General Chat

of my late Dad's cousin Joyce, who was 89 in June, who was planning to go into respite care today while her home was redecorated after having new central heating earlier in the year. She got herself in a state about going and was already unwell. I rang last evening to wish her luck and her son answered the phone, she was rushed into hospital in the early hours of Monday morning, with a possible uti but might be other problems. She had already said she didn't know if she was going to be able to cope any longer living alone (her hubby died a year ago after going into care with Alzheimers) and now I think this will be the final straw altho the son and d.i.l. are going ahead with the decorating and recarpeting etc. I hope it will inspire her to fight on and get back home, she is such a wealth of info about Dad's family, and I have been trying to arrange to visit her, staying with a cousin a few miles from her in Banbury. It would be so sad if she has to give up her home without reaping the benefit of spending all that money on heating and decorating etc, she was telling me that the new wallpaper was £12+ a roll, bless her, when I spoke to her last week.

Lizx


Update:

Yesterday evening I received a call from the d.i.l. of my Dad's cousin, to hear that sadly Joyce has died in hospital, on Thursday morning. She was 89, would have been 90 in June.
She was taken ill at the nursing home with a chest infection and despite being given antibiotics (which apparently didn't agree with her) when they got her to hospital , her organs shut down and she passed away.
I am selfishly sad for myself, that I never got to visit her and since her trip to hospital last August and then being put in a temporary nursing home some weeks later, I wasn't able to chat with her at all. We used to have wonderful conversations about the family as she had so much information in her head and told so many little anecdotes that brought my Dad's family to life for me. It was Joyce who told me about Gt. Grandfather (her Grandfather) the Stone Mason working on Liverpool Cathedral etc and so much more, I would not have known how my Grandfather died, or how many daughters my Gt Uncle in Liverpool had etc etc and now all that knowledge has gone. The d.i.l. said Joyce had started to write some of the stories down after I suggested it but then she got weaker and hadn't done any more.
We exchanged Christmas cards but I didn't have a phone number to contact her at the home and didn't hear any more from the relatives since before Christmas and then with feeling unwell myself after my fall, hadn't contacted them or Joyce in any way.

I know how much Joyce missed her husband Ernest who died in 2008 just a few months before their 66th wedding anniversary, after he had to go in a home because of Alzheimers. Joyce was no longer well enough to look after them both and that upset her.I hope she is now reunited with him and with my parents and aunt and uncle with whom they would spend time when Mum and Dad went to stay with my aunt and uncle.
Rest in Peace Joyce, a wonderful lady who will be sadly missed.

Lizxx

I send special positive healing thoughts.
Brian(i)

Thinking of your "cousin" Liz and hope she is well enough to return to her home once it has been decorated for her, and that she gets to enjoy the work being done.

Linda :o) XxX

Sending postive thoughts for Joyce and hope she is home soon
Dutchxx

sending positive thougts and prayers that she will be home soon x

Hi Liz,

I'm saying a prayer for her today.





Marilyn xx

Sending her positive thoughts, hope she is soon on the mend, and back in her own home xxx

Hope all goes well for your Dads Cousin.

Hello Liz...positive thoughts on the way to your Dads cousin:o))
Hope she is back home soon.
jude xxxx

Liz

Sorry to hear about your relative being taken unwell. From a nursing point of view, UTIs are notorious for causing confusion in the elderly. Providing the docs put her on the approprate medication she may begin to recover quite quickly. Also, do not be surprised if the medication changes fairly frequently, this is again to do with each test being evaluated as to what is best.
I have added your relative to my "Quiet Positive Thoughts" each day and along with everyone else hope she is better soon.

Bridget

Liz,
Sending positve thoughts for you and your Dad's cousin, I too am going through an anxious time with my Dad at the moment so I know where your coming from.

Take care
Regards
Helen

Hello Liz,

I hope your late dad's cousin will get well soon, and can return to her home as planned.

Best wishes,

Sallie.x

Wishing your Dads Cousin Joyce a fast recovery
All the best

Deb x

Oh Liz, sorry to hear about your dad's cousin. I'm sending lots of positive thoughts that she will be home soon.

Caz xx

Dear Purple

Sending special gentle and caring thoughts.

Take care of yourself and your family.

Very sincere wishes
xxx

Thank you all, I am hoping she is fighting back. The daughter in law is a bit negative and says she hasn't a lot of patience when she visits the old lady at home, nor is the son, as the old lady is demanding and not appreciative. I suppose familiarity can breed contempt but she is always so pleased when I phone and says thank you for phoning, thank you for thinking of me, so it's strange to hear a different side to her. My parents were always very close with her and her husband as they were good friends with my Dad's favourite sister so when Mum and Dad went to stay with his sis, the six of them would go out together.
She sent me a photo of her in with my recent birthday card, bless her, as I had said I didn't have an uptodate one, and they had to take one for the respite care registration so she thought of sending me one too. It sits on the shelf where I can see it, and I keep hoping she will be ok. She has not been able to sleep in a bed for months because she has a bad leg that means if the carers put her to bed and she gets out in the night for the loo, she can't get that leg back in again. She has been sleeping in her recliner chair all that while and has had dreadful pressure sores, so life has been very difficult for her. The d.i.l. whinged on about how she is getting ill herself over the m.i.l. as she has her boys to look after. Fgs, they are in their late twenties, time for them to help out with chores or visit their gran sometimes, they are only across the town from her yet even when the son and d.i.l go away for a week, which they have done three times this year so far, the boys only phone, they don't go round to see their gran. Makes me cross, they are the only family apart from a sister in law and a niece, that she has.

Lizx

Sending postitive thoughts Liz, and hope she fights to get well, and see her lovely decorated home.

I called Joyce's son yesteday evening, he said they had been to see her in the hospital and she was feeling a bit better, apparently she had been moaning about the food and the noise so he said that meant she was better than she had been. He and his wife went out to get something Joyce wanted and missed the doctor's visit so are none the wiser about her problems, I do feel they are very impatient with her and have the selfish streak that I have seen in some of our family members. I know they have been busy preparing the room for the decorator to go in today and Monday - apparently poor old Ernest had painted and repainted over wallpaper so it took a while to strip. Her son said he didn't have a steamer, why on earth didn't he hire one, too mean perhaps? I get the feeling he is a bit careful with money, he said he didn't know whether to recarpet or not, or just put down some temporary foam back carpet tiles he had in case Joyce doesn't come home again, seems she has mentioned going to live permanently in a home and the doctors have said they aren't sure of her regaining much mobility. I do hope she can at least go back for a little while to see her room and sort out some of her things. A lot was packed away when the heating was done in May, so it will be a big job to sort things out and move her out for ever and put the house up for sale.
C. said it was his Dad's birthday yesterday and Joyce forgot, or didn't mention it, so they didn't so as not to upset her. I am sure when she realises the date (she has obviously lost track of the date in hospital) she will get upset that she hadn't remembered. Bless her.

Lizx

Hello Liz,
glad to see that Joyce seems to be improving, especially as she is complaining about the food. Fingers crossed that she may be able to get back to her home, even if it is only for a short while.

My prayers and thoughts to you all.

Helen

I rang Joyce's son the other evening, he says she is still in hospital but he doesn't know much, there is never anyone there to speak to! Fgs, why doesn't he ask to see the consultant, it's two weeks now and he doesn't work so could easily pop in to see him and find out what's going on. More tests are on the cards apparently and also possibly injections to help her knee so that she can get about more. If they get her out to sit in the chair she can't get back in bed herself, which is the reason she has been sleeping in the recliner chair for months, at home!
Poor Joyce, I bet she is so fed up. If it was my Mum I would be wanting answers. I suppose they think while she is in hospital they don't have to worry about her so much. They only visit every other day or so yet are close by.

Lizx