General Chat

Huia and Sharron

I had no ear muffs and heard nothing so I hope that was a good sign.
Yes what a lovely day. We are heading off for our morning coffee. BH will have her lemon tart and hot chocolate and I my flat white. I do not think that I will have anything to eat. I must be off colour for my face is red this morning. However it may be BP from stress hearing about police, broken cars, catheters not doing their job and Tena Ladies so I think I will give it a miss this morning until we turn over the page to 19.
(No offence Sharron, it's just my warped sense of humour)

Regards

Bob
PS Had a very pleasant surprise last night. Had cooked a stew in the slow cooker. After BH eating the first helping which surprised me, (for she has a mid-day meal, with pudding when at care centre), then she said about an hour later that she wanted her dinner and sat and had another helping.
I have always thought that an empty plate was the best reward for the cook and now I am sure that it is.

Bob, my hubby got up at 5 one morning, had his cuppa and breakfast and 2 hours later he made another cuppa and breakfast. The brain just does not know that he has eaten.

I am confident that he will go into a secure rest home, probably the one of my choice as they have said they will hold a bed for a couple of weeks while he is being assessed. My main problem now is to get my eyes tested for new glasses. I am getting that done this afternoon. I definitely need them, and I need to get back to a normal sleeping routine.

Huia.

Sorry if I have squashed your pride in your cooking, Bob!
I am sure it was very good anyway.

Huia.

Huia

You could not dent my belief in my cooking skills, my siblings and I all had good training in our early days. Oh that was so long ago, when we loved beef dripping on fresh home baked bread and when we each had a stuffed sheep's heart (3d. each) for a good roast dinner. At least you knew what you were getting and the pork or chicken of today had not been injected with a mixture of fatty emulsifiers and water to increase the weight. Mum put the dripping on the roast before it was put into the oven. Why I have I lived so long???
I wonder who's off colour now?

Sharron
Must be the sun, I was feeling so much better (and after all I was joking) that I decided to have a scone with my coffee. I could almost put my red face down to sunburn and it's still winter!

Bob

Another minor glitch for me. Went for an eye test today as I knew I needed new glasses. Told I have dry eye. Rather ironic in view of the amount of tears I have shed this year.

Bob, have you been out in a cold wind? It could be windburn you have. (No, not heart burn or wind. At least I hope not, but with your cooking who knows?)

Huia.

Hi Huia

I will be out in the wind at golf tomorrow morning but that does not give me a red face.
No it was my warped sense of humour responding to you ladies talking about Tena Ladies. I can either pretend I am embarrassed or tell of the time I had to go to the chemist for BH's problem with constipation. Now I would much rather eat sheep's hearts or dripping on my bread than have to deal with that problem. Having been a farmer for seventeen years in my retirement if I saw that action was needed during calving or lambing I only rang the vet. if I thought it was critical, if you get my drift.
Your imagination may bring tears of laughter to those dry eyes, if not, read the PPS..

Bob
PS I always ensure that plenty of fresh fruit is in the diet from now on.
PPS To all, I am sorry if I have caused real red faces with such comments but normally "Mums" and not "Dads" dealt with such incoveniences.

Bob, you make my mouth water! I can provide the homemade bread, but not the dripping, it would have to be Marmite!When I was young a group of us girls would go for long walks, about 15 miles, and we always ended up in a working mans cafe, where you could buy the most delicious dripping toast. Imagine offering that to todays teenagers!

Today's visit didnt go so well. They couldnt get another sedative pill into him. I had taken a Mars bar which I had chopped into bite sizes for him so we slipped the pill inside one piece which I offered him. He ate it like a lamb despite the fact that he has lost his dentures. But then he said in an aside to me, this place is a trap, they are trying to poison me. He was dead set on coming home with me. I said I was too tired to care for him and he said he would drive. We argued for quite a while about whether he could drive or come home. Finally I think he said I might as well b***** off then so I said I would, leapt up and headed for the door. One of the nurses had been aware of our arguing so she opened the door to let me out before he got there. I was in tears. I rang a couple of hours after I got home and he sounded a bit drugged up. He said they were going to have a race but it hadnt started. He also said that he had spent (or was it lost he said) his money from his purse. I hadnt given him any to take in so it is all in his imagination. A couple of men had taken him for a walk this morning, presumably hospital workers of some sort and didnt have trouble getting him back to the ward. But I am told he has broken the glass window in one of the doors. I am surprised it isnt stronger than that.

I wont be visiting tomorrow, I have been out every day this week and desperately need to stay home and relax. A friend came up at 5pm when I was in tears. It is the 2nd time she has done that but it is so nice to have sympathetic friends.

Huia.

Sorry I was a bit flippant yesterday Huia.
You certainly have had a hard day in all ways and particularly adding the current emotions to those that you had accumulated up to the point of your OH going into secure care.
I hope that you get as relaxing a weekend as you can manage in the circumstances.

Kind regards

Bob

Bob, I didnt notice you being flippant. Probably because I also have a Kiwi sense of humour.

I was in bed at 9 but here I am back on the compute at 4.17am. I did sleep for 3 hours but then came the tossing and turning so I am playing on here until a half sleeping tab kicks in. I just hope I have the sense to crawl back to bed before it is too late. Better go now, having trouble spelling the words correctly, so it must be working.

Huia. zzzzzzzzzz

Son and his wife came up from Rotorua yesterday to visit their dad so I went with them. It went much beter than the previous day. He was properly sedated and they had found his teeth in one of his socks in a drawer. He hadnt worn them for about 3 days so he was complaining that the top plate was loose. And of course he wanted to come home, but d.i.l. and son kept explaining that he couldnt. No real arguments and no tears for me, the best visit yet. But another night when I woke up just after midnight after only 1 and half hours sleep. Didnt get back to sleep for about 3 hours (after half a sleeping tab which I had hoped to avoid) Then woke at 6.30 so still short of sleep. I have had my breakfast so might lie down again and have another hour or so before I go to pay my rates. They are due this week if I dont want a penalty added.

Huia.

Huia
Hope you are OK as you haven't added for a couple of days.

I keep thinking of you and hope you have been able to see Phil and that things will soon get the care that you both need for him.

Linda :o) XxXX

Hi Linda.

I didnt visit Phil on Monday as I had a lot of things to do in Pukekohe including paying rates.

I went to visit him yesterday and it was the usual 'lets go home' 'no' routine. He kept trying to open doors to get out. I am told he tries to break down the doors and until he calms down he wont be going to the rest home. Looks as if he will be permanently in the hospital. He was a lovely man, but cooping him up in a place where he cant see very much at all outdoors is not ideal for him. One of the male nurses does sometimes take him for a bit of a walk around a bigger garden when he has time, but it is not the same as the half/full day hikes he is used to. I just wish he would die in his sleep, it is no life for him, or for me seeing him like this. The hospital is trying him on a different medication to see if it helps but I didnt notice it yesterday.

Huia.

Huia
So sad to read how hard it is for Phil in the hospital.

It is another horrible effect of this terrible illness. I remeber my mother in law becoming quite vicious. Mainly it was her tongue, luckily for us not too physical. But very sad all the same.

I hope the medication helps Phil and that a safe place can be found for him and he can get outside more, which is possibly a big frustration for him.

Keeping you in my thoughts

Linda :o) XxX

Thanks for that Linda. He did 'threaten' to thump me yesterday but I said you have never ever thumped me and you wouldnt start now. In the past he would mock raise his fist but he never ever hit me - apart from the time he hit me on the head with a hammer, but only because I went up the ladder behind him just as he was taking a swing at a nail!

Huia.

Huia, how sad for you to see Phil cooped up and so unhappy, I do hope the doctors can sort out suitable medication for the poor man so he is not so stressed and then can go to that nursing home instead of staying in hospital. I can understand you feeling things would be better if he died but it seems such a shame that if only they can fix the right medication, he could have some sort of quality of life for a little longer.
It's too much for you to bear tho and must make you drained and sad at heart. I am glad you managed to get some sleep and hope things sort themselves out soon.
Also hope the visit to the doctor goes/went ok, and you are reassured about the dry eye etc and got something to help that problem.

take care, have been thinking about you but not keeping up with my emails etc very well let alone on here.

Love and hugs, my friend
Lizxx

I have a sinus infection, so have some ointment to shove up my nose twice a day for a week. I wonder what will be next.

My photo is in one of the local papers, holding my calendar! I picked up 8 of the papers today so will send that article to you with your calendar, Liz, when I get a round tuit.

Huia.

Hi Huia

My family, I and many others in similar situations would much prefer that it took longer so that the destination at which you have both now arrived becomes an uncompleted journey for our own loved one.

The more difficult part now is for Phil, if he is even capable, to come to terms with his loved tramps being conveyed to the same historic place where his many other loves and interests rest. For you it is sad to watch but this is similar to the sadness of the period of "half-life" that you have been experiencing for so long. You have put your all into your own "Long Goodbye". The light of the lamp is waning to a flicker compared with the shine that it once was. Only one knows when its fuel will be finally exhausted and its light burns no more.

Very best wishes

Bob

Thanks Bob, even if you have made me blubber again. And thanks to everybody else as well. It is nice to know that there are others who understand and care about me.

I told the doc about Phils behaviour. Apparently our doc is not (as I had suggested) playing golf on the days he isnt available to us but has an office in the hospital, so he gave me his office number. I am not sure if that is so that I can see him, or if I want him to come to the ward to see Phil.

My d.i.l. has been told that if his behaviour doesnt improve he will have to go to a different resthome/hospital as the one I wanted cant cope with bad behaviour. His behaviour, apart from waking me in the night and wanting to go walking and disappearing was quite normal until he went into the hospital. He just wants to come home and go walking but he cant and it is so frustrating for him. I dont think he will ever settle down until his brain is further gone.

Huia.

Problem is that the mind is in trouble but the body still works just fine.He doesn't get the chance to get tired does he?
I don't suppose there is chance for him to do much physical at all is there?
One of the carers said that they couldn't imagine my dad in an old peoples home passing a beanbag.Phil probably needs a good workout.