Certainly the church service includes those words.

A marriage means sharing or it might just as well not have happened.

Obviously we all tend to have our own personal items which we have given each other or had as Christmas or Birthday presents over the years but our home and garden belongs to us both. The money my mother-in-law left my husband is in large part in my name or our joint names because of the way our financial advisor has sorted it all.

If after that many years a man still thinks a family home and garden are his alone then he has little respect or true love for the woman who has shared his life. I wonder how he treats you otherwise because I can't see him being generous and caring if this is how he treats things he knows you care about.

Time to get a life I think. Good luck

Sue
x

Elaine, having known of your situation for some time,I fully understood and as regards my set up, I am only staying at o.h.'s house as my house needs work but due to health and financial problems I cannot do anything much at the mo.
Legally I have less claim than you Elaine so hope you can get some good legal advice and things get better for you, I hope you have kept receipts or proof of things you have bought for your home even if he says it is his house.

My situation is different in that we are not married and I do have a house of my own, albeit not habitable at the moment but so long as I sort myself out before he snuffs it I will be ok lol


Good luck Elaine.
Lizx

Elaine/flying doctor

You sound as if you endure life,and don't enjoy it at all.If you find no joy living with this man,get out of the situation,remove yourself from it.Honestly,the way you describe yourself,you sound like a housekeeper',not a wife in a loving marriage.Don't you deserve better than the way you are treated now? For your life to improve,you have to be strong enough to force a change.If you stay in the same loveless rut that you are in,you will just keep on getting the same old stuff.If you have any pride or self respect left,you will realise that this situation is totally unacceptable,and you must do something about it.(I've been there,done that,and came out a stronger person for it.) But only you can do it,and will know when you can't put up with it any longer.

Good luck, xx

Margot. XX

What's more important - a tree or a family tree?

I thought for a second that he took a chain-saw to your family tree!

If my other half willfully destroyed anything of 'mine' then there would be hell to pay, then again we don't have the yours and mine view (except for a few personal items) everythings 'ours'.

I'm not sure if this is an attitude more prevelant in older generations, as they didn't grow up with the concept of when a divorce occurs everything gets split 50:50 regardless of who went out to work (I know its more complicated than that, but thats a concept the generation I am part of knows very well).

I wouldn't have put up with a partner for 51 days if they had such an attitude no matter 51 years.

I am guessing these stubborn old men do have there good points but that anyone looking in on the relationship might see the bad points first, the family joke was my grandads second wife deserved a medal for putting up with him, although we also questioned what was she thinking when she remarried him after they divorced.

thanks all, enjoyed the tongue in cheek, it cheered me up and Dermot and others who thought it was my family tree, after all the work ive put into that he would have been DEAD. Mind you he still may be. Elaine.