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Iwish people would reply

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date


Roger Report 17 May 2012 09:48

I have asked many questions about relatives on other peoples trees - but these people do not reply with either yes or no.

So would it be possible for GR team to request all people to reply to a question posted to them, if not they are not helping your quest in the spitrit of these boards to finding our rellies.


Cynthia Report 17 May 2012 10:12

This issue crops up very regularly Roger. Unfortunately, there can be many reasons as to to why people do not reply.

Have you checked to see if they have actually opened the messages you have sent them?

Have you been sending messages to very old and out of date threads?

There are many 'dead' trees on this site where the owner has, perhaps, left the site, lost interest, changed their email address without notifying GR, are ill or, maybe even died.

I don't think it's feasible to ask GR to request however million members there are on this site to replies to all questions.

I imagine you have asked for help on the boards when you have hit any brickwalls when doing your research.

Hope this helps. Cx.


Roger Report 17 May 2012 10:19

Well the messages have been opened in the last day or so - so the people are on the boards and I think it is very rude of people not to say yes or no to the questions asked.

As on these boards we are all trying to help each other are we not in tracing our FH.

So I think Genes should make it a condition that if you open a question sent to you - you should reply to it - in the terms and


Rambling Report 17 May 2012 11:00

Roger, if the messages have just been opened have you considered the following...

Have you given enough information to at least give them an idea of the connection?

Do you perhaps come across as ASKING all the questions, but not giving much to the person you have contacted? ( Some people perhaps feel that having done all the research themselves and paid to do so , that the least the person seeking info can do is have firm details themselves ).

Perhaps they open the message via their email box, and at the same time have other more important emails to work for instance....or their kids want tea so they'll 'answer later'...or they have to take their pills so they'll 'answer later' or they wish to research your query and 'answer later'... and so on.

But regarding putting a condition that queries are answered in the T & Cs? People pay to use the site as they choose... that may mean just making their tree and having no contact with anyone else...and that is their right, frustrating as it may be,

it may not be 'polite' not to answer you, but what sort of answer would one get from someone who was 'forced' to answer?


Cynthia Report 17 May 2012 17:59

I like that PP........ tree :-D


DazedConfused Report 17 May 2012 21:25

Cynthia - I actually 'scrumped' that phrasemyself from a Rootschatter, I did own up to them that I would start using it whenever I could. They were quite happy for me to do so.

I think it is a good description of those who rush in, contact you, get access to your tree and then whoosh they have disappeared along with all your hard work and not a thankyou anywhere.


SylviaInCanada Report 18 May 2012 00:50

I also like "tree scrumpers' :-D :-D :-D

I wish I had a £ for every time this question has been raised!

(costs have gone up since my mother used to say "a penny for your thoughts" :-D )



Gai Report 18 May 2012 01:30


Just a suggestion after a personal experience on my part.

Resend the message and also put at the end of the message saying that if they are currently a free member they can still respond to your message without them having to pay for membership.



ErikaH Report 21 May 2012 23:00


We live in what is reputedly a free society - GR cannot impose such terms on people - and, even supposing they did, how do you imagine they could possibly enforce them? Explain, please.


DazedConfused Report 22 May 2012 11:34

Reggie - they would send the lads round!!!!


SylviaInCanada Report 22 May 2012 20:10

I suppose some of those lads would love the chance to get out of England, and visit those of us who live elsewhere :-D


ErikaH Report 23 May 2012 09:01

I'll volunteer to 'pay you a visit' Sylvia - I'd love to see Canada again


LadyScozz Report 23 May 2012 11:05

We can live in hope!

Got a reply today from a message I sent on 14 September 2010!

Nearly got excited, but we don't have the same people :-( :-D


SylviaInCanada Report 23 May 2012 23:13


I thought the idea was that GR would pay you to "pay me a visit" to sort me out? :-D


jax Report 24 May 2012 03:52

I sent a message to my ex husband once...he did open it and reply.

He has never been on the boards nor paid to use the site, he just added a few names to his tree then gave up but still had the same email address.

If I joined a site that was free, which told me I had to reply to messages, I would tell them two words and the second word would be "Off"


Cynthia Report 24 May 2012 13:06

......and the first word would be.....


:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D


SylviaInCanada Report 24 May 2012 19:01

or another 4-letter word

:-D :-D :-D


jax Report 24 May 2012 19:03

That was it Cyn, I could'nt think of it last night :-D :-D :-D


ErikaH Report 25 May 2012 08:27

Of course, there is another side issue here - that of returning to one's threads - I wonder whether Roger will bother?


wisechild Report 25 May 2012 15:36

You took the words out of my mouth PP.
It´s becoming increasingly common to see a request for help, then yards of input from members, but never a squeak from the OP.
Like you I have several in My Threads which show me as the last poster.
Either the OP has lost interest or they are extremely rude.