General Chat

My father in law has been diaognosed with Lung cancer today.
He was found to have a nodule on his uvula a few weeks ago and went to have that removed on Tuesday. Because of that and the problem that he hadn't been eating properly they sent him for X-Rays last week and found a shadow on his lung. he went in on Tuesday and had the nodule removed and was told to go back today for a ct scan and heart tests and was then to see the consultant this afternoon.
They don't know what type it is yet and he has to go for a biopsy next week, but they have said that it is inoperable due to the proximity to his aorta. We shall know next week whether they will be able to treat it with chemo or radio therapy.
I suspected this when mum in law told me that he had to go for the scan so quickly after they had removed the nodule. Because I went through all of this with my Mum, only over a longer timescale. It's as though they have fast-tracked Father in law.

Hubby is the 2nd oldest of 7 and a hard nut due to the military life he led. I shall have to be strong for him though and our 2 daughters, who went through it all with my Mum. The eldest, who is an emotional person at the best of times is struggling already. The youngest is away at the moment down in London, but she is gutted too.

So can I ask for your postive thoughts to be sent to whatever you believe in.

Many thanks
Helen

my thoughts are with you all so much xxx

Helen I am sending positive and healing thoughts in abundance to your FIL
Rachxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Helen
so sorry to hear this hun and I will keep your father-in-law in my prayer's and also you and your family. Try and stay positive that they will be able to treat him with chemo or radio therapy and take care, my thought's are with you all

Regard's Diane ( Liverpool Lass ) x x x

thinking of you all xxx

Helen, I am sorry to hear this news. Sending all positive thought to your father in law that it is treatable with chemo or radiotherapy. And sending you a ((((((hug)))))) as I can see you are going to have to be strong for your family.

Very sorry to hear this - positive thoughts to you and the family.

S xx

Sending love and positive thoughts to you all .
Sylvia
xxxxx

hi helen, so sorry to hear your news. will be thinking of you and your family and send lots of positve thoughts.
florencex

Dear Helen

So very sorry to hear your awful news. Sending positive thoughts and prayers to you all.

Love & cuddles
Steph xxx

Sorry to read this Helen.
I hope you can all draw strength fro one another to help you through the difficult days and trust that father-in-law can be helped to be comfortable through his illness.

Gwyn

Thinking of you all.

L.

Helen, I am so sorry to read this, but hope that as it seems to have been found quickly, your f.i.l. can have treatment that will extend his life expectancy and he will not be too uncomfortable.

All positive thoughts for him and all the family

Lizx

Positive thoughts to your FIL,and family Helen.
Teresa

He's off for his biopsy today, fingers crossed please.

hope he will be ok helen you know where i am if you want to talk, also feel free to talk to others on my post re; cancer and its affects on people xxxxx

helen my thoughts are with you and family, hope all goes well today
florencex

Thinking of your Father in Law today Helen.
Teresax

Hello Friends,
Sorry I have not updated you about my Father in Law, but what with Christmas and things, I haven't been on here much over the last few weeks. Working in retail at Christmas is a real drag, never any time to yourself.

Any way Dad had his biopsy and it came back that he had 3 small tumours on his left lung. he said that he wasn't going to have any treatment because he didn't want to loose any of his hair. but after talking to the dr's who said that if he didn't have any chemo he would only have 3 to 6 months. But if he had treatment they said he possibly would have 3 to 4 years. So several of his daughters managed to talk him round to having the treatment he said yes and was given the date of the 20th Dec for his first treatment. His 2 oldest daughters and wife went with him to visit the "ward" where the treatment was given and he was very positive about it afterwards and not so scared. Several times during December he kept passing out, which they put down to low levels of salt in his body.

He had his first dose on the 20th and hubby, the girls and I went up and spent a fantastic Christmas Day with them along with hubby's youngest sister and partner, who actually dressed up as Santa and made both Mum and Dad sit on his knee to get their presents. It had been a few weeks since we had seen them but you could see a change in him and the inevitable had started to happen and some of his hair had started to come out, but not a lot. He managed to eat a good Christmas dinner, but by mid afternoon I could see he was getting tired.

Since New year he had been having up and down days and on Monday this week he went back to the hospital to have his 2nd dose of chemo, but they wouldn't give it to him because his blood platlet count was low, but they made a new appointment for next week, on his eldest daughters birthday.

He awoke Tuesday morning and went in his wife's room and sat talking to her, telling her that he had a pain in his left side. He was sweating quite abit and Mum got a towel and wiped him down. He then went back into his room and then went to the bathroom complaining of feeling sick, but nothing happened. After going back into his room with Mum, he had a drink of pop to try to releive the wind and pain, and then just collapsed. Mum called 999 and the paramedics arrived and tryed to resussitate him and at one point they did manage to get his heart going but it stopped again and after 45 mins they called it.

It has come as a great shock to us all. No matter that we had all had thoughts about loosing him, we didn't think it was going to be so quick. Hubby and I drove up there straight away (1 hour journey) and Dad was still there as he couldn't be moved until the Dr had been, but he looked so peaceful and younger. Hubby kept going into the garden, which was so lovingly tendered by both Mum and Dad, to contemplate and I think to let out a few tears. we spent several hours there and got home around teatime. Hubby finally broke down at 3am this morning and all I could do was sit and hold him. Today hasn't been too bad and the youngest and her boyfriend took us out to visit one of the local musuems to take his mind off things and tonight the 5 of us went out for a lovely meal.

We are going back up to Mum's tomorrow to meet with the undertakers to discuss the arrangements.

I'd like to thank you all for your thoughts and kind words when I originally posted this.

God Bless
Helen
xxxxxxx

Oh Helen, I am so sorry to read this sad news, after the treatment he hadn't really wanted he didn't even get the longer time with you all, bless him.

Having seen what my Dad went through for several months with lung cancer - he died almost 21 years ago come 23rd Jan, after being diagnosed the previous summer - I can only say that it was probably for the best that things didn't go on longer but with you all thinking you had a bit more time you might feel upset that things weren't said that you wanted to say.

I am sure your dear father in law knew you were all caring about him and loved him and I am glad you found him looking peaceful and younger.
May he rest in peace now, free from pain and suffering, and may his best qualities show themselves in various family members as they grow.

Your husband has let out some grief and will probably need to again, he will chose to go off alone or will let it out to you, it will be hard for you to see him upset but it's only natural, isn't it? and he is no less a man for showing his emotions despite being a 'tough nut'

I hope the shock for your Mum in law of his sudden collapse is easing and for you all too. At least she was with him to the end, and he didn't die as she slept which would have been harder for her to have seen.

Hope the weather stays fine for the travelling and that you can all find ways to ease the shock as you make the arrangements and do your final act of kindness and respect for your father in law. My thoughts are with you all.

Lizxx

I have nudged up the Remember Me thread on General topics so you can maybe read some of the comforting verses on the thread.