General Chat

Zoo keeper sticks head around bar door. Dave, there you are! Mr Head of Security! I heard a rumour that some of my camels are out? I was taking them for a gallop across the silver sands, makes 'em feel at home, you know, and some of them got so frisky they whizzed off. I had so much sand kicked in my face I couldn't follow them but I've now got most of them back in their pens. Can you help me catch the rest? After we've downed a couple of beers of course!

Excuse me Madam Zoo Keeper. Do you need some help with yer camels??? My name is Cora the Camel Coaxer....have trained the pesky humpies all over the world, especially in places where there is sand...(beginning to sound a bit like that Aussie)....Theres a knack to it you see, you just reach one arm around their...shall I demonstrate?? It is an ART.....

The breakfast menu is the same as yesterday. It looks like no one even saw or ate it! So - if you want to know whats for breakfast look back on yeaterdays bullitin board Sassy -Assistant chef

I saw it Asst Cook but, breakie is not my thing after a night on the bevvies - but.........if you have any more of those magic mushrooms, then I could perhaps be tempted........... George the Parson

Sassy, I think you'll find that I had croissants and strawberry preserve yesterday and I would like the same today, please. Gwynne (ents)

Morning all. Lovely breakfast cook. I'm sure the guests will be most impressed at the wide choice. I had the prune juice, followed by fruit (including prunes).Right. I'm off to my office..... Claire CSM

The Entertaiment manager rises early. She was unable to get into the main building yesterday evening as it was so crowded. After breakfast she plans a tour of the grounds to ensure all is well with the guests. Gwynne (ents)

As no member of staff attended to my phone request for a full english breakfast yesterday morning and I am still waiting 24 hrs later-I have left without paying my bill- Fartington -Wellby I shall be writing to the Tourist Board

Sits up from behind a bar stool. Oo 'eck, it's morning and no camels caught. Cora the camel-coaxer I would love some help, thanks for the offer. I never know what to do with the pesky things! Now elephants and tigers are much more my scene. I think I'd better be off and muck out the menagerie. Ooh my head... Staggers to her feet holding her head and stomach, totters to the door.

Hang on, do I smell bacon and eggs? Hope so, the orang-utans love that for their breakfast. And what's this? Looks like not all the guests finished their fruit, I'll just grab a binbag and fill it up for the monkeys. Wonder how they'll like prunes? Totters on, dragging bag behind her. Disappears through French doors into gardens.

You see,You totally ignore your guests-You spend your days playing games-perhaps I should join the staff.

Cora the Camel Coaxer nibbles on the mushroom omelette she has cooked for herself. Sighs with contentment...got a new job she thinks... I like working with animals...much less complicated than humans. Tries not to think of Maggie the Gardener...last seen screaming in terror in the Ladies Loo....Mmmmmmm this is NICE she thinks....munching away... a warm and mad glow coursing thru her body...the magic mushrooms are working their insideous way....I think I could take over the world..she thinks calmly...I certainly can fly...tee hee....must go and feed the camels some of me omelette....

The Entertainments Manager wanders around the grounds. She thinks she can see someone dragging some bin liners through the trees. She walks to the animal compound and looks on astonished as she sees a camel runnning fast then jumping, only to land on its stomach with its legs splayed around it., looking puzzled. She thinks it best to go back to her room to prepare for the day. On her way through reception she can hear a strange howling noise coming from the restroom. She decides not to investigate and hopes that security will pick it up. Gwynne (ents)

Sobbing, my face, what has that crazy woman done. I dont look like me anymore. I look like, oh whats her name that welsh one, married to that american actor. Dont know if I like this, everyone will look at me. I will be stared at. Is it too early for a drink, Ive been hiding in here all night and someone is bound to come in. The cleaners, oh no, must hide.

Gwynne's Mummy sits in a boat with what is left of her designer luggage. So far she has tried 16 islands and not found her precious baby. If only she could remember the name. Gwynne's Mum Gwennie

*Fat Lady Cook shuffles into the kitchen and makes for the staff bulletin board* Oh dear! That uppity little Sassy is at it again!, She did not do the breakfast menu. Lazy little so and so. Has she not heard of copy and paste! Oh Well it too late to do it now, breakfast is over. Anyway, I only come on duty for the lunch and dinner shift. *Fat Lady pours a cup of black coffee and shuffles out the door to find a quite spot in the garden to sit and meditate*

good morning everyone how are we today oh i see my stock has arrived must sort that out before i do anything else

I had better get down to the pool area and supervise the barbeque.....I hope those waiters are around to serve drinks to the guests because it is not in my job description.... Fat Lady Cook

Bec strolls into the hotel reception... Hmmm... wonder where that silly strumpet is who is supposed to be the receptionist...? Am going to wander out to the pool and see if I can find that watersports instructor.... Becx (Casino Manager)

On the Beach. Come on my lil beauties!!!! My darlin Camels from the Sahara!!! You CAN swim......Course you can....You can do anything you want me humpies, anything!!! Watch how I do it and follow me....Cora proceeds to take off her layers of unsavoury garments throwing them to the breeze.... There she stands in all her glory, her 56in chest all aquiver with excitement....You can FLY if you want!!!! Takes them gently into the sky blue waves....