General Chat

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side....

Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
Or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
To give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

To give them a bigger laugh.

Cool!

Let me give you a bit of advice. Never take advice.

Next bit of advice,Wear a tin hat when you write things like that, the repercussions on here could be deadly.**M**.It was BL**dy true though.:o)>

Motown, Be careful where you put the Thermometer, I do hope you,re not a Vet.**M**.:o)>

Running Bear (or is it bare?), I am with you all the way,and I am female.

I never could understand the toilet seat debate!!

Running Bear, Beware Motown approaching with a single Daffodil.**M**.:o)>

I like a man with guts to say how it is.
Hope you can take the ribbing or worse.haha
Now let me think brave or stupid?

Emmax

Annina, you would if you came across one that had been boobytrapped with "Clingfilm.**M**.:o)>

The title of this thread says it all.

Y-a-w-n

Amen.

...Ah women.

Ah-------Bl**dy Nora.:o)>.**M**

.....does that mean that Nora has the last word :o)>.....?

Nora Batty perhaps.

Ah bless :-)

The "Wellie Boot's"
(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!)

Did you hear about the Pre-School teacher who was helping one of the children put on his "Wellie boot's"?
He asked for help and she could see why..
Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little "Wellie's" still didn't want to go on.
By the time they got the second "Wellie" on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, "Miss, they're on the wrong feet."
She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier pulling the "Wellie's" off than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the "Wellie's" back on, this time on the right feet..
He then announced, "These aren't my Wellies."
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?' like she wanted to.
Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting "Wellie's" off his little feet.
No sooner had they gotten the "Wellie's" off when he said, "They're my brother's "Wellie's", my mom made me wear 'them.'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry.
But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the "Wellie's" on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your gloves?"

He said, "I stuffed 'them in the toes of my Wellie's".

She will be eligible for parole in three years!

As has been said many many times, Men are Men, and Women are Grateful, or at least should be,PMSL.**M**.Heading for the Hills with crash hat.

Its 2.30pm. gone very dark,and it starting to snow here in Sussex,so, OK,which one of you ladies sent it?**M**.Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells.:o((>

The same teacher was trying to get the children to stop using baby words.

What did you do on Sunday Jessica?
I went to a farm and saw some baa lambs.
No! Use big words, you went to a farm and saw some sheep.

What did you do at the weekend Harry?
I went on a choo-choo.
NO! Use big words - you went on a train.

Now then Amy, what did you do on Sunday?
I had a ride on a gee-gee.
NO! Use big words, you had a ride on a horse.

What did you do at the weekend Jimmy?
I read a book.
Well done Jimmy! What was the book called?
Winnie the shit !