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Gypsy weddings 9pm tonight ch4

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Ladylol Pusser Cat

Ladylol Pusser Cat Report 22 Feb 2010 18:52

Thanks romany will have a look, can some one become a gypsie if they wanted to? would they except someone who wasnt, out of interest to ill now to think about it so really out of interest xxx puss xx

RStar

RStar Report 22 Feb 2010 21:49

You mean if they marry into the family? Non gypsies are called gorjas, its not a deregatory word, it just means not a gypsy. But plenty of gypsies do marry gorjas, you wouldnt then actually become a gypsy as its in the blood but your children could say they were gypsy. Another site is Romanygenes, its packed full of stuff and free. And Journeyfolki. Gypsy folk tend to be like other cultures (I'll use the Asian culture as an example), in the way that there are 'hardcore' ones and more casual. Eg, take a strict muslim family whose daughter has an arranged marriage to her cousin at 16 and prior to that didnt meet boys on her own or have a boyfriend, very chaste and pure. Well many gypsy families are like that. Only difference is the girls would leave school at 11 so they didnt get in with drugs, sex etc etc. Then take the more westernised muslim family who would let their daughter have boyfriends, go to college and then work, let her marry whoever she falls in love with, and possibly have a baby while they were only engaged, not married. Divorce would also be a possibility if things really didnt work out. Well thats how I see gypsy families, the strict ones and the more relaxed ones. Not saying either is wrong, but like any culture people are different.

GRMarilyn

GRMarilyn Report 22 Feb 2010 22:13

RomanyStar,

How interesting you are ...

Think I'll be a gypsy in my next life ..LOL

Always around for a good gypsy story...

Carry on ....more stories please ??

Ladylol Pusser Cat

Ladylol Pusser Cat Report 22 Feb 2010 22:33

Thanks romany really really intersting i too would like to hear some more lol, youve started something now xx

RStar

RStar Report 22 Feb 2010 22:51

Um, I dont know what else I can tell you! Any questions fire away, I'll answer if I can. People think arranged marriages only happen in Asian communities, but thats so wrong, it sometimes happens for Romany and Irish gypsies, fairground folk, the aristocracy and very religious people, ie Catholic or C of E church members wanting their daughter to marry into a well to do family within the church. PS, me and the hubby are having our vows renewed next July in a gypsy-ish style ceremony, meal and party! Am planning away already, my little head is buzzing.

Lesley

Lesley Report 22 Feb 2010 23:03

RomanyStar
I really appreciate the way you phrase things to help people understand. I have had a lot of interaction with Gypsy/Travellers, and you are right you have to see the culture and why they do things. e.g. its not good enough to just try and buly them into sending their kids to school, you have to understand why they don't want to and work with that.
People are so quick to judge but i have yet to meet a traveller family who didn't care deeply about their kids. Whereas I can think of many non traveller families who don't pay taxes, are on benefits, have all the time in the world and their kids are still neglected.
Not judging just thinking that trying to protect your kids from 'society' may be frowned upon but ..........
Back to the programme. I thought it was funny when they said how religious the travellers were then in the next scene said most people don't turn up to the chapel just for the party! Family always let you down don't they?

RStar

RStar Report 22 Feb 2010 23:09

Lol Lesley! Yes, they are religious I suppose although not the younger ones as much (and funnily enough its the younger ones who seem to turn out at the church!!). I think the Irish gypsies would call themselves religious as they are Catholic, mostof the Romany gyspies (in my experience) have no religion although the modern 'traveller' churches are springing up, the guitar playing ones. They seem to struggle to sit still and listen to the service, I think thats what the problem is as well. And the dowry still exists, called the 'fortune' if a Rom girl is marrying into the Irish. Not all have to pay it though, depends on the families.

GRMarilyn

GRMarilyn Report 23 Feb 2010 09:09

Hi RomanyStar,

I would love to see a burial on the next TV series.
I bet that's a show piece ..!

Now what happens when someone dies and because they travel around, do they bury their families all over the place or go back to a certain cemetery ?







RStar

RStar Report 23 Feb 2010 10:09

Hi Marilyn, gypsies are always buried not burnt although personally I believe we all end up the same anyway in spirit. I'd rather be cremated! People think the weddings are big but they should see the funerals. After the death the family and extended family including close friends sit with the body and refrain from eating red meat. The extended family take care of all the housework and children, they practically move in and stay there for as long as is needed. A fire is lit and people sit by it, a marquee or portacabin is put up for the men while the women stay in the trailers or the grieving peoples house. Pick up trucks or lorries are used for the flowers as theres so many. And the deceased persons trailer is burnt, sometimes with their possessions if the family can afford to do that.

Silly Sausage

Silly Sausage Report 23 Feb 2010 10:17

I was just about to ask about the caravan, I went to school with a girls who were gypies, when their Dad died the burnt the caravan and then the girls and their mum moved in to a house, only the eldest girl married a gypies she was engaged to him when she was 14, they did go their different ways for a while both married other people but got back to gether about 10 years later I couldnt stand the bloke infact my mum battered him but thats another story, none of the other girls married gypies. I remember going to their house when I was about 10 with 1 of my sisters and just staring at the glass cabinets.

RStar

RStar Report 23 Feb 2010 10:33

Lol Hayley!!

GRMarilyn

GRMarilyn Report 23 Feb 2010 10:52

Wow that some story RomanyStar........I thought funerals would be BIG.

Wouldn't that be worth seeing on telly .

Shame about burning the caravan though, and yes I know what Hayley means all that lovely sparkly crystal in those glass cabinets ..!!

Its funny how if we see something like bright colored vases etc... or crystal we say its a bit gypsy !! LOL.... So true.

Thanks for that info, If I see a caravan on fire I'll know whats happened .. !

Have to say a prayer instead of blaming it on kids !! LOL

RStar

RStar Report 23 Feb 2010 11:07

Most of the funerals have anywhere from 600 to thousands of people attending. If they've settle in a house and dont see many other gypsies apart from their family, obviously the funeral would be smaller.

Ladylol Pusser Cat

Ladylol Pusser Cat Report 23 Feb 2010 11:16

why are you so gorgous looking especially the men, id be affraid to attend any type of service without falling in love ten times over i would need a fan for me hormones or a bucket of ice xx

Jan.

Jan. Report 23 Feb 2010 11:23

I remember a gyspy funeral in my town years ago when I was 15.
There had been a young gypsy girl engaged to be married, when she was knocked over by a car and died. We were all amazed about how many coaches and cars were in the funeral cortege on the way to the funeral service. Rumour had it that the girl was in a glass coffin in her wedding dress. I worked in a shop overlooking the church where the service was, and me and the other staff counted all the buses, coaches and cars in the cortege. We lost count after 30 coaches!
The relatives and friends had come from all over the Country - it was amazing to see it. I've never forgotten it.

RStar

RStar Report 23 Feb 2010 11:26

Oo-er Pussercat!! :-)) the men ARE gorgeous arent they, but believe me, they know it lol! I suppose gypsies are quite a vain lot, maybe not the older people but I think its a case of showing that theyre not dirty, scruffy, poor etc. They'll go without if it means buying nice clothes for the kids. I suppose all teenagers and young women are concerned about their looks tho, and with the majority of gypsy ladies being at home in the day (and certainly the teens and young married ladies) theres time to straighten hair, go to the sunbeds etc. The kids are usually well dressed and not allowed to get dirty or they'll 'show up' the mother. Have you ever been to a gypsy horse fair? We go to Kenilworth, Peterborough, the Lee Gap fair (Leeds) and Stow. And obviously theres Appleby and more. Everyone makes a real effort for the fairs, the teenage boys and girls all walk round together but not holding hands or kissing etc, and theres a lovely atmosphere, everyone is so happy.

RStar

RStar Report 23 Feb 2010 11:29

Oh Jan that's really sad. Yes, they really stick by their own, talk about showing support.

Silly Sausage

Silly Sausage Report 23 Feb 2010 11:39

I remember about 3 years ago, some gypies had set up camp in the car park next where I worked, they broke down a barrier to get on it, every day we would watch in a morning as one of the vans had a different strip with different names of companies offering their services for gardening, tarmacing and even fencing we had a good laugh about that one, I did wonder how many old folks in the town were about to ripped off that week, they wasn’t there long after about 4 days they had disappeared in to the night, unfortunately its these what do give the travelling community a very bad name. And the state of the place after wards was disgusting.

Mistycat

Mistycat Report 23 Feb 2010 12:17

Hi RomanyStar

What a fascinating thread....

Have you ever heard of " Appleby Boots ".....

I was born and grew up not far from Appleby and although ( as far as I know ) we have no gypsy connection, we went to Appleby fair a number of times ( we were a horsey family, so really just went to look at the horses )

One memory that sticks in my mind, the boots a lot of the men used to wear (I'm talking in the sixties now ) I recall chatting to some chap's and asking why so many of them had the same boots ( they were the short,black leather riding boot type, with an elastic panel in the side ) One just laughed and said...Appleby boots, young lady, Appleby boots...never did find out what he ment....

I also remember what a good atmosphere there was, the noise, the smell and the cash that changed hand's...wads ( I mean huge wads ) of notes taken from a pocket and peeled off one by one...

I could reminisce about Appleby fair all day, so much stuff I haven't thought about for years....but ( lucky for you ) have things to do.

Misty x

I have passed the Kenilworth fair often but never been..maybe I should drop in next time, see if they are how I remember.....

GRMarilyn

GRMarilyn Report 23 Feb 2010 12:19

My mother always used to say Gypsies are rouges but they are GOOD ROUGES. !! LOL

Maybe because she was an Irish Catholic and her Grandmother must have been an influence on her about Gypsies.

Although I have only gone back to 1840 on the Irish side , so who knows I might be of Gypsy stock !!