General Chat

Helen,
I've just read your husbands poem on 'General', and it's wonderful. Brought a tear to my eye as I lost my father in law 7 months ago and still miss him dreadfully. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Cath xx

Thank you everyone for your loving thoughts. The funeral has been arranged for a week on Monday, and his ashes are being placed in a tree stump in the woodland walk at the local cemetary, instead of being scattered.

Hubby finally managed to put words onto paper in the early hours of this morning and has written a beautiful poem. I will put it on the "Remember Me" thread on the General Board.

Thanks again
Love
Helen
xxxxxxx

im so sory i know how your feeling hope the pain eases im sorry xxxxxx

Helen
I am so sorry to read the news in your update, but how lovely that you will have such happy memories of your Christmas together.
I send my condolences to all the family.

Gwyn

HELEN this has saddened me to hear your sad news hun
i am so sorry
thinking of you and your family (((hug)))

My sympathy to you and your family Helen

Mau xxx

I'm so sorry to read this Helen. My condolences to you, OH and family, I hope that having a good Christmas together will be among the memories that will comfort you all in the days ahead.

Rose xxxx

Helen,

I am so sorry to read about your Father in law,
You must have a lot to do and it was thoughtful to update your post.

It sounds like you had a wonderful Christmas together and you will have happy memories of that time to treasure.

You are all in my thought and prayers.

Teresa xxx

Helen,
sorry to read about your father in law. Condolences to you and the family at this sad time. (((((((hugs))))))) for you all.

Cath xx

Still thinking of you and your family at this sad time, x

I am so sorry to read this Helen and send my condolences to your husband, yourself and your family.

Will be thinking about you all over the next days as you make the arrangements for the funeral, Helen. You have had a difficult time recently, haven't you?

Lizx

I'm very sorry to hear this Helen - my thoughts are very much with you, your OH, MIL and family. Take care.

Sue xx

Thanks Liz,
I had booked marked it last year when I put on the poem that I read out at my Mum's funeral but thanks again.

Helen
xxxxx

Oh Helen, I am so sorry to read this sad news, after the treatment he hadn't really wanted he didn't even get the longer time with you all, bless him.

Having seen what my Dad went through for several months with lung cancer - he died almost 21 years ago come 23rd Jan, after being diagnosed the previous summer - I can only say that it was probably for the best that things didn't go on longer but with you all thinking you had a bit more time you might feel upset that things weren't said that you wanted to say.

I am sure your dear father in law knew you were all caring about him and loved him and I am glad you found him looking peaceful and younger.
May he rest in peace now, free from pain and suffering, and may his best qualities show themselves in various family members as they grow.

Your husband has let out some grief and will probably need to again, he will chose to go off alone or will let it out to you, it will be hard for you to see him upset but it's only natural, isn't it? and he is no less a man for showing his emotions despite being a 'tough nut'

I hope the shock for your Mum in law of his sudden collapse is easing and for you all too. At least she was with him to the end, and he didn't die as she slept which would have been harder for her to have seen.

Hope the weather stays fine for the travelling and that you can all find ways to ease the shock as you make the arrangements and do your final act of kindness and respect for your father in law. My thoughts are with you all.

Lizxx

I have nudged up the Remember Me thread on General topics so you can maybe read some of the comforting verses on the thread.

Hello Friends,
Sorry I have not updated you about my Father in Law, but what with Christmas and things, I haven't been on here much over the last few weeks. Working in retail at Christmas is a real drag, never any time to yourself.

Any way Dad had his biopsy and it came back that he had 3 small tumours on his left lung. he said that he wasn't going to have any treatment because he didn't want to loose any of his hair. but after talking to the dr's who said that if he didn't have any chemo he would only have 3 to 6 months. But if he had treatment they said he possibly would have 3 to 4 years. So several of his daughters managed to talk him round to having the treatment he said yes and was given the date of the 20th Dec for his first treatment. His 2 oldest daughters and wife went with him to visit the "ward" where the treatment was given and he was very positive about it afterwards and not so scared. Several times during December he kept passing out, which they put down to low levels of salt in his body.

He had his first dose on the 20th and hubby, the girls and I went up and spent a fantastic Christmas Day with them along with hubby's youngest sister and partner, who actually dressed up as Santa and made both Mum and Dad sit on his knee to get their presents. It had been a few weeks since we had seen them but you could see a change in him and the inevitable had started to happen and some of his hair had started to come out, but not a lot. He managed to eat a good Christmas dinner, but by mid afternoon I could see he was getting tired.

Since New year he had been having up and down days and on Monday this week he went back to the hospital to have his 2nd dose of chemo, but they wouldn't give it to him because his blood platlet count was low, but they made a new appointment for next week, on his eldest daughters birthday.

He awoke Tuesday morning and went in his wife's room and sat talking to her, telling her that he had a pain in his left side. He was sweating quite abit and Mum got a towel and wiped him down. He then went back into his room and then went to the bathroom complaining of feeling sick, but nothing happened. After going back into his room with Mum, he had a drink of pop to try to releive the wind and pain, and then just collapsed. Mum called 999 and the paramedics arrived and tryed to resussitate him and at one point they did manage to get his heart going but it stopped again and after 45 mins they called it.

It has come as a great shock to us all. No matter that we had all had thoughts about loosing him, we didn't think it was going to be so quick. Hubby and I drove up there straight away (1 hour journey) and Dad was still there as he couldn't be moved until the Dr had been, but he looked so peaceful and younger. Hubby kept going into the garden, which was so lovingly tendered by both Mum and Dad, to contemplate and I think to let out a few tears. we spent several hours there and got home around teatime. Hubby finally broke down at 3am this morning and all I could do was sit and hold him. Today hasn't been too bad and the youngest and her boyfriend took us out to visit one of the local musuems to take his mind off things and tonight the 5 of us went out for a lovely meal.

We are going back up to Mum's tomorrow to meet with the undertakers to discuss the arrangements.

I'd like to thank you all for your thoughts and kind words when I originally posted this.

God Bless
Helen
xxxxxxx

Thinking of your Father in Law today Helen.
Teresax

helen my thoughts are with you and family, hope all goes well today
florencex

hope he will be ok helen you know where i am if you want to talk, also feel free to talk to others on my post re; cancer and its affects on people xxxxx

He's off for his biopsy today, fingers crossed please.