General Chat

Every time I go away I come home to something demolished. He felled my Mountain ash 3 hols ago my pink jasmine 2 hols ago and now my field maple and my clematis montana. He says they are in his garden and it's nothing to do with me ( weve been married 51 years in August) I dread coming home. What would you do? Elaine.

Send him away at the same time:)

If he wants the garden, you have the house! Move him into the shed ;-)

LOL Janice,
i was going to say something along
those lines , but thought i'd better not :)))))))
Hazelx

What a strange thing for him to say. Maybe it is your kitchen and nothing to do with him!!!

Elaine, well that's awful but par for the course I suppose, if he has done it before, you probably weren't surprised altho upset! Maybe you have to decide how much to put up with!

My o.h. is hopeless if I go away alone, he moves things under trees so they don't get any rain and one year he was so preoccupied with painting the then new fence, he forgot to water anything and my two wonderful indoor hibiscus plants that were very special to me, shrivelled up and died, he said he forgot about watering cos he wanted to get the fence done while the weather was so hot! Idiot! He managed to kill one of my camellias last time I wasn't around in similar manner, forgetting to water it and leaving it under a tree! He hates all the plants I have in pots and tubs and as it is his house and his garden, he thinks that makes it alright! One of these days I will get myself sorted and leave him to his laundry and cooking and every blasted thing !


Lizxx

Use the axe to fell him,if it all belongs to him,let him do his own washing and cooking ,part exchange the old s** ,Fred.

Liz, haven't you worked out yet that, if you expect more than one thing to be done, he'll need a list!!
And yes - if it's HIS house, it must be HIS housework! You can't have your cake AND eat it!!
LOL Good luck ;-)

Oooooh MEN! Having probs with mine too - must be the blinky weather!

I am on strike at present time OH has to do his own meals, washing, ironing etc etc until he comes round to realise that I actually do do something around the house and its not just him going to work - that will teach him! Of course I will probably relent later on and cook him tea, I am too soft!

But sometimes enough is enough and talking of gardening, he always mows over my plants in the garden I think he does it on purpose to see what reaction or level of reaction I take. If he had his way it would be concrete all over! Ooooh, they may have their uses but honestly sometimes you wonder why you bother. Rant over lol

Tina x

Your fault, Elaine and Liz:) You allowed it to happen before so they keep on keeping on. People including husbands treat us the way we allow them to. Easy for me to speak:))

Sue x

Hit him in the wallet Elaine - go out and replace them all! lol

Tina x

I agree with sue, but how we miss them when their not around any more.
lynn

Hi There, Sorry to hear about the tree stories but it could have been so much worse, when I read the thread headline I went cold-------I was thinking if my husband demolished my family tree with his medling whilst I was away I would kill him................................then I read on and found it was a living breathing tree.......................maybe it'll grow back????
Tina

Another one who thought you meant your family tree! lol

Dear Elaine,

Island said it all for me-how about " OUR garden," "OUR trees"?? Surely you both share the garden? If not,that is very sad... What keeps you together?

Sorry to be so negative.

Margot.

Think you should kill husband and bury him under your roses, flying doctor. Sure it must be against medical ethics, but it may do the trick.

LOL

Meri x

The ones who said MINE ans HIS are right but he laid down the ground rules, if I say ours he goes absolulty mad. The garden is a wallled one at the rear of the house ( note I say the house) because he says it is his house as his mother gave it to him, (we had been married over 10 years then) My oh cannot share anything so I find it easier not to say ours. I can't spend his money as he doesn't give me any, I still part time work and he has not worked for over 30years. I did feel like slashing the tyers on HIS five cars but that would make me as bad as he is. I stopped giving him money for my keep, his word not mine, about five years ago as I was sick of the MY attitude However I do buy carpets funiture soft furnishings and kitchen equipment etc. I do also do the cooking cleaning and dog walking so I think I earn MY keep. How have I stuck it, well I take each day at a time and time goes by without my really noticing how the years have flown. Many thanks for you comments it is nice to hear all points of veiw, I know I'm a mug but I have decided to see a solicitor and wil see what they say.Elaine.

Good luck, Elaine. He has treated you like a doormat and will get a very nasty shock when he finds out you are legally entitled to your half of HIS(not!) things.

I would prune his plums.!
In the end it will ALL be yours, relax !

Oh Elaine.

I too thought he had writ off your family tree lol.

What a selfish and spoilt little boy, cause that is what he is really. But to have stayed with him this long you must love him. I am dam sure I would have been long gone by now.

Before my hubbys mum died she made her house over to my husband legally as he was the only one, she died last year so we moved into it...prior to us doing this my husband immediatly put my name on the deeds as it is a family home so should anything happen to him the kids and I still have a house.

We have been married 15yr this year and everything is shared opinions, children etc.

But should he suddenly start being like your Husband then by golly he would really have to watch out, he can't cook, only recently (due to me being in hospital) has an idea how to use the washer.

I don't work as I look after the kids so don't have any money of my own, but what is his is mine and whats mine is his and it works fine.

You are not a mug Elaine, far from it your stuck in a rut and the sooner you can get out of it the better really.

Hope the solicitor has something positive to say and advise you accordingly.