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Please help me..

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Tina-Marie

Tina-Marie Report 28 Jun 2008 09:30

My mind is in total turmoil. I need to be able to move on in my life but being stuck with two people who have betrayed me so badly is messing me up so much.
The hate I feel for the woman who has stolen my life, home and family is consuming me and is so very destructive.

He will move out in a months time, meanwhile I have to cope with him there knowing he wants her and not our home, family and me.

I know this sounds desperate, the hate I feel is not right.

~~~Secret Red ^^ Squirrel~~~  **007 1/2**

~~~Secret Red ^^ Squirrel~~~ **007 1/2** Report 28 Jun 2008 09:31

(((((((Hugs))))))

Don't worry how it sounds...you've got people who care about you here.

♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook ♥

♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook ♥ Report 28 Jun 2008 09:37

The woman who you are targetting your hate against is only half of the problem Tina.

Your partner and her are equally responsible for your unhappiness.....................a man who cheats once is likely to do so again, and a woman who will happily have an affair with someone already in a relationship is also not completely trustworthy.

Don't hate them, pity them as they will both always be wondering what the other is up to...................you are the innocent party here and will find happiness again once your hatred turns to determination to put all this hurt behind you.

Stay strong and it will all work out..............the sooner he leaves you to get on with your life the better.

Maddiecow

Maddiecow Report 28 Jun 2008 09:38

why does he have to wait a month? Cant he go to a b&b?

skwirrel 1

skwirrel 1 Report 28 Jun 2008 09:40

aww Tina

sorry to hear things have got this bad for you, maybe he will move sooner and then it will be done with.

(((((((((((big hugs for you))))))))))))

sending positive thoughts for strength and courage to you hun

Gill

♥**♥Straykitten♥**♥

♥**♥Straykitten♥**♥ Report 28 Jun 2008 09:41

tina it will get easier babes
my uncle ran of with my aunties best friend of 23 years she was devistated
but has slowly picked herself up and dusted herself down and now she is fine
your going be ok babes stay strong were all here for you hun
luv n hugs
stray
xxx

JoyBoroAngel

JoyBoroAngel Report 28 Jun 2008 09:42

black bag him hun

half the problem gone then

he is a rat anyway you deserve better xxx

if he wont go for a month

chances are she is getting cold feet about comitment xx

i hope

Kay????

Kay???? Report 28 Jun 2008 09:49


She hasnt been a sole person in this situation ,equal blame should go to each party,an awful time for you but try and focus a little ahead as to what you can do now,what can you keep intact to help you move on.or take some new direction,

Dont let hate stop you having a more self secure life,

Also at the end of the day,,whos to say this new romance will not fail later on,remember the old saying,
*you hane to live with someone before you know them* they could find they cant?

Teddys Girl

Teddys Girl Report 28 Jun 2008 09:59

My uncle ran off with another woman, and after a few years she chucked him for another man.
By all accounts she had had two before my uncle.

Although he was a blood relative, I thought serves you right for leaving a lovely wife and son.

But I know how you feel, you trusted people and they let you down. Have had this done not with relationships, but with lending things, and never getting them back.

Do wish you all the very best, hang in there.

Mo

Tina-Marie

Tina-Marie Report 28 Jun 2008 10:08

Thank you so much.. everyone.

I just need the reassurance, I am so scared. I know my life will be better in the long run.

He has to stay in the house whilst the building works are being done as he is doing them, walls to put up and floors to lay yet. Plumber coming next week to do bathrooms then it can go on the market. He will move out then. Meanwhile... horrid attitude from youngest daughter, and atmosphere whichis not good for the eldest daughter...she is my rock.
I have to be very careful with her as at the end of the day he is still her father and I would never want to break that, it wouldn't be fair on her, but she is appauled at the way he has treated us all.

Thank you again x x x x

Hayley   Empress of Drama

Hayley Empress of Drama Report 28 Jun 2008 10:14

Tuna ..lovely to see you...I can only echo what others have said....all of it...I know its hard to not to blame him as much as her as you love him and thats when it hits home... I have felt this raw pain and anger I was 18 when my first marriage broke down and I had a 6mth old baby, the pain I went through at the time I wouldnt wish on my worse enermy....but I did....lol ( the other women ) ........the thing is you will never ever feel it again.. xxxxx

ஐ+*¨^¨*+e+*¨^¨*+ஐ Mildred Honkinbottom

ஐ+*¨^¨*+e+*¨^¨*+ஐ Mildred Honkinbottom Report 28 Jun 2008 10:16

Why cant he go live with her now ?

I would tell him he needs to move out by the end of the week at the latest, if he wants her, he should go to her now rather than make life upsetting for you because its convenient for him to stay.

Remember, not all men are like this one.

Everything happens for a reason, and that reason being in this case, mr right will be somewhere in your future...and believe me, he will be worth waiting for :o))

Let this all end, put it behind you and take this next year as a healing year.

See blokes as friends & keep it light ....dont look for romance and romance will find you, often when you re least expecting it :o))

ஐ+*¨^¨*+e+*¨^¨*+ஐ Mildred Honkinbottom

ஐ+*¨^¨*+e+*¨^¨*+ஐ Mildred Honkinbottom Report 28 Jun 2008 10:17

ps just seen your last post Tina (got sidetracked by son & heir )

Hayley   Empress of Drama

Hayley Empress of Drama Report 28 Jun 2008 10:24

If I was in your shoes Tina I would be a lyer if I said I wasn't scared , in a years time you will surprize yourself Tina...you will look back and think where did I find my strengh ....?

Like a flowering opening....blooming with in its own right....indepenace here I come.....and you will never look back.....in 6mths he start pecking your head as he will realise the grass isnt greener on the other side, He will miss you and it will annoy him that he was'nt the centre of your world..as Elaine said everything happens for a reason......this flower has to grow...

Whirley

Whirley Report 28 Jun 2008 10:39

TM sorry to hear what a dreadful time you are going through. He will be the loser in the long run and it sounds as if he doesn't deserve you anyway!!

You will be happy again...try and be strong for your kids.

xx

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&#

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&# Report 28 Jun 2008 10:43

Tuna, what you're feeling at this moment is all your emotions rolled into one, hurt, anger, frustration, regret, grief, fear and you are now ready to start to move forward...

THEY made you feel like this, she for coming in a wrecking your life, and him because he didn't exactly go to her kicking and screaming. Nobody has the right to make you feel like this, nobody.

But...if someone does, then get rid...they are not worth the energy.

I would be inclined to go shopping one day, tell him you will be 2 hours, be gone when you get back...

I doesn't deserve to share your home with you...no matter what the reason...the house is bricks and mortar, but the home is YOURS, dont' GIVE him anything...make him work for it.

As for the future, dont' allow yourself to get bitter, again they are not worth the energy. Concentrate on YOU. In a year - 18 months, you will be so strong, and you'll look back on this wondering where your inner strength came from. I can tell you, we are women, its been there all along.

Just remember, you are a lovely, genuine person, I've met you, I know. The problem is his, not yours.

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 28 Jun 2008 11:00

Just think of the building works as squeezing whatever you can out of him, to benefit your future. Give the house a lick of paint when he's gone - and make sure he goes - I painted every room in my house various shades of pink - because he hated the colour - I wasn't too keen on it, but boy, did I feel better!! It was like a freedom to do whatever I wanted, didn't have to take anyone elses opinion into account :o)

MaryinSpain

MaryinSpain Report 28 Jun 2008 11:01

Can't add anything to this as it has already been said. So sending you (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
Take care
Love Mary xx

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&#

₪ TeresaW elite empress of deleted threads&# Report 28 Jun 2008 11:20

Maggie (once again) I did exactly the same, when he left I got the paintbrushes out and painted the house in bright warm colours rather than the pale colours that he had insisted on...

Boy did I feel better!

A friend told me that is typical, that lots of women do that....

Tina-Marie

Tina-Marie Report 28 Jun 2008 11:25

LOL Teresa and Maggie...

The walls are currently plaster pink... my family are coming over in the middle of July and we are having a painting party.