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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Tawny

Tawny Report 28 Dec 2018 22:41

Weddings could be so stressful. Trying to work out who you want to invite. How many adults? and how many children? Mr Owl working out how many of his boys club he can invite. Bridesmaids causing chaos with what they want their dresses to look like and I thought this was my wedding. :-D

Gwyn in Kent

Gwyn in Kent Report 28 Dec 2018 23:47

Your wedding, - you and Mr Owl choose.

Yes, bridesmaids and you might discuss what they will wear, but final say is yours.

It seems to be a whole lot more complicated arranging a wedding nowadays compared to when I married 40 plus years ago, but I do remember long discussions with my parents over who they thought I should invite and who I WANTED to invite.
My sister got married the same year, so they were probably glad when both weddings had actually taken place without any problems on the day.

The actual day seems to go so quickly after months of planning.

Tawny

Tawny Report 29 Dec 2018 08:35

Thank you Gwyn. Five months to go on the 1st. Once new year is over it will start racing in.

PatinCyprus

PatinCyprus Report 29 Dec 2018 08:50

My daughter got married this year took 5 weeks from start to finish. :-D

She was going to marry out here then a friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer so all brought forward. Great day everyone enjoyed it. Men in shorts, ladies in summer dresses. We were in an events building in part Sherwood Forest. One bridesmaid in a pretty playsuit.

Hog roast meal outside on wooden tables and benches, it was a picnic area in the woods beside the hall where the marriage took place.

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Most relaxed wedding I ever went to and everyone enjoyed it. Bride couldn't decide which dress so got both and wore both - cost for both less than £100 as they were in a summer sale :-D

You can make it easy or it can be very stressful. It's your wedding, stop trying to please everyone, you are in charge, have the wedding you want. <3

Tawny

Tawny Report 29 Dec 2018 09:15

Thank you Pat, It looks like your daughter had a lovely day. Waiting for Mr Owls divorce to be confirmed was stressful as it could have been problematic. Thankfully they were separated when I met him so we didn’t have to wait long. Now as we plan our day I think the fact that he has been married before plays on my mind trying to do things differently than before. Even though I know he wouldn’t have asked me if he wasn’t certain.

PatinCyprus

PatinCyprus Report 29 Dec 2018 09:23

It was a second marriage for both my daughter and her husband, the bridesmaid was his daughter. They just wanted a happy day with family and friends.

Friend with cancer had big op to take out primary which was successful and now the secondaries are being attacked by chemo and radiotherapy. Next scan February.

Tawny

Tawny Report 29 Dec 2018 09:40

Mr Owls second marriage but my first. My parents are paying for it which makes us lucky. As my dad said though it’s a limit not a target. As a result though it means they want the big white wedding for me in the church with the reception in a hotel after. It’s growing arms and legs.

PatinCyprus

PatinCyprus Report 29 Dec 2018 09:47

Run away to Gretna Green ;-). :-D :-D :-D

PatinCyprus

PatinCyprus Report 29 Dec 2018 09:54

There rings weren't new. My daughter was left my OH's aunt's jewelry including her wedding ring. Daughter had it polished for the wedding, her future husband had his late father's ring altered and polished.

Tawny

Tawny Report 29 Dec 2018 12:46

Gretna sounds like a plan. Just back from looking at invitations and order of service. I found something we both like.

PatinCyprus

PatinCyprus Report 29 Dec 2018 12:49

That's good,a bit at a time and tick off list as done ;-) :-D

Florence61

Florence61 Report 30 Dec 2018 20:46

Set a realistic number for the main wedding invitiations.Do you both have large or small families. if large extend invites to 2 per family. The wedding breakfast doesn't have to cost thousands. Research lots of menus first. Consider whether u want a 3 course hot meal or maybe cold buffett.

Also remember your true friends should be there. Work friends etc can get an evening invite later on.
Although im separated now, I planned my wedding very carefully and did not let anyone make decisions over what I wanted. I took control and on the day all went well.
I actually chose the bridesmaids dresses from a well known catalogue along with ballet pumps and saved a fortune.

You need a month by month plan and tick off things as you do them.

I wish you all the very best.
let us know how you on bit by bit.

Florence in the hebrides :-)

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 30 Dec 2018 23:08

My youngest held her reception at a camp site. Something everyone could afford - and stagger to! :-D :-D :-D
The wedding was a simple affair at a medieval barn - and when we went out there were archers offering practice shots! :-D :-D :-D

Florence61

Florence61 Report 1 Jan 2019 10:35

:-D :-D :-D :-D @ Maggie

Tawny

Tawny Report 1 Jan 2019 11:44

I’ve put my foot down over the bridesmaids dresses to bring in some calm. I told them that it was a church wedding and no matter how much there were certain things they wanted to wear it wasn’t happening. It is a local parish church and no previous attendance is required to marry there. The only requirement is that you live in the parish to stop people looking for a pretty church. I do not attend the church on Sunday mornings however I do run children’s clubs two evenings a week in the church halls. The minister is lovely man in his mid 50s who was called later in life having previously worked in the oil industry

JoyLouise

JoyLouise Report 1 Jan 2019 12:04

Maggie, you need to tell Bernie Ecclestone about that archer! ;-) :-D

nameslessone

nameslessone Report 1 Jan 2019 12:42

:-D :-D

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 3 Jan 2019 19:56

Tawny ....

can you afford to share some of the cost with your parents?

It's lovely that they are paying, but it does give them control. Sharing a little of the cost would give you some control.

Remember ................ it is YOUR wedding, not theirs. They might want to do what they think is the ideal marriage for their daughter, but is does NOT have to be so.

We and our daughter shared the costs of her marriage back in 1999 .............. it was by no means 50/50, but we gave her control, only asking that about 5 or 6 people really should be invited, and moist of those would have had to travel from England. Only one couple accepted ;-)

She and her bridesmaids conferred on colour and style of dress, and then THEY made them. She found her ideal wedding dress on the bridesmaids' rack in a wedding shop, and it cost less that $150 (or ~£80).

JoyBoroAngel

JoyBoroAngel Report 3 Jan 2019 21:23

It took 3 weeks to arrange my wedding 44 years ago

The cake was baked the next day By a very kind lady
and then sent to a lovely couple to be iced
all basket work I still have one of the sides
The reception I did myself
and it was a wonderful day <3

Tawny

Tawny Report 3 Jan 2019 23:20

Sadly we can’t afford to contribute much money for the wedding. Mr Owl graduated from university for the second time in May last year and we moved into our own home in July 2017. Whilst we are managing all our responsibilities which includes two cats we couldn’t resist there isn’t a lot left at the end of the month. My parents planned their wedding in six weeks back in 1979. It was rushed as my dad was changing jobs and moving from England to Scotland and my mum was at nursing college at the time. The only way she could move with him without having to repeat the entire course was if her husband changed jobs. So quickly up the aisle and the transfer was approved 5 months later so they could celebrate their first Christmas as a married couple on the same side of the border. I think that’s why they are throwing so much at mine.