General Chat

In a hammock being fanned by the young women with the lovely bunch of coconuts...

Allan had to rub his eyes to make sure he was seeing right.....his wonderful OH AND the lady with the lovely bunch of coconuts....paradise....but this being a story about Allan and his travel woes we all know that couldn't last don't we.......

Allan slowly came out of the deep hypnosis that the Psychiatrist had induce in him

“Wow!” he exclaimed, “I did think that coming to see me about your anxiety relating to your forthcoming holiday was a bit extreme, but I now appreciate just how badly you are suffering.

It’s almost as though you are suffering from a form of Multiple Personality Disorder. I got the distinct impression that the majority of these ‘entities’ are women, although, and I may need treatment myself,” he said, laughing nervously, “At one point I thought that I could discern a demented Irishman.

All these personalities seem to have their own narrative and want to influence your psyche as to how your trip should progress”

“Is there any cure?” queried Allan.

“I’m in two minds,” responded the worthy doctor

“You’re lucky,” replied Allan, “From what you’ve told me, I’ve got at least five to choose from!”

“I need to think about this. Make six appointments for next week”

“Six?” shrieked Allan, “Will it take that long?”

“No” said the doctor, with a smirk, “But that’s one for you, and one each for your other guests”

:-D :-D

"How about we work on the demented Irishman first," Allan said "Before he rolls into someone even worse.....the woman can wait"...not a fact Allan thought he would ever state..."So why do I morph into him is it because I love potatoes so much? or is it because OH tends to call me a Leprechaun due to my height?"

Or is when I kissed the Blarney Stone and fell on my head, or that I drink too much Guinness ?

None of those events - but the appalling battle seen on TV over the US Supreme Court verses Brett Kavanaugh showed how close the nation is to total collapse.

Allan is very worried about his dose of sleeplessness.

The sleeplessness was caused by some confusion.

He had spent many years believing he had emigrated to Australia, but now it seems he has been living in the USA all the time,

With a time delay of a few weeks in his random memories for some unknown reason. Allan decided it was all of the above.
So how to deal with the situation "Doc what is the easiest way to deal with my demented little Irish man personality?"....

"Set him a task," replied Doc.

"He obviously is a man on a mission, so would do well with a purposeful cause to be involved in."

Allan thought about this and decided...........

"I know" he declared loudly "I'll be Santa down at the Mall".....now what could go wrong with that plan......

apart from Sundays' wailing in the local parish church trying to avoid divine discontent or worse even.

Avoid the secular society for the next few weeks & refrain from speaking to any local protean politicians.

Just remember that to an optimist, falling down is the first step to getting up again whereas a pessimist complains about the noise when opportunity knocks loudly on his/her front door.

"Blimey," thought Allan "that random thought was the most random of them all!"

Allan went off looking for a Mall in need of a Santa as he already said what could go wrong with that plan......

Not a lot I'd just have to sit and look jolly and be nice to all the little darlings who've come to see Santa, can't be that hard ,can it?....

You'd think not.....but.....first problem Allan has a svelte body not Santa like at all (you're welcome Allan :-D)......so once at the Mall Allan sought out the nearest fast food joint and he stumbled upon......

A vacancy for a grill chef, "well that's more up my street I know my way around a kitchen flipping burgers would be a doddle..

Unfortunately....you knew there had to be one didn't you.....it was a vegan grill place.....flipping carrots must be easy surely....

All these flipping thoughts are making me feel hungry Allan thought to himself, as he threw another veggie burger onto the flaming grill!

He was still tormented by the Irish personality and wondered if it was somehow tied up with his good friend of a few years ago who he had met whilst sharing a padded cell. This Irishman had first attracted his attention by bouncing from wall to wall at various angles as though playing a game of human snooker.

What was his name?

Al last Allan dredged up the poor chap’s name from the depths of his bedraggled and demented memory. It was Rick O’Shea

:-D :-D all that and a svelte body too......

Then it dawned on Allan.....flaming grills and his hair that even Fabio would be jealous of ; again you're welcome Allan; didn't mix....well they did in a flare-up sort of way.....Allan ran through the Mall hair ablaze until....

The girl with the marvellous coconuts ran up and put the flames out with a bucket of seawater.

She also put the cat out, which caused quite a flap, and gave Allan paws for thought

The seaweed in the bucket added a certain 'something' to Allan's good looks as it hung in green locks onto his shoulders. This was not the look for a burger-master or a santa, but as luck would have it, Allan noticed a huge tent nearby, a Big Top and wondered whether this visiting circus had need of a new trainee.

Perhaps he could achieve his long-held wish to perfect his skills as a .......