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adoption/hints and hugs from other adoptees*Chapte

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Sheila

Sheila Report 2 May 2006 18:17

Hi All, Just wanted to check in after my holidays, if anyone is waiting for a reply to an e.mail, sorry but got back and the compter was playing up just had to replace my graphics card. :O( hopefully its OK now, Glad to see that things are turning out so well for you Glen, and hope the interview went well today :O) John, Fingers crossed you hear something positive back soon too! Catch up with you all soon, Happy hunting all :O) Sheila

Ann

Ann Report 3 May 2006 02:42

Hi everyone, Glen Hope you got the JOB..........Good Luck. So happy that you have finally got a photo of your BM. It is a strange feeling to see a photo of your BM....especially when you have the same features. Do you think you look like her? And now you might learn more with other relations popping up. Your having a great week. Welcome Back Sheila.....Hope your holidays were relaxing? Annxx

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 3 May 2006 07:10

Hi all Sheila,missed you recently,did you have a good holiday? The photo thing does seem strange.Yes there are a few similarities,mostly the hair colour and we look very similiar around the eyes.(weird when you see my earlier posts,i mentioned eyes and hair then.) Anyhow let's see what the postman brings in the near future. Glen

Loopy

Loopy Report 4 May 2006 05:23

Hi All, Hi Sheila, I hope you had a lovely holiday, but I'm glad your back. At the moment there must be something in the air over there as I have just received an email from my BM. It was nice to hear from her, after she had finished making excuses why she hadn't emailed me because of her various ailments she did invite me to her wedding next year !!! Not that I think we will be spending $6000 on air fares alone for myself, hubby and kids to go to a wedding but it was a nice thought none the less. Maybe had I already had much more regular contact and for a lot longer with BM I may have thought about saving, but at this point I do not know if it is right to say I do not want to waste approx $10,000 on a whim !!! or Maybe if I won the lotto I may re- think it as she did say all the family would be there, what a great opportunity to see and meet everyone. Gee Impatient or fickle, LOL Seeya Mel

Margaret

Margaret Report 4 May 2006 21:11

Just come across these messages and found them very interesting. I managed to have contact with my own birth mother after many many years of trying to get her to speak to me. When her husband died she changed her mind and we had over 20yrs of happy times together and also excellent contact with the children from her marriage. Unfortunately when she died over 6 yrs ago now I was unable to attend the funeral being in hospital suffering from another heart attack. Unfortunately my half siblings didn't take kindly to me not being available although I had visited her many times while in hospital until I became ill myself. My half sister was the main problem and her sudden extreme hatred of me was something I never want to experience again and also the effect it had on my own children and g.children. I wanted to write this down just to let people who have such high hopes of meeting their birth families that it doesn't always turn out well even if you have been part of the family for a very long time. Always keep a little back of yourself just in case and take things very very carefully. I am still searching for my full birth sister who was adopted within a few days of myself and we have been parted for over 60yrs now. As far as I know she never tried to make contact with them. After having a few bad years trying to get over what had happened I managed to find my half sister on birth father's side. We are in constant communication but have yet to meet - hopefully soon. At first she was devasted when she heard that she wasn't the only child of her father - another point when searching - it could make you very happy but it could also be quite devasting for another person. Luckily she has accepted what happened in the war years and now calls me her 'sister'.

Eileen

Eileen Report 5 May 2006 00:38

Back at last Hi everyone, from Wales. Thanks to all who wished me a good move - it was 'interesting', several fairly major hiccups, but eventually everyone and everything got here, albeit a day late. Only one night spent on the floor, so not too bad. About 160 boxes unpacked so far, and at last the computer turned up and is now set up as you can see. 73 e-mails awaited me - since turning off on 10th April - many of them from friends at GR. Just been catching up with the 'hints and hugs', what a lot happens in a short time. Lives are changed and turned around. Certainly I empathise with the current thread about seeing photos for the first time. My Canadian birth-half-bro sent me one of a wedding group taken in England in the war. In it is our father, and my mother holding me as a baby. The only picture of my parents with me. Amazing. Yet my Canadian halves had known this picture all their lives, and I had been pointed out to them as their English sister, whom they must find. Actually, despite their trying to find me, it was me that found them. They also knew that they had two English sisters. Sadly we were separated when we were adopted so one is still missing. Where are you Jennifer Ann, born 22nd September 1945, our mother lived in Bisley, and we were born in Woking. - I make no apologies for continuing to post my sister's name and birthdate. One day she, or someone she knows, will see it Hugs to everyone, its great to be back Eileen.

Eileen

Eileen Report 5 May 2006 22:00

Hi everyone I'm a bit early tonight - get moaned at for staying up late, but that is when all the most interesting postings happen - doh - My question is - how long does one go on making 'trying to find' postings - I have been doing it on the 'net' for several years now, as many of you will have seen, not only on GR. Before I got the internet I put out messages on Teletext and the other one, and also in local papers from time to time. Eventually you begin to think, 'yes' - 'they know you are there, and are looking, but they keep silence' or am I being paranoid?Surely with all the postings I have made, someone somewhere will have thought to themselves, 'ah, I know the person she is looking for', and maybe told that person, or maybe not told them. So, my full sister, Jennifer Ann, born in Woking on 22nd September 1945, our mother lived in Bisley - if you are out there and don't want contact, please contact me just the once, and let me know. Eileen

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 5 May 2006 22:40

hi every 1 just wanted to let you all know iv become an auntie again this eve a little girl jodie lou i found my brother 3yrs ago with my 2 other brothers im auntie now to 15 angie xxx

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 6 May 2006 23:23

Hi everyone Had another piccy if my b/m yesterday,taken about three months before she died,and had a couple of phone calls from curious people answering my letters. So i now have two nieces in touch with me,and they both have children of their own,the blood family is growing so quickly it is getting difficult to keep up. Now if i can just get my court records sorted out,i can say i really have got somewhere. Hugs for everyone Glen xx

Bacardi

Bacardi Report 6 May 2006 23:32

thats great news glen hope you enjoy your new found family angie xxxx

Heather

Heather Report 7 May 2006 01:29

nudge

John

John Report 7 May 2006 09:25

Hi all, just wanted to write a quick note to say that I got a reply back from my cousin yesterday, he was pleased to hear from me, which is great, although he really doesn't know too much about his dad as his mum and dad got divorced when he was quite young. But, at least we've made contact now, thanks to those here who spurred me on to write, i'm glad I did now. Best wishes to everyone.

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 7 May 2006 13:32

Good for you John. Let's hope you can help each other to find out a little more as time passes. Glen

Jess Bow Bag

Jess Bow Bag Report 7 May 2006 20:33

Will catch up later with everyone- glad you are all still hanging on in there. jess

Eileen

Eileen Report 7 May 2006 21:52

welcome back Jess - I'm back too, after moving from Scotland to Wales - computer in box for over two weeks, feel like a bit of me was missing - hope the new house and area are everything you hoped for Eileen

Ann

Ann Report 8 May 2006 00:53

Hi all Eileen, I dont think your sister would not answer you whether she wanted contact or not..If she knew of the posting of her birth name and didnt want contact she would ask you to stop. Maybe she lives in another part of the world. Maybe she doesnt know she's adopted or maybe she has already passed. You may have to do this posting of her name the rest of your life. I hope for your sake she answers one day. And wish you the best. In Aussie we can get cousellors to contact our siblings and ask for contact.. Thats how my BS found me and how we found out about our BB. Why cant this be done in your country. Good Luck Annxx

Glen In Tinsel Knickers

Glen In Tinsel Knickers Report 8 May 2006 13:34

Hi Ann What you asked is now possible in the UK,but only started at the end of last year,and unfortunately is subject to a charge. An intermediary service may be offered to blood relatives of an adopted person,(either the local authority or an appointed intermediary service),but anyone who is trying that route at the moment is very much trailblazing,because they will be among the first ones to try. Half the time the social services don't even know what they can or can't do. Glen

Juliet

Juliet Report 8 May 2006 21:48

thinking of you all.My sons 19yo friend found out this week that his dad is his stepdad and his biological dad is in prison.He got his birth cert from his mums room for something and got a shock.Hard to believe these secrets are still kept in 2006 but when would be the right time totell a child that?My son txted me to check on his parentage,at 2.30 am,a bit shaken up. I told them that if someone brings you up from the age of 1 and you love them and call them Dad then they are Dad.

Eileen

Eileen Report 8 May 2006 22:23

hi Ann, and Glen Not very on the planet just now as my dog is quite ill and I have been up lots of times in the night, and staying by her all day. Probably you are right Ann, in that I would have been told to give up by now - maybe she was in a family that emigrated in the 1950s as lots did, maybe she is even in Australia. I know that we can now try to do it that way Glen, I just feel that I want to do it myself without having to bare my soul to a load of counsellors - very prejudiced due to prev. experiences - I know lots of you say you have found them good. Maybe I'll try that way soon. Happily baring my soul to all GR members of course - no logic there I'm afraid. Have had a message direct from a GR member giving me the name of a helpful post adoption worker in my area, so may try her Will also go up to the GRO now we are a bit nearer to it than North of Scotland - but will have to wait until dog problem solved thanks folks Eileen.

Gerry

Gerry Report 8 May 2006 23:57

Hmmmmmmmmm Having read a number of the posts on here I think I must be a bit strange, but then I thought that before! I was adopted at 5 and my adopted parents would only tell me very little about my birth parents. It turned out they were not entirely truthful! They would not even tell me my original birth name. I found out when i read it on the top of the Doctors Notes when I was about 22!!!! To be honest I was never very interested in finding out about my birth parents. However, about 2 years ago I made an 'intellectual' decision to go looking for my birth Dad purely cos he was a German POW who stayed over in England after the war. It turned out I was a bit late in looking as he died in 1960 aged 39. To be honest i have no feelinga about being adopted, and even fewer feelings about my adopted parents, who I must say brought me up well. Perhasp I was born without the capacity to care about family. I dont know. Gerry :-))