General Chat

I watched my recording last evening and I think he has turned out to be a nice lad regardless of who his birth parents are. I am glad he had such good adoptive parents and now has a family of his own.
It was good that he met the other abandoned people and also that he was able to talk to the detective who was involved with Baby Jack so that she will write a letter about him being found and will leave it for him to read as he gets older. Maybe Stephen and some of the other 'abandoned babies' could start a support group for each other and for babies recently abandoned to link into as they grow up. It might help all of them and if there was a website, a mother thinking about her child she left, might make contact through it too.
I do hope that the programme being shown will urge his mother or someone who knows her and about the baby, to make contact with him, if only to give him some answers.

I was sad that one woman found a half brother who had also been abandoned, it seems awful that the woman did it twice, and maybe even more than that.

All power to the lad and all children who don't know who they are.
There must be many children too who have been adopted and not told, who suddenly find out when their parents die, and have no way of tracing their real roots.

I am so glad I know where I came from and such. My o.h. has been told by his father that a great aunt suddenly dropped the comment into conversation some years back, that her father was adopted. O.h.'s father doesn't seem too bothered but it means they can't trace the family back far especially as the name was Smith!

Lizx

Ive always thought its wonderful when people are adopted into loving families and very gracious of the adoptive parents to say they would like to thank the birth parents for their child. So much is put into place (nowdays); safekeeping baby photos, baby clothing, respecting cultural and religious views, possibly even seeing siblings or grandparents. But when a child is adopted by a stepfather nothing is done, its presumed the mother will ensure the child is kept safe and cared for.

RS
Sadly sometimes in those situations the birth father is virtually wiped from memory and photos destroyed. I know at least 2 adults, in seperate families,who have struggled to find photos of their birth father, after being adopted by a stepfather.

You need to know your background, even though it is a big disappointment, at least you know who you are and where you came from.

Steven's relationship to his little girl is so special, his first blood relative, it means such a lot.

There is such a draw to blood lines, I feel it strongly each time I am in contact with my cousins, or go to the place I would have grown up in, had adoption not been the outcome of my birth.

I felt very angry that the few pieces of police evidence had been destroyed, they were an essential part of Steven's early days. But the people who have been involved would have had no idea what they were getting rid of.

I speak from experience, all my adoption papers and court records were lost/destroyed, and countless other adoptees will have been in the same boat.

No court papers on adoption are ever destroyed! Social Services file which have the finer details *may*get* lost* by the constant shifting from place to place and stored out of county and any records are duely recorded as their whereabouts but these notes go astray for the same reasons,,its lack of time & funds that make it easier to say by departments they have been lost >!!

Kay - I have had two attempts to find my adoption and court records from 1943. The adoption records were from the Church Adoption agency, who told me that they had been lost in a fire.

The court records I have been told were also destroyed. perhaps in more recent times records are kept more carefully, but during the war, I presume to my frustration, that things were different.

I have spoken recently to an adoption officer, who has told me that there was often very little recorded about the baby's background.

However, I am not attempting to hijack this thread about Steven. Let us hope that he is able to find his background.

Angelsong, have you ever considered going public (newspapers or womens magazines) to ask if anyone knows about your background? It might be an idea. x

My children still see their birth father, fortunately he & I are good friends -we accept we just wandered apart! My girls are also very close to their stepbrothers.
Thankfully, my daughter has the same attitude with her daughter and her daughter's father.
Grand daughter sees her father and his son (her half brother) at least once a week, and fully understands that, though he is a pain in the proverbial, (due to his age) he is as close to her genetically as her 2 brothers by her (wonderful) stepfather.
Grand daughter's father and his twin brother were abandoned by their mother, who disappeared with their elder sister when they were 5.
They haven't seen them since, and their father was a pretty useless parent.
I've found his mother on FR, (accidentally, just by 'pootling' - look up birth - find name-then, knowing where she was brought up, look at schools), but haven't found the right time to tell him, knowing how he feels.

I have a lot to thank my daughter's ex for - her pregnancy gave her back to me, (she was living a hedonistic life), and gave me the most wonderful grand daughter.

Back to Steven, though. Grand daughter's father knows nothing about his mother - it would have been nice if his father could have acknowledged her existence. As a woman, it makes me ask why he didn't - who was 'at fault'?etc)

I think any detail of an abandoned child should be recorded and given to the child.

Romany Star - we were away all yesterday, just seen your post. No, I would not go public, as my bm is still alive. It is my plan to contact the newspapers in her area, after her demise, if anyone has any info about my birth father.

Like Steven, you get near a door, which appears to be opening, and then it shuts in your face. I hope he get the information he is looking for.