General Chat

Phillip Schofield faced a barrage of criticism from This Morning viewers yesterday after he admitted he had left one of his daughters to cry in her room as a baby - as he sat outside the door with a glass of wine.

Phillip, 50, explained how his first born, Molly, just would not go off to sleep.

"Our first daughter wouldn't sleep," he said, "Eventually we had a barbecue and that night I said, 'I'm done with this.' So I sat on the landing with a glass of wine and let her cry."

The presenter went on to explain how Molly wouldn't settle for hours.

"She screamed for an hour, two hours. Eventually she went to sleep. It was like breaking a horse," he said.

The Sun reports that viewers objecting to Phillip's parenting skills took to Facebook to vent their anger, with one writing 'I cannot believe you are justifying this'.

Phillip has two daughters with his wife Stephanie, Molly and Ruby, who are now in their late teens.


What are your thoughts? Was he right or wrong?

Sue

Many child care books suggest(ed) that approach. Would there have been such an outcry if he was drinking a cup of coffee?

I'm sorry but i did that too...not for as long as he did...and not with a drink of any variety ...but she was crying because she was tired....and the only answer was sleep I'd tried everything else..it becomes a vicious circle letting them sleep in your arms because as soon as you try to transfer them to their cot they'd wake up !!!!! i wss crying outside the door myself but after that she settled in her cot brilliantly !!! x

Well done Muffy & Well done Phillip Schofield. Some times you have to try things like that after you have given everything else a go. It's about time people got to thinking about what they are told & by who they are told by, or whay they read. No such thing as a text book child, thats what makes us all different, because we are different.

Super Nanny would do the same! I did it with first one - on advice from mother. I cried all the time she cried - but it worked.

Don't you just love all these "knowledgeable "people who complain how other people bring up there children, some of them probably aren't even parents themselves and have no idea, but are experts and know what's best for others.

If Phillip Schofield sat outside the door with a glass of wine, so what?

There are people who never stray further than the front door, have no idea what life is like, round the corner, or on the other side of the world, but expect everyone to do as they do, or as they SAY they do, big difference.

Thankfully most of us do as we think is best, and don't read the Sun:-D

Parents can tell the difference in crying noises. Pain, hunger/wet and just plain 'I'll cry till you pick me UP'

I had the problem with son who was a pain in the butt at night! He used to rock his cot across the floor! Didn't make one iota of difference how tired he was as soon as he was lowered into his cot the yelling would start.

He was left to cry and usually settled after an hour or so. Then he'd sleep through and wake up as happy as Larry.

Having frayed nerves and banging ear drums was worth it. Getting 3 children under 3 years old to bed we had to be tough in order to give them all the same amount of Mummy and Daddy time.

I wonder how many of those criticising him are parents themselves?

Our youngest grandchild was a crier as a baby, he cried and cried despite all efforts to pacify him he would go into uncontrollable outbursts of loud crying. This was not tantrums or from pain he just cried, bed times were a nightmare which always resulted in waking the older boy. His parents were both physically and mentally exhausted. DIL read about a study of so-called behavioural sleep techniques such as controlled crying – where the parent waits a certain amount of time before settling the child the study found they had no marked, long-lasting negative effects. I think from pure desperation they tried it for a couple of weeks. I have to say it was heartbreaking to see him get so distressed, but it worked and he soon settled. He will be two years old on Valentines day, he is the happiest cheeriest of chap.

I didn't 'grow my own' but it was hardly rocket science to work out that rushing to a baby the moment it squeaked was teaching it that crying = parents attention.

I never dared say " just leave him/her a while" of course because what do I know? I'm below the likes of Baby Ps mother and the Matthews woman don't you know.

Sorry, but the 'who does she think she is, never had a baby' bleat makes me angry - producing your own does not automatically a good parent make! :-| :-|

Philip did nothing wrong in my opinion , it is being made a big deal of because he is not the most popular person just now due to other things ., just an excuse for the public to have another bash at him .

Island, sorry don't understand your post :-( have we upset you?

Having a child does not make you a good parent but it sure as heck gives you a lot of experience, good and bad. You soon learn ‘what’ sort of cry means ‘what’

My children were good in terms of sleeping, I don’t know if I was lucky or I got the bedtime routine right?

I did take advice from a friend who had had a baby the year before me. She recommended not to turn the lights on when I fed during the night..... 'feed, wind, change' and put them straight back to bed - worked a treat for me, but maybe that makes me a bad parent

There is nothing wrong with leaving a baby to cry, so long as you remain within earshot and don’t go down the pub!

Sue, I was still composing when you posted so didn't see your post.

Both you and Lynda wonder if those criticizing are parents themselves. I see and hear this sort of comment so often and to be honest find it hurtful and offensive.
Not having babies of ones own does not make someone incapable of common sense or sensitivity towards children.

I don't see why those complaing in this case would be those without children - why would they be bothered to involve themselves?
I wouldn't mind betting that the vast majority who complained were young new parents who think having a baby for 5 minutes makes them an expert.
I know of one young mother who, having just had her first baby, dismissed her doctors advice with "what does she know? she hasn't even got any children"

This attitude towards those who haven't had children has been spouted for a long time so I'm not having a go at you and Lynda personally. :-)

Used to give ours a little hot water with a tiny,tiny drop of Brandy in it, Worked a treat. :-D :-D

Oooh Merlin

You might want to delete that post before someone reports you to childline ;-)

:-D

GINs I understand Brandy has been replaced by Calpol




Can I say Calpol?

I think I had better not comment lol, as with many things I have a rather 'alternative' view ;-)

I dismissed a lot of 'good advice' ( from parents and non-parents alike lol) in favour of commonsense and what worked for us.

Generally speaking, it's best not to give others advice on how to raise their child, it's not your child, it may well be different in temperament and needs to yours, and all it will do is cause friction if you try to tell people that you did this or that.

Island, before any of us are parents, obviously we haven't had children, but what we think we would do before we have them, often changes once the babies appear. I know that happened with me.

When I worked with parents who had children in care, some had not a clue, of what to do, even the obvious things, like not letting a toddler open a door onto a main road, that's just one of the things that happened when I was visiting a Mum, taking her 3 children to see her, when I pointed out that she needed to watch the toddler, when he was near the door, she asked why, when I explained, she told me, that that's what she liked about me, I always explained things to her. I'd never put a parent down for what they did, I may of raised my voice a few times, but only when a child was in danger.

I wasn't saying that because anyone who hasn't a child, wouldn't know anything about children, I'm saying, how on earth can anyone criticize something they haven't first hand experience of, and in Phillip Schofield's case, how could even a mother of 10 criticize what he did, because they don't know his particular situation.

Paula I know someone who advised Calpol all the time to me... I never used it, never needed to use it and it didn't really work for them either lol.

The one thing that is certain is that children grow out of everything... when they are little you try to get them to sleep more, and not get up too early...and when they are teens you try to get them to sleep less and get up on time :-D

Paula

I think you might get away with Calpol, not too much though ;-)